-
I Suck at Girls
- Narrated by: Sean Schemmel
- Length: 4 hrs and 7 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Prime members: New to Audible?Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
I Suck at Girls
Buy for $17.09
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
Sh-t My Dad Says
- By: Justin Halpern
- Narrated by: Sean Schemmel
- Length: 3 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,155
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,944
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,946
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award
- By Michael on 05-08-10
By: Justin Halpern
-
Dad Is Fat
- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,547
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9,306
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,258
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
- By Sean on 05-17-13
By: Jim Gaffigan
-
Life of the Party
- Stories of a Perpetual Man-Child
- By: Bert Kreischer
- Narrated by: Bert Kreischer
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 4,137
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,719
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,701
Bert Kreischer doesn't know how to say "no." If he did, he wouldn't have gotten himself mixed up with a group of Russian mobsters on a class trip to Moscow, earning him his nickname: "The Machine." He wouldn't have wrestled with a bear or swum with sharks on national television. He wouldn't have (possibly) smoked PCP with a star of Saturday Night Live. And he wouldn't have been named the Number One Partier in the Nation by Rolling Stone, inspired the movie National Lampoon's Van Wilder, or performed standup to sellout crowds across the country.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Fart Chrysler
- By Ryan Bonifay on 05-23-17
By: Bert Kreischer
-
Assholes Finish First
- By: Tucker Max
- Narrated by: Tucker Max
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,168
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 950
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 948
What do you do after you write a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit."
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Not impressed
- By RLK on 04-05-17
By: Tucker Max
-
I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
- Essays
- By: Tom Segura
- Narrated by: Tom Segura
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 10,020
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,933
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 8,888
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Hot sauce is the best!
- By Michael Bowen on 06-15-22
By: Tom Segura
-
I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55,728
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,208
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49,952
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
-
Sh-t My Dad Says
- By: Justin Halpern
- Narrated by: Sean Schemmel
- Length: 3 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,155
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,944
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,946
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award
- By Michael on 05-08-10
By: Justin Halpern
-
Dad Is Fat
- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,547
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9,306
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,258
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
- By Sean on 05-17-13
By: Jim Gaffigan
-
Life of the Party
- Stories of a Perpetual Man-Child
- By: Bert Kreischer
- Narrated by: Bert Kreischer
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 4,137
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,719
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,701
Bert Kreischer doesn't know how to say "no." If he did, he wouldn't have gotten himself mixed up with a group of Russian mobsters on a class trip to Moscow, earning him his nickname: "The Machine." He wouldn't have wrestled with a bear or swum with sharks on national television. He wouldn't have (possibly) smoked PCP with a star of Saturday Night Live. And he wouldn't have been named the Number One Partier in the Nation by Rolling Stone, inspired the movie National Lampoon's Van Wilder, or performed standup to sellout crowds across the country.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Fart Chrysler
- By Ryan Bonifay on 05-23-17
By: Bert Kreischer
-
Assholes Finish First
- By: Tucker Max
- Narrated by: Tucker Max
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,168
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 950
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 948
What do you do after you write a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit."
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Not impressed
- By RLK on 04-05-17
By: Tucker Max
-
I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
- Essays
- By: Tom Segura
- Narrated by: Tom Segura
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 10,020
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,933
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 8,888
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Hot sauce is the best!
- By Michael Bowen on 06-15-22
By: Tom Segura
-
I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55,728
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,208
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49,952
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
-
Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers
- By: Tucker Max
- Narrated by: Tucker Max
- Length: 3 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 373
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 331
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 328
As a thank you to those who have loved the stories and supported him for so long, Tucker has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time, culled out what you might call the "best of the rest" and arranged it here, in Sloppy Seconds, like an audiobook version of deleted scenes. Unlike most deleted scenes, however, these don't suck. So enjoy.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Slightly Disappointing
- By Alex on 05-08-12
By: Tucker Max
-
Yearbook
- By: Seth Rogen
- Narrated by: Seth Rogen, full cast
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,918
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,613
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,553
Hi! I’m Seth! I was asked to describe my audiobook, Yearbook for websites and shit like that, so...here it goes!!! Yearbook is a collection of true stories that I desperately hope are just funny at worst, and life-changingly amazing at best. (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Good until it turned political
- By atk0623 on 05-20-21
By: Seth Rogen
-
Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 60,456
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 50,591
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,359
Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
-
Failure Is an Option
- An Attempted Memoir
- By: H. Jon Benjamin
- Narrated by: H. Jon Benjamin
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,885
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,432
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 4,408
While he's not quite a household name, most people would consider H. Jon Benjamin, the voice-actor star of Archer and Bob's Burgers (and a sentient can of mixed vegetables in 2015's Wet Hot American Summer) a comedy show business success. But he'd like to remind everyone that as great as success can be, failure is also an option. In a hilarious, self-deprecating memoir, Jon lays out some of his many failures in all areas of life, from Work ("wherein I'm unable to deliver a sizzling fajita") to Family ("wherein a trip to PF Chang's fractures a family").
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
No joke, This book helped my marriage
- By Michelle on 05-07-18
By: H. Jon Benjamin
-
Hilarity Ensues
- By: Tucker Max
- Narrated by: Tucker Max
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 781
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 693
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 687
Here's Tucker Max's third and final book in his series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole," and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First, ends here.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Unbearable.
- By Angie on 04-10-13
By: Tucker Max
-
A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,531
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,239
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,184
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
-
David Sedaris
- Live for Your Listening Pleasure
- By: David Sedaris
- Narrated by: David Sedaris
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 968
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 576
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 568
LIVE recordings of new, previously unreleased David Sedaris stories!
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Overpriced and Undergood
- By Kelley on 12-12-09
By: David Sedaris
-
Mate
- Become the Man Women Want
- By: Tucker Max, Geoffrey Miller PhD
- Narrated by: Geoffrey Miller PhD
- Length: 12 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,237
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,090
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,075
Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20-plus years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Essential Reading for any man!!
- By Rosa Vargas on 03-14-16
By: Tucker Max, and others
-
Just a Guy
- Notes from a Blue Collar Life
- By: Bill Engvall, Alan Eisenstock
- Narrated by: Bill Engvall
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 625
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 489
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 487
Blue Collar Comedy star Bill Engvall is just a guy. He's been one his whole life. He can't help it; he was born that way. And that makes him an expert on the subject. For the record, here's the official definition of a guy: a person who doesn't think before he speaks. He can't. He's not that deep. Because a guy has only three basic needs: eating, sleeping, and sex. That's it. Just a Guy chronicles a lifetime in pursuit of those needs.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
The Man Behind The Signs
- By Christopher on 12-07-07
By: Bill Engvall, and others
-
Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules (Unabridged Selections)
- By: Edited by David Sedaris
- Narrated by: David Sedaris, Mary-Louise Parker, Cherry Jones
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 357
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 215
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 216
Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules is a collection of short stories, some classic, others impending, selected and introduced by David Sedaris.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Great stories but only 5 of 17 are included
- By Terri Kirk on 07-13-12
-
Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 360
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 322
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 319
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
-
The Witness
- By: Nora Roberts
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 16 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32,909
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 29,453
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29,380
Daughter of a cold, controlling mother and an anonymous donor, studious, obedient Elizabeth Fitch finally let loose one night, drinking too much at a nightclub and allowing a strange man’s seductive Russian accent to lure her to a house on Lake Shore Drive. Twelve years later, the woman now known as Abigail Lowery lives alone on the outskirts of a small town in the Ozarks.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Classic Nora - Outstanding!!!!
- By M. Davis on 04-20-12
By: Nora Roberts
Publisher's summary
Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013
"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."
Fans of the number-one best seller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel f**king universe."
But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.
Full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom, it's also full of new characters just as funny—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals, to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.
More from the same
Related to this topic
-
A Bad Idea I'm About to Do
- True Tales of Seriously Poor Judgment and Stunningly Awkward Adventure
- By: Chris Gethard
- Narrated by: Chris Gethard
- Length: 7 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 177
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 159
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 159
Chris Gethard has often found himself in awkward situations most people, including you, probably would have safely avoided. The good news is now, thanks to this book, you can enjoy the painfully funny consequences of his unfortunate decisions at a safe distance. A Bad Idea I'm About to Do invites listeners to join Chris as he navigates an adolescence and adulthood mired in hilariously ill-fated nerdom, and to take comfort in the fact that - as his experiences often prove - things could always be much, much worse.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Loved it!!!
- By Amber G on 10-02-20
By: Chris Gethard
-
I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 463
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 404
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 402
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
-
Just a Guy
- Notes from a Blue Collar Life
- By: Bill Engvall, Alan Eisenstock
- Narrated by: Bill Engvall
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 625
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 489
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 487
Blue Collar Comedy star Bill Engvall is just a guy. He's been one his whole life. He can't help it; he was born that way. And that makes him an expert on the subject. For the record, here's the official definition of a guy: a person who doesn't think before he speaks. He can't. He's not that deep. Because a guy has only three basic needs: eating, sleeping, and sex. That's it. Just a Guy chronicles a lifetime in pursuit of those needs.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
The Man Behind The Signs
- By Christopher on 12-07-07
By: Bill Engvall, and others
-
An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 337
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 288
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 287
When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
-
I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 833
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 743
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 735
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
-
Please Ignore Vera Dietz
- By: A. S. King
- Narrated by: Lynde Houck
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 107
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 91
Vera’s spent her whole life secretly in love with her best friend, Charlie Kahn. And over the years she’s kept a lot of his secrets. Even after he betrayed her. Even after he ruined everything. So when Charlie dies in dark circumstances, Vera knows a lot more than anyone - the kids at school, his family, even the police. But will she emerge to clear his name? Does she even want to? Edgy and gripping, Please Ignore Vera Dietz is an unforgettable novel: Smart, funny, dramatic, and always surprising.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Moving, disturbing, and humorous
- By Julie on 08-26-11
By: A. S. King
-
A Bad Idea I'm About to Do
- True Tales of Seriously Poor Judgment and Stunningly Awkward Adventure
- By: Chris Gethard
- Narrated by: Chris Gethard
- Length: 7 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 177
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 159
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 159
Chris Gethard has often found himself in awkward situations most people, including you, probably would have safely avoided. The good news is now, thanks to this book, you can enjoy the painfully funny consequences of his unfortunate decisions at a safe distance. A Bad Idea I'm About to Do invites listeners to join Chris as he navigates an adolescence and adulthood mired in hilariously ill-fated nerdom, and to take comfort in the fact that - as his experiences often prove - things could always be much, much worse.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Loved it!!!
- By Amber G on 10-02-20
By: Chris Gethard
-
I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 463
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 404
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 402
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
-
Just a Guy
- Notes from a Blue Collar Life
- By: Bill Engvall, Alan Eisenstock
- Narrated by: Bill Engvall
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 625
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 489
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 487
Blue Collar Comedy star Bill Engvall is just a guy. He's been one his whole life. He can't help it; he was born that way. And that makes him an expert on the subject. For the record, here's the official definition of a guy: a person who doesn't think before he speaks. He can't. He's not that deep. Because a guy has only three basic needs: eating, sleeping, and sex. That's it. Just a Guy chronicles a lifetime in pursuit of those needs.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
The Man Behind The Signs
- By Christopher on 12-07-07
By: Bill Engvall, and others
-
An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 337
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 288
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 287
When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
-
I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 833
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 743
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 735
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
-
Please Ignore Vera Dietz
- By: A. S. King
- Narrated by: Lynde Houck
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 107
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 91
Vera’s spent her whole life secretly in love with her best friend, Charlie Kahn. And over the years she’s kept a lot of his secrets. Even after he betrayed her. Even after he ruined everything. So when Charlie dies in dark circumstances, Vera knows a lot more than anyone - the kids at school, his family, even the police. But will she emerge to clear his name? Does she even want to? Edgy and gripping, Please Ignore Vera Dietz is an unforgettable novel: Smart, funny, dramatic, and always surprising.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Moving, disturbing, and humorous
- By Julie on 08-26-11
By: A. S. King
-
The Death of Cool
- From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
- By: Gavin McInnes
- Narrated by: Gavin McInnes
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,187
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,049
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 1,049
This is his story, or, rather, stories - lots of them, and all gut-punchingly hilarious, from that first far reach into a girl's tight jeans to turning forty with a cataclysmic party. In between you’ll hear about acid trips, threesomes, Nazi skinheads, his band Anal Chinook (Inuit for “warm wind”), Martians in northern Canada, throwing pedophiles in jail, dinner with the Clash, what happens when you crash Bill Maher's show wasted, and the true story of Vice magazine.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
if you don't buy this book, the terrorists win
- By Kelsey Gholi on 04-03-17
By: Gavin McInnes
-
I'm Down
- A Memoir
- By: Mishna Wolff
- Narrated by: Mishna Wolff
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 179
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 124
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 126
Mishna Wolff grew up in a poor black neighborhood with her single father, a white man who truly believed he was black. "He strutted around with a short perm, a Cosby-esque sweater, gold chains and a Kangol---telling jokes like Redd Fox, and giving advice like Jesse Jackson. You couldn't tell my father he was white. Believe me, I tried," writes Wolff. And so from early childhood on, her father began his crusade to make his white daughter down.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
I stopped listening an hour in....
- By Casey on 11-07-09
By: Mishna Wolff
-
The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 66
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 59
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 59
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
-
God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 130
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 122
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 121
When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
-
Looking for Alaska
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,119
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,825
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,819
Miles Halter is fascinated by famous last words - and tired of his safe life at home. He leaves for boarding school to seek what the dying poet François Rabelais called the “Great Perhaps”. Much awaits Miles at Culver Creek, including Alaska Young, who will pull Miles into her labyrinth and catapult him into the Great Perhaps.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I am concussed dot-dot-dot
- By Brendan McKenna on 10-01-19
By: John Green
-
I Am Not Myself These Days
- A Memoir
- By: Josh Kilmer-Purcell
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 158
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 141
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 141
I Am Not Myself These Days follows a glittering journey through Manhattan's dark underbelly---a shocking and surreal world where alter egos reign and subsist (barely) on dark wit and chemicals...a tragic romantic comedy where one begins by rooting for the survival of the relationship and ends by hoping someone simply survives.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
depressing
- By Barry Morrison on 08-02-16
-
Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 496
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 454
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 453
In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
-
Domestic Violets
- A Novel
- By: Matthew Norman
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 221
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 195
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 192
Tom Violet always thought that by the time he turned 35, he’d have everything going for him. Fame. Fortune. A beautiful wife. A satisfying career as a successful novelist. A happy dog to greet him at the end of the day. The reality, though, is far different. He’s got a wife, but their problems are bigger than he can even imagine. And he’s written a novel, but the manuscript he’s slaved over for years is currently hidden in his desk drawer while his father, an actual famous writer, just won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. His career, such that it is, involves mind-numbing corporate buzzwords....
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
What a rollicking ride!
- By Pamela Harvey on 08-13-11
By: Matthew Norman
-
Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
-
Rats Saw God
- By: Rob Thomas
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 41
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 33
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
By his senior year, Steve York has come through the worst two years of his life. His parents have divorced, and his girlfriend has betrayed him. Worse yet, after running away to live with his mother in San Diego, forays into the drug culture have turned his A-average into a thing of the past. Steve's only hope to graduate on time and avoid summer school is to write a 100-page paper for his guidance counselor. Unfortunately, he has to write about something he knows, and all he knows well are the last two years of his life.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Real
- By Mary on 06-26-09
By: Rob Thomas
-
You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 290
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 266
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 263
In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
-
The Secret Side of Empty
- By: Maria E. Andreu
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 24
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 23
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 23
What's it like to be undocumented? High school senior M.T. knows all too well. With graduation and an uncertain future looming, she must figure out how to grow up in the only country she's ever called home... a country in which she's "illegal". M.T. was born in Argentina and brought to America as a baby without any official papers. And as questions of college, work, and the future arise, M.T. will have to decide what exactly she wants for herself, knowing someone she loves will unavoidably pay the price for it.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Heavy topics handled well but just fell short 4 me
- By AudioBookHoe on 07-30-17
By: Maria E. Andreu
What listeners say about I Suck at Girls
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance3 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- Leanne
- 04-26-13
Not as good as Sh*t My Dad Says
Would you try another book from Justin Halpern and/or Sean Schemmel?
I'd still give Justin another shot just because I loved Sh*t my dad says so much
Would you listen to another book narrated by Sean Schemmel?
I might not. It was a little monotonous
Do you think I Suck at Girls needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?
No. It tied itself up nicely.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
4 people found this helpful
-
Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- The Handman
- 07-10-12
The sequel is always less exciting
Would you try another book from Justin Halpern and/or Sean Schemmel?
Sure. The content is funny.
Would you be willing to try another book from Justin Halpern? Why or why not?
Sure, the stories are funny, but it seems like the best stuff made it into Sh*t My Dad Says.
What about Sean Schemmel’s performance did you like?
Does great voices, even though not accurate, they're funny
Do you think I Suck at Girls needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?
Nope, this is the follow up book
Any additional comments?
Not as good as the previous book, but still ok.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- AD
- 02-18-19
Not a comical read
Nothing like Shit my Dad says... Slow moving and a little dry at times - his Dad should have said add more humor
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Richard
- 07-12-18
Extremely funny and a great listen
A great funny story and also a great performance reading the book. The voices the reader used added greatly to the book. The portrayal of the authors fathers voice had me rolling with laughter.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Diana
- 10-16-16
Loved it!😀
So funny and irreverent , and far too short. The Dad's gruff voice is hilarious. When is the next book coming?
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Ryan B.
- 08-14-12
I suck at Reading...
S*** My Dad Says (Justin Halpern) set a pretty high level expectation for this read. Although I Suck at Girls was a very entertaining and funny read, it does not quite match up to S*** My Dad Says.
This book is also a great read for males that were on the more introverted side while growing up - makes our journey look easy (or maybe I am just that cool).
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- Sarah
- 08-16-13
I'm too old for this stuff...
Some of this is very funny, but in the end, it just wasn't for me. I guess am too jaded to listen to stories about boys and young men's troubles with girls. I kept cringing like I do to some sitcoms. Somehow I thought it would be more metaphorical...
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ana
- 02-07-17
Hilarious
Loved every minute of it. Listened to it repeatedly. Laughed so hard that I almost cried.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- varun
- 08-20-12
Surprisely very good story flow
What made the experience of listening to I Suck at Girls the most enjoyable?
It's quite easy going story just like in everyone's life and very good conversation between father and son .weirdly amazing.
What did you like best about this story?
Amazing story flow and quite relaxing book to listen
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance2 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- J. Duffy
- 04-27-18
Good story, cheesy dad voice...
The story was good, hard to follow the first book but still funny. I was disappointed in the cheesy dad voice was too much...
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful