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Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality | [Jacob Tomsky]

Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality

Jacob Tomsky has worked in hotels for more than a decade, doing everything from valet parking to manning the front desk. He's checked you in, checked you out, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room service, cleaned your toilet, denied you a late check out, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&Ms out of your mini-bar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. And in Heads in Beds, he pulls back the curtain on the hospitality business.
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Publisher's Summary

In the tradition of Kitchen Confidential and Waiter Rant, a rollicking, eye-opening, fantastically indiscreet memoir of a life spent (and misspent) in the hotel industry.

Jacob Tomsky has worked in hotels for more than a decade, doing everything from valet parking to manning the front desk. He's checked you in, checked you out, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room service, cleaned your toilet, denied you a late check out, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&Ms out of your mini-bar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. And in Heads in Beds, he pulls back the curtain on the hospitality business, revealing the crazy yet compelling reality of an industry we think we know. It is an incredibly funny, authentic, and irreverent chronicle of the highs and lows of hotel life and boy, is there a market for it: in 2010, the American lodging industry generated $127.7 billion in revenue. Prepare to be amused, shocked, and amazed as he spills the unwritten code of the bellhops, the antics that go on the valet parking garage, and the housekeeping department's dirty little secrets.

Prepare to be moved, too, by his insightful honesty about the profession; employees are often poorly paid and frequently abused. However, Heads in Beds is more than just a memoir. Jake explains the secrets of the industry, offering easy and legal ways to get what you need from your hotel without any hassle - from scoring late check-ins and upgrades to getting that pay-per-view charge knocked off your bill. This book will give you the knowledge you need to get the very best service from any hotel or property, from any business that makes its money from putting heads in beds. Or, at the very least, it will keep the bellhops from taking your luggage into the camera-free back office and stomping the crap out of it.

©2012 Jacob Tomsky (P)2012 Random House Audio

What the Critics Say

"Jacob Tomsky is a star. The kid writes like a dream. Heads in Beds is hilarious, literate, canny, indignant and kind - revealing an author who manages somehow to be both a total hustler and a complete humanitarian. I love this book. Keep an eye on this writer. I'm telling you, he's a star." (Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (530 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Valerie 03-31-13
    Valerie 03-31-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Insightful ~ but why so many f-bombs?"
    This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

    Someone who would take less offense at the vulgarity, f-bombs, and crude language.


    Would you ever listen to anything by Jacob Tomsky again?

    Not likely.


    Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Jacob Tomsky?

    No opinion.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Heads in Beds?

    Language would be my focus.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    AMO's Momma New Hampshire 03-24-13
    AMO's Momma New Hampshire 03-24-13 Member Since 2012
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    4
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    "My travel experience will forever be changed."
    Where does Heads in Beds rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    After Bossy Pants by Tina Fey and David Rakoff's works, this was a favorite.


    What about Jacob Tomsky’s performance did you like?

    He fairly took on the gritty and the great of working in the hospitality industry.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lynn Channelview, TX, United States 03-11-13
    Lynn Channelview, TX, United States 03-11-13 Member Since 2014
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    "Not what I expected"

    When I found this audiobook and read the title, I thought it was an expose` of hotels--all the little particulars of making rooms ready for strangers. Only a few minutes into the narrative I realized I was completely wrong. A few more minutes and I was hooked--the protagonist begins the book as a hapless valet at a moderate New Orleans hotel. The book chronicles his rise to front desk, through a move to New York, and dreams of a larger life. It can be surprisingly sad in parts--remembering his friends in New Orleans post-Katrina, but laugh out loud funny in others (I'll NEVER forget the guest with the brown paper bag). The reader has the advantage of being the author, so he knows exactly where to delight and surprise the listener. To me, wanting something different, this book was exactly right, even though it was nothing like I thought.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Karen Maple Ridge, BC 03-05-13
    Karen Maple Ridge, BC 03-05-13 Member Since 2014
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    "Funny and informative..."

    This book is a million times better than "Waiter Rant." It's smart, funny, and tells me more than I want to know about the hospitality industry.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    JACK RENO, NEVADA, United States 02-25-13
    JACK RENO, NEVADA, United States 02-25-13 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Hotels - The Real Story"
    What made the experience of listening to Heads in Beds the most enjoyable?

    Its just darn funny.


    What other book might you compare Heads in Beds to and why?

    A behind the scenes look.


    Which character – as performed by Jacob Tomsky – was your favorite?

    Tommy - the writer and narrator


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    I have done many of the things observed in the book. So embarrassing.


    Any additional comments?

    A fun read

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bonnie 02-24-13
    Bonnie 02-24-13 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Are you an UGLY American? – remember the book"

    Worth reading because it does give some insight and it is funny but if you have not learned to tip and if you are a jerk, you REALLY need to read this because then you truly are an “ugly American” even in the US.

    For the rest of us who know how to treat people (and it has nothing to do with traveling – could be eating out) it is just somewhat insightful and funny.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Solitude1984 Canada 02-21-13
    Solitude1984 Canada 02-21-13

    Dreamer

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    "I had a feeling this one was going to be great!!"

    Highly recommend this book!! Well written, funny, and interesting! It will definitely change the way I behave in hotels! I love inside perspectives such as this, it really puts a human face on an industry and makes you appreciate the people working there.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    TV Lover Phoenix, AZ 02-12-13
    TV Lover Phoenix, AZ 02-12-13
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    "What I should have expected"
    Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

    Not a whole lot of surprises in the hotel business. There are a few tips on things you can do to improve your stay at a hotel, mostly, tip the hell out of everyone. And some obvious reasons not to piss off people who work at hotels. There was a story that tied it all together, but it was pretty redundant and not that interesting.


    How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

    Not sure a non-fiction book about working in the hotel industry could be made to seem much better


    Have you listened to any of Jacob Tomsky’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    None.


    Did Heads in Beds inspire you to do anything?

    Tip more at hotels - although I'm not sure it helps. I think that the people this book will likely help more than anyone will be hotel employees who may get a few more tips from readers who buy into any truth to the book.


    Any additional comments?

    Kind of a dissappointment. If you read the articles written about this book, you pretty much got all the inside tips you are going to get.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jodi Oak Park, IL, United States 02-05-13
    Jodi Oak Park, IL, United States 02-05-13 Member Since 2014
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    "Might be one of my all-time favorite audiobooks"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    Yes! I've already reccomended it. It was funny, the subject matter was fresh and it made me feel a lot better about my own job. Plus I learned some tips that I'll use during my limited travels. I'm going to be passing out the baby bricks.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Heads in Beds?

    There were too many laugh out loud moments. The most memorable though was hearing the extent to which the author tried to provide customer service--an amazing level of service that I think any company would be delighted to see--only to see management try to manage him out of a job. Sad times for the service industry.


    Have you listened to any of Jacob Tomsky’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    No--has he written anything else? I'd listen.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    It really made me laugh. He has a great speaking style and really paints an interesting picture of the many colorful characters he encountered.


    Any additional comments?

    I only got this book because Dan Savage reccomended it and I was like "if Dan says so I'll try it." I would never have picked it up otherwise. It was such a great book though. I was worried at first that it would make me never want to stay at a hotel because I thought it might be filled with tales of bed bugs and germs, but I was plesantly surprised. I've always known that that is a tough job to be in, but I have even more respect for hotel staff now. I was always a good tipper before but now I am really going to be a "hitter" as Tommy would say.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Paul Centerville, OH, United States 02-05-13
    Paul Centerville, OH, United States 02-05-13 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "OK, I get it"
    Any additional comments?

    This one's like the waiter rant. The workers are frustrated and angry. The only way out is to give them money and even then it never seems to be enough. I learned a lot seeing it from the other side, the story and the performance were well done, but I don't ever want to go to a hotel or a restaurant again.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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