We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access .
I Suck at Girls Audiobook

I Suck at Girls

Regular Price:$10.49
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • $14.95/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Publisher's Summary

Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."

Fans of the number-one best seller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel f**king universe."

But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

Full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom, it's also full of new characters just as funny—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals, to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

©2012 Justin Halpern (P)2012 HarperCollinsPublishers

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (497 )
5 star
 (214)
4 star
 (171)
3 star
 (79)
2 star
 (20)
1 star
 (13)
Overall
4.1 (456 )
5 star
 (191)
4 star
 (142)
3 star
 (89)
2 star
 (25)
1 star
 (9)
Story
4.3 (453 )
5 star
 (246)
4 star
 (125)
3 star
 (54)
2 star
 (14)
1 star
 (14)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    G. House Sr. Sherborn, MA, United States 08-20-15
    G. House Sr. Sherborn, MA, United States 08-20-15 Member Since 2016

    I am an avid listener. I listen between 75-100 hours per month on my iPhone: 60% fiction to 40% non-fiction.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    2466
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    600
    269
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    490
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "The Dad is side-splitting funny"

    This book is hysterically funny for the first half and just plain funny in the second half. The father's advice is uproarious and the counter point of the mother just can't be topped. I was on a crowded Amtrak train coming back from NYC and I was laughing so hard, I thought the conductor was going to put me off midway. This book is really about the travails of the author finding and figuring out whether he should or should not propose to his girlfriend.

    This book is going to appeal far more to men than to woman. It isn't that the book is sexist, it's because it written from a very male point of view. Think sophomoric humor. If you like that type of humor and gutter language, you'll be fine.

    For me, I found it funny. If you liked his first book and the TV show, you'll like his second. Thumbs up.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Leanne QUESTA, NM, United States 04-26-13
    Leanne QUESTA, NM, United States 04-26-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    5
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Not as good as Sh*t My Dad Says"
    Would you try another book from Justin Halpern and/or Sean Schemmel?

    I'd still give Justin another shot just because I loved Sh*t my dad says so much


    Would you listen to another book narrated by Sean Schemmel?

    I might not. It was a little monotonous


    Do you think I Suck at Girls needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

    No. It tied itself up nicely.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jay bridgeport, WV, United States 05-23-12
    Jay bridgeport, WV, United States 05-23-12 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
    8
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    32
    19
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    1
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Funny but nowhere like the the first book."
    Any additional comments?

    Wanted more of his dad in the book. If was funny, but not want I was expecting.

    4 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    obyrne 05-27-16
    obyrne 05-27-16 Member Since 2016
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    4
    3
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Hilarious"

    Anything by Justin Halpern makes me laugh. I recommend his books 110% to all my friends!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Christina 05-24-16
    Christina 05-24-16
    HELPFUL VOTES
    6
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    69
    20
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Funny"

    It was funny, although not as good as his first book, Sh*t my dad said. Also, the narrator's tone for him was a bit too whiny - especially during interactions w/his dad.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mary Grove City, OH, United States 04-06-16
    Mary Grove City, OH, United States 04-06-16 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    16
    5
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Laugh-out-loud funny."

    Absolutely hilarious story of a young man trying to understand women.
    Fantastic narration.
    Don't listen with your kids.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 02-18-16 Member Since 2016
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    6
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "loved it"

    I loved the story. closes out the first book. śean shemmel is a great story teller

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jonathan Famous Pennsylvania 12-08-13
    Jonathan Famous Pennsylvania 12-08-13 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
    6
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    30
    12
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Cute but not great"
    Which character – as performed by Sean Schemmel – was your favorite?

    The reading of this book is excellent. The portrayal of all characters works, but that of the father is extremely well done. The overall book is decent, cute, but it's not great. It's somewhat of a history of the author's relationships, presumably embellished for humor's sake, but it's really the relationship with the father that makes the book (not surprising from the writer of "Sh*t my dad says"). It's not bad reading, it's humorous at times, it's short and quick to get through. I don't feel like I wasted my time reading it, but I can't think of anything about it that would cause me to recommend it to anyone.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sarah 08-16-13
    Sarah 08-16-13

    sfischell

    ratings
    REVIEWS
    14
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I'm too old for this stuff..."

    Some of this is very funny, but in the end, it just wasn't for me. I guess am too jaded to listen to stories about boys and young men's troubles with girls. I kept cringing like I do to some sitcoms. Somehow I thought it would be more metaphorical...

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    tami kamuela, HI, United States 07-19-13
    tami kamuela, HI, United States 07-19-13 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    6
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    113
    13
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    1
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Dad saves story"
    Would you try another book from Justin Halpern and/or Sean Schemmel?

    yes but all i really want is more about his dad.


    How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

    More wisdom from dad,


    What did you like about the performance? What did you dislike?

    not impressed not unimpressed


    Could you see I Suck at Girls being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?

    brian Dunahey Jude law and emma stone.



    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

Cancel

Thank you.

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.