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Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality | [Jacob Tomsky]

Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality

Jacob Tomsky has worked in hotels for more than a decade, doing everything from valet parking to manning the front desk. He's checked you in, checked you out, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room service, cleaned your toilet, denied you a late check out, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&Ms out of your mini-bar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. And in Heads in Beds, he pulls back the curtain on the hospitality business.
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Publisher's Summary

In the tradition of Kitchen Confidential and Waiter Rant, a rollicking, eye-opening, fantastically indiscreet memoir of a life spent (and misspent) in the hotel industry.

Jacob Tomsky has worked in hotels for more than a decade, doing everything from valet parking to manning the front desk. He's checked you in, checked you out, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room service, cleaned your toilet, denied you a late check out, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&Ms out of your mini-bar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. And in Heads in Beds, he pulls back the curtain on the hospitality business, revealing the crazy yet compelling reality of an industry we think we know. It is an incredibly funny, authentic, and irreverent chronicle of the highs and lows of hotel life and boy, is there a market for it: in 2010, the American lodging industry generated $127.7 billion in revenue. Prepare to be amused, shocked, and amazed as he spills the unwritten code of the bellhops, the antics that go on the valet parking garage, and the housekeeping department's dirty little secrets.

Prepare to be moved, too, by his insightful honesty about the profession; employees are often poorly paid and frequently abused. However, Heads in Beds is more than just a memoir. Jake explains the secrets of the industry, offering easy and legal ways to get what you need from your hotel without any hassle - from scoring late check-ins and upgrades to getting that pay-per-view charge knocked off your bill. This book will give you the knowledge you need to get the very best service from any hotel or property, from any business that makes its money from putting heads in beds. Or, at the very least, it will keep the bellhops from taking your luggage into the camera-free back office and stomping the crap out of it.

©2012 Jacob Tomsky (P)2012 Random House Audio

What the Critics Say

"Jacob Tomsky is a star. The kid writes like a dream. Heads in Beds is hilarious, literate, canny, indignant and kind - revealing an author who manages somehow to be both a total hustler and a complete humanitarian. I love this book. Keep an eye on this writer. I'm telling you, he's a star." (Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (416 )
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Performance
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  •  
    purplecubby 06-19-14
    purplecubby 06-19-14
    ratings
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    7
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    "Great story just vulgar"
    Would you try another book from Jacob Tomsky and/or Jacob Tomsky?

    Not so sure, if he smooth out the cussing then I might be interested.


    What did you like about the performance? What did you dislike?

    I have to say there are some accuracies with the book and yes there are points in the book that I am ashamed it happens in the hotel industry and makes you not feel alone with those thoughts. but I couldn't finish the book because of the vulgarity of words he chose. Yes there are people out there that cuss when they talk but that is not the majority.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jeffrey 03-16-14
    Jeffrey 03-16-14 Member Since 2013
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    "Hugely Entertaining and the perfectly narrated"
    Where does Heads in Beds rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    This audiobook is in my top 5. I love memoirs and biography and this nails it. The narration by the author is, probably, one of THE BEST audiobook performances I've had the pleasure of listening to in a long while. It's spot on done to the vernacular used by people of color or creed often helping us in the hospitality industry to the author's own use of language through his life and career. This is an insanely honest and spot on portrayal of the author's experience and life within the industry and life he has led.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Heads in Beds?

    The author's narration in total. Mesmerizing. Perfect! One of the best performances. It's almost radio drama the way he masterfully narrates his own memoir here.


    Which character – as performed by Jacob Tomsky – was your favorite?

    All of them.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    His moments of personal reflection on his life and where his career was going or the realization that his career may be "stuck" in an industry which he wholeheartedly embraces.


    Any additional comments?

    This is THE KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL of the hotel and hospitality industry. I can only hope to see this guy on the travel channel or CNN breaking into an amazing career as a storyteller and someone that shares his experiences in the hotel industry around the world much like Bourdain did after Kitchen Confidential revealed, in such amazing literary style, the life led by those we most often encounter but most often take for granted in the service industries.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kevin EAST POINT, GA, United States 01-12-14
    Kevin EAST POINT, GA, United States 01-12-14
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    "Humor packed and full of truth!!!"
    What did you love best about Heads in Beds?

    Heads in beds was terrific listen. The author hit every the hospitality industry right on the head. I was very insight from both a guest persecutive and even more as hotel professional. Must have for any hospitality person!


    Which character – as performed by Jacob Tomsky – was your favorite?

    TOM (the narrator) was my favorite character.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    This book had me rolling.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Michael Cleveland, OH, United States 12-12-13
    Michael Cleveland, OH, United States 12-12-13 Member Since 2010

    Michael Ruhlman, writer, cook

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Not only hugely entertaining, but useful!"

    This was an unexpectedly delightful listen. Great great stories told with humor and laced valuable hotel info I will be sure to use. The author's reading is flawless, his accents and impressions perfect. Jacob Tomsky is one talented (and very funny) motherfucker.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    N 12-08-13
    N 12-08-13
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    "A peek behind the scenes"

    A first hand account of the inner workings of the Hotel industry. It's funny, informative, and a little scary if you spend any time in hotels.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Yettie805 Some AFB in Some where in the world. 12-02-13
    Yettie805 Some AFB in Some where in the world. 12-02-13 Member Since 2012

    Dickiepoo

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    7
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    "Outstanding..."
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    I worked at a 5 diamond 4 star Hilton hotel for 8 years, and this book is spot on. My favorite part is how accurate the exchanges between the staff are. I am telling you all, that is really what it is like.


    What other book might you compare Heads in Beds to and why?

    My life.


    What does Jacob Tomsky bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    He tells it like it is, and he does so with grace.


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

    Best Movie Ever


    Any additional comments?

    Its awesome.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kimberly Denver, CO, United States 11-05-13
    Kimberly Denver, CO, United States 11-05-13 Member Since 2013
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    "Hillarious, Honest, and Insightful Book"
    What did you love best about Heads in Beds?

    I work in the hotel industry. I spent 2 years in the front office before going into event planning. Everything he says rings true and honest!


    What about Jacob Tomsky’s performance did you like?

    Yes, it's great when books are author read. He brings so much life to the stories.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes, and I practically did! It was the only time I didn't mind rush hour :-)


    Any additional comments?

    Heads in Beds is a great memoir about the goings on in hotels. It's funny and truthful. For people like me, who works in this business, it's great to know that all hotels have guests and associates like the characters in his book. For hotel guets, it's nice book to expose the hotel industry for all that it's worth :)

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Brenda Liberty Township, OH, United States 08-26-13
    Brenda Liberty Township, OH, United States 08-26-13

    I am a mother of two adult children and married to a wonderful man. I am a full time Realtor who enjoys historical fiction.

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    "No Wonder He's Stuck In His Job"
    What would have made Heads in Beds better?

    If the writer could have given advice for travelers other than pay up and hand over money for the privilege of walking into the hotel. Plus the crude stories of stealing from rooms, cars and using cologne in guests baths as a urinal to get back for their non tipping, told more of his character and those he chose to surround himself with. This is not a help book for traveling and avoiding pitfalls or saving money. It is a story about someone who because greedy and bored with his life, and drinks the spare time away.


    Would you ever listen to anything by Jacob Tomsky again?

    No absolutely not.


    Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Jacob Tomsky?

    This book doesn't even deserve to be in print.


    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    matthew san diego, CA, United States 08-23-13
    matthew san diego, CA, United States 08-23-13 Member Since 2008

    I am an English teacher in China and can now read and write some Chinese.I have been to 13 countries on 4 continents.I am an avid audiophile

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "The unglamorous life of a front desk jockey"

    I have a couple of friends that work in the hotel industry, and I can begin to understand them better now. It is a high pressure business that depends on employees conditioned to hustle tips for excellent service.I worked for Home Depot and was fed this talk for 20 years and we weren't allowed to accept tip.. Basically, the owner profits and the employees despite doing a fantastic job, are shafted by the management. I now believe fully in unions, since the author belonged to one and was defended effectively by the union.This was a great education on what politically correct language can be used on the public.It was also enlightening to learn that the front desk can really make or break your experience, since they know everything about the rooms and property. He teaches us how to dispute charged and raid the mini bar or movie service to our advantage.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    PT PA 08-11-13
    PT PA 08-11-13
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    "Very, Very Enjoyable"
    If you could sum up Heads in Beds in three words, what would they be?

    Well told stories.


    What did you like best about this story?

    It's not a comedy, but there were spots where I laughed out loud. More than a few. That's rare.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    There were a lot of good scenes. I suppose the end scene was most memorable.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Not necessarily. It was by nature episodic, but a nice balace between vignettes and the overall story. Very enjoyable reading. (I am a professional nonfiction writer myself.)


    Any additional comments?

    Highly recommended. Definitely in my Top Five for 2013 as of August.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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