I Suck at Girls

By: Justin Halpern

Narrated by: Sean Schemmel

Length: 4 hrs and 7 mins

Publisher's summary

Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."

Fans of the number-one best seller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel f**king universe."

But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

Full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom, it's also full of new characters just as funny—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals, to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

©2012 Justin Halpern (P)2012 HarperCollinsPublishers

Loved it!!!

If you could sum up I Suck at Girls in three words, what would they be?

So freakin hilarious!

What other book might you compare I Suck at Girls to and why?

Only his other book "sh*t my dad says".

What does Sean Schemmel bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

The voices are great. They add to the humor of the book.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Warning: Sporadic uncontrollable laughter may occur. A lot

Any additional comments?

I need more Justin Halpern books. It's hard to find a truly funny book, perfectly paired with a hilarious narrator.

Yes it is as funny as everyone says.

This is a very funny story. I wish my dad was that smart. Mr. Halpern could write meditational books.

Perhaps Funnier than the first book!

Justin Halpern is rapidly becoming one of my favorite writers. Likewise, Sean Schemmel's reading talent is wonderful. I can't imagine anyone else voice in my head when I quote some of these one-liners.
This book is less about the one liners that the author's Father comes up with and more about the author's personal issues with Women. Personally, I found it inspiring and heartwarming to know I wasn't the only one who felt very awkward around women.
A wonderful story and a great second volume to the author's first book. If you liked the first one, you'll like this one too.

Too Funny

I laughed so hard at this book. The reader reminded me at times of South Park characters and personally found that hysterical. When I finished with this book I borrowed J. Halpern's first novel from my library and listened to it twice in a row it was so funny.

Good Book

A pretty good follow up to Justin's first book. I enjoyed the first one better since the dad is such a great character. I also enjoyed the Fox show "Surviving Jack" that was based off this book. Too bad it got cancelled so quickly.

Hilarious Listen

What did you love best about I Suck at Girls?

It's honest approach to his life and how his parents helped him cope with girls throughout his life.

What was one of the most memorable moments of I Suck at Girls?

There are many, but I loved the canyon and homeless guys story.

What about Sean Schemmel’s performance did you like?

Everything. He was hilarious.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

And you thought your parents were frank....

Any additional comments?

I got this book on a whim because I read that it was funny. It was a great look at what my generation of single people go through and how life shapes us all. There's so much love within this family, but it's expressed so vulgarly that it's funny. And you'll find yourself remembering your childhood and nodding along with the narrator.

Father is Hilarious, Son is Boring

Halpern's first book about his father was fantastic. This second work about his own life is pretty boring - except when his father makes an appearance. Go for the first book and skip this one.

No one can suck this bad at closing the deal.

Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

Depends on the friend.

What could Justin Halpern have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

He's telling his life story, hard to change that.

Have you listened to any of Sean Schemmel’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

He is great.

Was I Suck at Girls worth the listening time?

Most of the time.

Great 2nd Book.

Not quite as brilliant as, “Shit My Dad Says,” but definitely ranking in comedic entertainment value. More importantly, a fantastic reminder for all us awkward humans bumbling clumsily through life that laughter is ever the best medicine....

Hilarious Book!

This is an absolutely hilarious book. It was brilliantly written and performed wonderfully. I would absolutely recommend to anybody that also enjoyed “Shit my dad says”. Justin Halpern has a great sense of humor that makes you want to keep listening!