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I Suck at Girls  By  cover art

I Suck at Girls

By: Justin Halpern
Narrated by: Sean Schemmel
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Publisher's summary

Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."

Fans of the number-one best seller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel f**king universe."

But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

Full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom, it's also full of new characters just as funny—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals, to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

©2012 Justin Halpern (P)2012 HarperCollinsPublishers

What listeners say about I Suck at Girls

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • GH
  • 08-20-15

The Dad is side-splitting funny

This book is hysterically funny for the first half and just plain funny in the second half. The father's advice is uproarious and the counter point of the mother just can't be topped. I was on a crowded Amtrak train coming back from NYC and I was laughing so hard, I thought the conductor was going to put me off midway. This book is really about the travails of the author finding and figuring out whether he should or should not propose to his girlfriend.

This book is going to appeal far more to men than to woman. It isn't that the book is sexist, it's because it written from a very male point of view. Think sophomoric humor. If you like that type of humor and gutter language, you'll be fine.

For me, I found it funny. If you liked his first book and the TV show, you'll like his second. Thumbs up.

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12 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Funny but nowhere like the the first book.

Any additional comments?

Wanted more of his dad in the book. If was funny, but not want I was expecting.

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Not as good as Sh*t My Dad Says

Would you try another book from Justin Halpern and/or Sean Schemmel?

I'd still give Justin another shot just because I loved Sh*t my dad says so much

Would you listen to another book narrated by Sean Schemmel?

I might not. It was a little monotonous

Do you think I Suck at Girls needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

No. It tied itself up nicely.

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4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great story!

Where does I Suck at Girls rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

One of the funniest books I've purchased.

How could the performance have been better?

The voices for the alternate characters were hard to take. Some sounded very cliched and others sounded too much like very bad south park impressions. The voice for the main character was perfect and the father was okay, but everyone else was hard to take.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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The sequel is always less exciting

Would you try another book from Justin Halpern and/or Sean Schemmel?

Sure. The content is funny.

Would you be willing to try another book from Justin Halpern? Why or why not?

Sure, the stories are funny, but it seems like the best stuff made it into Sh*t My Dad Says.

What about Sean Schemmel’s performance did you like?

Does great voices, even though not accurate, they're funny

Do you think I Suck at Girls needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

Nope, this is the follow up book

Any additional comments?

Not as good as the previous book, but still ok.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Guy Lit, if there is such a thing, and excellent.

What was one of the most memorable moments of I Suck at Girls?

When the author enlists his 'friend' to help him conquer his fear of going into the canyon. That episode is an adolescent adventure worthy of Tom Sawyer. That unexpected sense of "victory or death" at its conclusion had me laughing out loud.

Any additional comments?

The theme that I, and I suspect many men, can relate to so easily is that of having great advice regularly pressed upon you, but without the ability to comprehend the advice until it's in hindsight. Halpern captures this perfectly, and you come away feeling like he told part of your story too.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious Listen

What did you love best about I Suck at Girls?

It's honest approach to his life and how his parents helped him cope with girls throughout his life.

What was one of the most memorable moments of I Suck at Girls?

There are many, but I loved the canyon and homeless guys story.

What about Sean Schemmel’s performance did you like?

Everything. He was hilarious.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

And you thought your parents were frank....

Any additional comments?

I got this book on a whim because I read that it was funny. It was a great look at what my generation of single people go through and how life shapes us all. There's so much love within this family, but it's expressed so vulgarly that it's funny. And you'll find yourself remembering your childhood and nodding along with the narrator.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Great Book but Too Short

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes, Same Humor as Sh*t my Dad says. I just wish there was more.

What other book might you compare I Suck at Girls to and why?

Sh*t my Dad says

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

LAUGH!

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

funny and endearing

I laughed and smiled all the way through the 4 hours and wished it was longer. And if dad is ever in need of a third wife, give him my number.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

HILARIOUS

I was regularly laughing while listening to this book!!! I recommend this to anyone who is looking for an easy book to get hooked on.

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1 person found this helpful