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I Suck at Girls Audiobook

I Suck at Girls

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Publisher's Summary

Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."

Fans of the number-one best seller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel f**king universe."

But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

Full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom, it's also full of new characters just as funny—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals, to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

©2012 Justin Halpern (P)2012 HarperCollinsPublishers

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (498 )
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Performance
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  •  
    William Mount Prospect, IL, United States 07-18-13
    William Mount Prospect, IL, United States 07-18-13 Member Since 2016
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    9
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    "Do yourself a favor and don't buy this"
    What would have made I Suck at Girls better?

    Ok. I don't think I've ever given a bad review Sh*t My Dad Says was very good. It is better than this book in every conceivable way. The story was good, it was funny, the narrator was good. None of which is true for this book. I literally struggled through 30 minutes of it before I simply could not take anymore of it.


    Would you ever listen to anything by Justin Halpern again?

    Halpern has a lot of potential. I expected a lot more which is probably why I was so disappointed.


    How could the performance have been better?

    Performance between the two characters created a very annoying contrast. The dad sounded like something in between a baboon and a character on the Muppets. Well not in between... 85% Muppet. Gruff, non realistic, voice. Just awful and annoying. Nobody talks like that and I could not relate to the characters at all.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from I Suck at Girls?

    the entire book and pick a different narrator.


    Any additional comments?

    If you are looking for a better pick check out anything by Mike Birbiglia. Same space, better writing and hilarious.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    J.D. 07-06-13
    J.D. 07-06-13

    Student, teacher, music, and book lover

    ratings
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    180
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    Story
    "I tried and tried and just couldn't finish it"
    What would have made I Suck at Girls better?

    A better narrator


    Any additional comments?

    I really enjoyed the story much more than I enjoyed the narration. The father's voice was so irritating to me. It was so overly exaggerated and sort of belittling. It makes him sound like some low end thug when really he was a brilliantly sarcasti doctor of nuclear medicine. I know it's a personal opinion, but I could not stand the narration of the father. I should have read the book so I could enjoy the stories.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Karra French 07-01-13
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    "Found Justin to be funnier than his father"
    Who was your favorite character and why?

    I realize the father is supposed to be the highlight, but I found the way Justin told the story and his own additions to be funnier than the quotes from the father.


    What does Sean Schemmel bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    The narration is great, except for his "girl voices." These made me cringe. I would have rather he just read the female parts in his own voice, rather than sounding like a man doing a church-lady voice. It was awkward and I thought really took away from those moments.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mom Addicted to Target Texas 03-25-13
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    "Loved it!!!"
    If you could sum up I Suck at Girls in three words, what would they be?

    So freakin hilarious!


    What other book might you compare I Suck at Girls to and why?

    Only his other book "sh*t my dad says".


    What does Sean Schemmel bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    The voices are great. They add to the humor of the book.


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

    Warning: Sporadic uncontrollable laughter may occur. A lot


    Any additional comments?

    I need more Justin Halpern books. It's hard to find a truly funny book, perfectly paired with a hilarious narrator.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ziloni 02-27-13
    Ziloni 02-27-13 Listener Since 1999
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    "Didn't find it interesting"
    Would you try another book from Justin Halpern and/or Sean Schemmel?

    No.


    Would you recommend I Suck at Girls to your friends? Why or why not?

    No. I just didnt find it interesting. The narrator was fine and I cant say I was bored to death, but it just didnt seem like anything in there was really worthy of a book.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Nascar Pryncess 01-31-13

    nascar_princess

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    "Not as good as the first"
    What did you like best about I Suck at Girls? What did you like least?

    I Suck at Girls had great moments but it wasn't the laugh out loud, side hurting entertainment that the first book was. I thought the narration was perfect.


    If this book were a movie would you go see it?

    No.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Daniel 01-28-13
    Daniel 01-28-13 Member Since 2013
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    "Quit when you're ahead"

    Huge fan of the Sh*t My Dad Says blog, and even read the first book. There was BARELY enough interesting content for one book; nowhere near enough for two.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    courtney 12-28-12
    courtney 12-28-12
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    5
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    "Pretty funny"
    Where does I Suck at Girls rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    About average.


    Any additional comments?

    Was a pretty funny book, made me laugh out loud at moments. Good narration too.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    A. ricci San Francisco, CA United States 10-08-12
    A. ricci San Francisco, CA United States 10-08-12 Member Since 2016

    jricci

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    "Not just his dad is funny!"
    What did you love best about I Suck at Girls?

    Just simple little stories, but told with hilarious insights gained thru the years.


    What other book might you compare I Suck at Girls to and why?

    Obviously Sh*t my dad says. I wouldn't compare to David Sedaris, though I can see why people do, it's a different style.


    Which character – as performed by Sean Schemmel – was your favorite?

    The dad! But also the friend from little league. OMG that part had my husband and I laughing so hard we nearly crashed the car.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    Laugh !!!


    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Adam Gotha, FL, United States 09-25-12
    Adam Gotha, FL, United States 09-25-12 Member Since 2001
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    "Loved his first book and this is a nice followup"
    If you could sum up I Suck at Girls in three words, what would they be?

    Funny
    Entertaining
    Quick


    Any additional comments?

    This is a very good followup. So often the sophomore effort is weak but i liked this book also. A pretty quick listen but the length was just right.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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