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I Suck at Girls | [Justin Halpern]

I Suck at Girls

Fans of the #1 bests eller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe."
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Publisher's Summary

Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."

Fans of the number-one best seller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel f**king universe."

But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

Full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom, it's also full of new characters just as funny—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals, to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

©2012 Justin Halpern (P)2012 HarperCollinsPublishers

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.0 (297 )
5 star
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3.9 (271 )
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Story
4.2 (267 )
5 star
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3 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Roger Smith Orlando, Florida United States 06-15-12
    Roger Smith Orlando, Florida United States 06-15-12 Member Since 2000

    Say something about yourself!

    HELPFUL VOTES
    238
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    327
    96
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    "Father is Hilarious, Son is Boring"

    Halpern's first book about his father was fantastic. This second work about his own life is pretty boring - except when his father makes an appearance. Go for the first book and skip this one.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer Fort Worth 05-21-12
    Amazon Customer Fort Worth 05-21-12 Member Since 2007

    e commerce man

    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
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    23
    1
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    0
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    "A decent follow up"
    What did you like best about I Suck at Girls? What did you like least?

    The performance is great. Love the "voice" of Dad.


    Could you see I Suck at Girls being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?

    no


    Any additional comments?

    The first book was great. While this one had some laugh out loud moments it wasn't quite as good. Nevertheless glad I "read" it.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mike L. Baltimore, Md 12-28-13
    Mike L. Baltimore, Md 12-28-13 Member Since 2013

    Mike

    ratings
    REVIEWS
    9
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Funny And Entertaining"
    Where does I Suck at Girls rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    This book was one of the more humorous books I've listened to. It's well written and easily relatable to the main character.


    Have you listened to any of Sean Schemmel’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    Schemmel's performance was solid. In the beginning it was a little distracting as many of the voices sounded like characters from South Park, which took me out of the story, but it tailed off as we get into the character's adult life.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jonathan Famous Pennsylvania 12-08-13
    Jonathan Famous Pennsylvania 12-08-13 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
    3
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    30
    12
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    "Cute but not great"
    Which character – as performed by Sean Schemmel – was your favorite?

    The reading of this book is excellent. The portrayal of all characters works, but that of the father is extremely well done. The overall book is decent, cute, but it's not great. It's somewhat of a history of the author's relationships, presumably embellished for humor's sake, but it's really the relationship with the father that makes the book (not surprising from the writer of "Sh*t my dad says"). It's not bad reading, it's humorous at times, it's short and quick to get through. I don't feel like I wasted my time reading it, but I can't think of anything about it that would cause me to recommend it to anyone.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sarah Fair Haven, NJ, United States 08-16-13
    Sarah Fair Haven, NJ, United States 08-16-13 Member Since 2011

    sfischell

    ratings
    REVIEWS
    8
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I'm too old for this stuff..."

    Some of this is very funny, but in the end, it just wasn't for me. I guess am too jaded to listen to stories about boys and young men's troubles with girls. I kept cringing like I do to some sitcoms. Somehow I thought it would be more metaphorical...

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    tami kamuela, HI, United States 07-19-13
    tami kamuela, HI, United States 07-19-13 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    5
    ratings
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    112
    13
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    1
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    "Dad saves story"
    Would you try another book from Justin Halpern and/or Sean Schemmel?

    yes but all i really want is more about his dad.


    How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

    More wisdom from dad,


    What did you like about the performance? What did you dislike?

    not impressed not unimpressed


    Could you see I Suck at Girls being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?

    brian Dunahey Jude law and emma stone.



    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    William Mount Prospect, IL, United States 07-18-13
    William Mount Prospect, IL, United States 07-18-13
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    8
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Do yourself a favor and don't buy this"
    What would have made I Suck at Girls better?

    Ok. I don't think I've ever given a bad review Sh*t My Dad Says was very good. It is better than this book in every conceivable way. The story was good, it was funny, the narrator was good. None of which is true for this book. I literally struggled through 30 minutes of it before I simply could not take anymore of it.


    Would you ever listen to anything by Justin Halpern again?

    Halpern has a lot of potential. I expected a lot more which is probably why I was so disappointed.


    How could the performance have been better?

    Performance between the two characters created a very annoying contrast. The dad sounded like something in between a baboon and a character on the Muppets. Well not in between... 85% Muppet. Gruff, non realistic, voice. Just awful and annoying. Nobody talks like that and I could not relate to the characters at all.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from I Suck at Girls?

    the entire book and pick a different narrator.


    Any additional comments?

    If you are looking for a better pick check out anything by Mike Birbiglia. Same space, better writing and hilarious.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    J.D. Los Angeles, Ca 07-06-13
    J.D. Los Angeles, Ca 07-06-13

    Student, teacher, music, and book lover

    ratings
    REVIEWS
    157
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I tried and tried and just couldn't finish it"
    What would have made I Suck at Girls better?

    A better narrator


    Any additional comments?

    I really enjoyed the story much more than I enjoyed the narration. The father's voice was so irritating to me. It was so overly exaggerated and sort of belittling. It makes him sound like some low end thug when really he was a brilliantly sarcasti doctor of nuclear medicine. I know it's a personal opinion, but I could not stand the narration of the father. I should have read the book so I could enjoy the stories.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Karra French Frederick, MD, US 07-01-13
    Karra French Frederick, MD, US 07-01-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    13
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    14
    5
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    "Found Justin to be funnier than his father"
    Who was your favorite character and why?

    I realize the father is supposed to be the highlight, but I found the way Justin told the story and his own additions to be funnier than the quotes from the father.


    What does Sean Schemmel bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    The narration is great, except for his "girl voices." These made me cringe. I would have rather he just read the female parts in his own voice, rather than sounding like a man doing a church-lady voice. It was awkward and I thought really took away from those moments.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Leanne QUESTA, NM, United States 04-26-13
    Leanne QUESTA, NM, United States 04-26-13 Member Since 2012
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    5
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Not as good as Sh*t My Dad Says"
    Would you try another book from Justin Halpern and/or Sean Schemmel?

    I'd still give Justin another shot just because I loved Sh*t my dad says so much


    Would you listen to another book narrated by Sean Schemmel?

    I might not. It was a little monotonous


    Do you think I Suck at Girls needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

    No. It tied itself up nicely.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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