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Heads in Beds
- A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality
- Narrated by: Jacob Tomsky
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
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Publisher's summary
In the tradition of Kitchen Confidential and Waiter Rant, a rollicking, eye-opening, fantastically indiscreet memoir of a life spent (and misspent) in the hotel industry.
Jacob Tomsky has worked in hotels for more than a decade, doing everything from valet parking to manning the front desk. He's checked you in, checked you out, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room service, cleaned your toilet, denied you a late check out, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&Ms out of your mini-bar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. And in Heads in Beds, he pulls back the curtain on the hospitality business, revealing the crazy yet compelling reality of an industry we think we know. It is an incredibly funny, authentic, and irreverent chronicle of the highs and lows of hotel life and boy, is there a market for it: in 2010, the American lodging industry generated $127.7 billion in revenue. Prepare to be amused, shocked, and amazed as he spills the unwritten code of the bellhops, the antics that go on the valet parking garage, and the housekeeping department's dirty little secrets.
Prepare to be moved, too, by his insightful honesty about the profession; employees are often poorly paid and frequently abused. However, Heads in Beds is more than just a memoir. Jake explains the secrets of the industry, offering easy and legal ways to get what you need from your hotel without any hassle - from scoring late check-ins and upgrades to getting that pay-per-view charge knocked off your bill. This book will give you the knowledge you need to get the very best service from any hotel or property, from any business that makes its money from putting heads in beds. Or, at the very least, it will keep the bellhops from taking your luggage into the camera-free back office and stomping the crap out of it.
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Marshall Karp is an acclaimed playwright known for his witty sense of humor and crackling dialogue. His debut novel The Rabbit Factory stars the irreverent LAPD detective duo of Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs. Dean Lamaar is the architect of an entertainment empire and the creator of iconic characters like Rambunctious Rabbit and McGreedy the Moose.
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Bizarre but engaging mystery.1st-rate performance.
- By MidwestGeek on 12-19-12
By: Marshall Karp
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Single State of Mind
- By: Andi Dorfman
- Narrated by: Andi Dorfman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Andi Dorfman, breakout star of ABC's The Bachelorette and New York Times best-selling author of It's Not Okay, returns with this new collection of her adventures as a still-single gal surviving and thriving in New York City.
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Shallow
- By c63989 on 01-10-18
By: Andi Dorfman
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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This Could Hurt
- A Novel
- By: Jillian Medoff
- Narrated by: Andrea Gallo, Nick Podehl, Saskia Maarleveld, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Rosa Guerrero beat the odds as she rose to the top of the corporate world. An attractive woman of a certain age, the longtime chief of human resources at Ellery Consumer Research is still a formidable presence, even if her most vital days are behind her. A leader who wields power with grace and discretion, she has earned the devotion and loyalty of her staff. No one admires Rosa more than her doting lieutenant Leo Smalls, a benefits vice president whose whole world is Ellery.
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Awesome!
- By Donna D. Lewis on 02-05-18
By: Jillian Medoff
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What Doesn't Kill You
- By: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Narrated by: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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What Doesn't Kill You is the story of how Thomasina Hodges, a.k.a. Tee, loses her job and finds herself. Tee's evolution after her sudden and unexpected outplacement, is loosely based on the stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, relinquishing, readjusting, and reinvesting. For Tee, losing her job is like a death, but with time, and some bumps, bruises and a new attitude, she comes out on the other side, having reassessed what's important in her life.
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Excellent story
- By Doris Greene on 04-11-24
By: Virginia DeBerry, and others
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So Close
- By: Emma McLaughlin
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Amanda Beth Luker has spent her whole life desperately looking for someone who can show her the way out of her trailer park Florida town. And then, finally, help arrives - in the form of Tom Davis, a successful lawyer with political aspirations who grew up just a few towns over from Amanda. But it's his wife, Lindsay, who really captures Amanda's imagination. Strong, smart, and determined, she gives Amanda something she's never had: a role model.
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I've never been so mad at a book before.
- By Stacie on 06-15-16
By: Emma McLaughlin
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Gutshot Straight
- By: Lou Berney
- Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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When Charles "Shake" Bouchon, professional wheel man, walks out of prison after a three-year stretch for grand theft auto, he's got only two problems: he's too nice a guy for the life he's led and not nice enough for any other. So he says yes when he's asked to run a simple errand for his former boss and lover, Alexandra Ilandryan, the formidable pakhan of the Armenian mob in Los Angeles.
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A whole lotta fun.
- By Richard Delman on 04-12-12
By: Lou Berney
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Sucker Bet
- By: James Swain
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Tony Valentine is a retired Atlantic City cop and a master hunter of casino cheats, or "grifters." He has the talent to spot cheats over a casino's surveillance cameras from the moment they come off the street and begin to take a part in the action. Valentine IDs his prey and moves in for the kill.
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Interesting and entertaining
- By James on 06-11-04
By: James Swain
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
What listeners say about Heads in Beds
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Curtis
- 10-16-13
Entertaining
Great listen and well worth the credit. Not a family road trip book but it will make you laugh, as long as you don't get offended by tough language. I am glad the author did the narration because it would not have been the same coming from someone else.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Rnmedic1180
- 05-19-18
Great book
i I really enjoyed this book. It was humorous, informative and all-around enjoyable to listen to.
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- Mitch Mondor
- 03-05-21
Amazing!
As a former hospitality worker (bellmen/valet) this book is amazing. Relatable, and a great guide for the hotel guests!
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- Ryan L
- 07-01-16
Good audiobook about hotels, lots of insider info
Interesting tale of someone who worked in several departments of luxury/business hotels in New Orleans and New York -- from valet to housekeeping management to front desk. Some good content for frequent hotel guests seeking to maximize their experience (and learn more about the processes and politics within the hotel).
The audiobook is particularly good, as it was read by the author.
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- Anamchara
- 06-27-16
Entertaining & Informative.
Gotta baby brick for the next front desk agent who checks me in to my hotel.
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- avid rita
- 11-28-14
Lively, laughs, learned something.
What did you love best about Heads in Beds?
I value really good service in all parts of my life. This book offered valuable insights regarding how to express my appreciation for good service more effectively, for the benefit of the employee and for my own benefit. And nothing dry about the lessons learned: very colorful stories and anecdotes made this a page turner. The story did start to wear thin on me towards the last quarter, but then I have a short attentions span.
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- Allen
- 02-05-13
Loved it, funniest thing I've read in a long time!
Would you consider the audio edition of Heads in Beds to be better than the print version?
The audio version was great because the author himself read it, and he is a great orator. A real personal spin that adds to the book.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Heads in Beds?
I love cheap thrills, so the "after-shave/cologne" scenario left me laughing out load.
What about Jacob Tomsky’s performance did you like?
He is a great story teller and excellent speaker. Seems very comfortable with himself and that comes out in his narration.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
The book wasn't heavy, just entertaining in a cheap laugh's kind of way. Laughed out load a few times, funny, funny, funny!
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- Kim Powers
- 11-15-19
Hilarious and helpful!
As a frequent traveler, I can’t help but see hotels in a whole new light. Thank you “Tommy” for teaching me how to tip! Whole new worlds of service are opening up. And thank you for making me laugh out loud!
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- Oscar
- 01-02-19
Great story
Loved it! Couldn't stop listening to it. Full of fun stories and industry insight that you can't stop listening to
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- M. A. Jones
- 07-06-16
If you've EVER stayed in a hotel...
This highly entertaining book gives a good insight into the machinations behind a hotel's front desk. The narrator, who is also the author, does a terrific job of moving it along and making you want to find out what the heck could happen next. Educational as well as amazing, he lets you know what you should never do, plus what you can get away with. Fast paced and fun, this book gets a strong recommendation from me. Give it a try!
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