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I Suck at Girls Audiobook

I Suck at Girls

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Publisher's Summary

Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."

Fans of the number-one best seller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel f**king universe."

But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

Full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom, it's also full of new characters just as funny—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals, to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

©2012 Justin Halpern (P)2012 HarperCollinsPublishers

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (507 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Heather Phoenix, AZ, United States 06-25-12
    Heather Phoenix, AZ, United States 06-25-12 Member Since 2015

    Avid reader/listener of romance, action, thrillers, and spy novels.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Hilarious Listen"
    What did you love best about I Suck at Girls?

    It's honest approach to his life and how his parents helped him cope with girls throughout his life.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of I Suck at Girls?

    There are many, but I loved the canyon and homeless guys story.


    What about Sean Schemmel’s performance did you like?

    Everything. He was hilarious.


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

    And you thought your parents were frank....


    Any additional comments?

    I got this book on a whim because I read that it was funny. It was a great look at what my generation of single people go through and how life shapes us all. There's so much love within this family, but it's expressed so vulgarly that it's funny. And you'll find yourself remembering your childhood and nodding along with the narrator.

    2 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amanda Lansing, MI, United States 06-20-12
    Amanda Lansing, MI, United States 06-20-12 Member Since 2016
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    "Too Funny"

    I laughed so hard at this book. The reader reminded me at times of South Park characters and personally found that hysterical. When I finished with this book I borrowed J. Halpern's first novel from my library and listened to it twice in a row it was so funny.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Roger Smith Orlando, Florida United States 06-15-12
    Roger Smith Orlando, Florida United States 06-15-12 Member Since 2007

    Say something about yourself!

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    "Father is Hilarious, Son is Boring"

    Halpern's first book about his father was fantastic. This second work about his own life is pretty boring - except when his father makes an appearance. Go for the first book and skip this one.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jeffrey Petaluma, CA, United States 06-15-12
    Jeffrey Petaluma, CA, United States 06-15-12 Member Since 2015
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    "Yes it is as funny as everyone says."

    This is a very funny story. I wish my dad was that smart. Mr. Halpern could write meditational books.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Joey BREWER, ME, United States 06-11-12
    Joey BREWER, ME, United States 06-11-12 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Perhaps Funnier than the first book!"

    Justin Halpern is rapidly becoming one of my favorite writers. Likewise, Sean Schemmel's reading talent is wonderful. I can't imagine anyone else voice in my head when I quote some of these one-liners.
    This book is less about the one liners that the author's Father comes up with and more about the author's personal issues with Women. Personally, I found it inspiring and heartwarming to know I wasn't the only one who felt very awkward around women.
    A wonderful story and a great second volume to the author's first book. If you liked the first one, you'll like this one too.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dack Johnson 06-03-12 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Great Book but Too Short"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    Yes, Same Humor as Sh*t my Dad says. I just wish there was more.


    What other book might you compare I Suck at Girls to and why?

    Sh*t my Dad says


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    LAUGH!


    2 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Debra Youngstown, Ohio, United States 05-23-12
    Debra Youngstown, Ohio, United States 05-23-12

    i'm 60 years old.. an avid reader, terrible speller and self pronounced knowitall.. i usually read epic novels like James Mitchner and i stay away from romance novels.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "funny and endearing"

    I laughed and smiled all the way through the 4 hours and wished it was longer. And if dad is ever in need of a third wife, give him my number.

    2 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer Fort Worth 05-21-12
    Amazon Customer Fort Worth 05-21-12 Member Since 2016

    e commerce man

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "A decent follow up"
    What did you like best about I Suck at Girls? What did you like least?

    The performance is great. Love the "voice" of Dad.


    Could you see I Suck at Girls being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?

    no


    Any additional comments?

    The first book was great. While this one had some laugh out loud moments it wasn't quite as good. Nevertheless glad I "read" it.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rob 06-16-15
    Rob 06-16-15 Member Since 2008
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    "Great book"

    Funny book i would suggest this book to anyone anyone who likes a good comedy should read it

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    secretguard 05-02-15
    secretguard 05-02-15 Member Since 2015
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    "A great book for when you need a laugh"

    I was feeling down in the dumps before I started listening to this audiobook. Within a few minutes the exploits of Justin and his father's snarky wit had me rolling. I highly recommend this book.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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