When Lane Coolman's car is bashed from behind on the road to the Florida Keys, what appears to be an ordinary accident is anything but (this is Hiaasen!). Behind the wheel of the other car is Merry Mansfield - the eponymous Razor Girl - and the crash scam is only the beginning of events that spiral crazily out of control while unleashing some of the wildest characters Hiaasen has ever set loose.
"Still funny, not his best"
The world will end on Saturday. Next Saturday. Just before dinner, according to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655. The armies of Good and Evil are amassing and everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon are not actually looking forward to the coming Rapture. And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist.
"At long last!!"
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
After a long and eventful life, Allan Karlsson ends up in a nursing home, believing it to be his last stop. The only problem is that he's still in good health, and in one day, he turns 100. A big celebration is in the works, but Allan really isn't interested (and he'd like a bit more control over his vodka consumption). So he decides to escape. He climbs out the window in his slippers and embarks on a hilarious and entirely unexpected journey, involving, among other surprises, a suitcase stuffed with cash.
"Full of Surprises and Unexpected Events"
With a thriving parahuman accounting practice, a steady relationship, and a circle of trusted friends, Fred's undead life has become more enjoyable than his normal one ever was. Unfortunately it also seems that he's no longer the only vampire to appreciate the up-and-coming city of Winslow, Colorado. A new clan of vampires is moving in, and they aren't well known for tolerating outsiders in their territory.
"Yet another amazing score!"
A masterpiece of satire, this classic has entertained and enlightened readers the world over with its sly and ironic portrayal of human life from the vantage point of Screwtape, a highly placed assistant to "Our Father Below". At once wildly comic, deadly serious, and strikingly original, C. S. Lewis gives us the correspondence of the worldly-wise old devil to his nephew Wormwood, a novice demon in charge of securing the damnation of an ordinary young man. The Screwtape Letters is the most engaging and humorous account of temptation - and triumph over it - ever written.
"This is the Best Audio Screwtape, a Masterpiece"
Now, available in audio for the first time, Side Effects is narrated by Woody Allen himself. A humor classic by one of the world’s funniest writers, Side Effects is a treat for Allen fans and those just discovering how gifted he is. In classics including "Remembering Needleman", "The Kugelmass Episode", "Confessions of a Burglar", and others, Allen discusses such subjects as the nature of relativity, the UFO menace, and the predicament of modern man.
"Great short story writer"
Nicolas Fox, international con man, thief, and one of the top 10 fugitives on the FBI's most-wanted list, has been kidnapped from a beachfront retreat in Hawaii. What the kidnapper doesn't know is that Nick Fox has been secretly working for the FBI. It isn't long before Nick's covert partner, Special Agent Kate O'Hare, is in hot pursuit of the crook who stole her con man.
"Great addition to my Fox & O'Hare library!"
A notorious, international big-game hunter and his beautiful, former dental hygienist wife are gunned down at long range late one sweltering summer night, while swimming naked on their seaside estate in opulent Rancho Bonita, California. Police investigators are convinced that the killer is a strident, outspoken animal-rights activist, with both military experience and a criminal record. The evidence against him would appear overwhelming - until rumors begin to surface that others may have had their own reasons for committing murder.
"I'm a new fantastic of David Freed!"
Finding themselves permanently stuck in this strange new world, the gang tries to make the best of it by finding the nearest tavern and getting shitfaced. The plan goes just fine until they lose Katherine and Chaz.
"Low-brow nerd humor that I can't get enough of!"
Sienna Diaz is everyone's favorite "fat" funny lady. The movie studio executives can't explain it, but her films are out-grossing all the fit and trim headliners and Hollywood's most beautiful elite. The simple truth is, everyone loves plus-sized Sienna. But she has a problem: she can't read maps and her sense of direction is almost as bad as her comedic timing is stellar. Therefore, when Sienna's latest starring role takes her to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, she finds herself continually lost.
Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
"Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C"
The Zombie War came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity. Max Brooks, driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors from those apocalyptic years, traveled across the United States of America and throughout the world, from decimated cities that once teemed with upwards of 30 million souls, to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet.
"Brilliant production, criminally abridged"
Bernadette Fox is notorious. To her Microsoft-guru husband, she's a fearlessly opinionated partner; to fellow private-school mothers in Seattle, she's a disgrace; to design mavens, she's a revolutionary architect, and to 15-year-old Bee, she is a best friend and, simply, Mom.
Then Bernadette disappears. It began when Bee aced her report card and claimed her promised reward: a family trip to Antarctica. But Bernadette's intensifying allergy to Seattle - and people in general - has made her so agoraphobic that a virtual assistant in India now runs her most basic errands.
"One of my top 10 listens of the year!"
After discovering just how filled with magic, intrigue, and adventure the parahuman world of being an undead American can be, Fredrick Frankford Fletcher did exactly what was expected - he became a certified parahuman accountant. Myths and legends, as it turns out, are not so great at taking appropriate deductions and keeping their receipts, and Fred is more than happy to return to a life others view as woefully dull, expanding his accounting business to cater to various monsters.
After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.
"Blood, Guts and lots of laughs!"
Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more (except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdalan) and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.
"A Worthy Book, indeed"
Eleanor knows she's a mess. But today she will tackle the little things. She will shower and get dressed. She will have her poetry and yoga lessons after dropping off her son, Timby. She won't swear. She will initiate sex with her husband, Joe. But before she can put her modest plan into action - life happens. Today, it turns out, is the day Timby has decided to fake sick to weasel his way into his mother's company. It's also the day Joe has chosen to tell his office - but not Eleanor - that he's on vacation.
What's a little arson between friends? Undercover CIA agent Fortune Redding spent her first three weeks in Sinful, Louisiana, dodging insults, makeup advice, guard dogs, bullets, and Deputy Carter Trahan, both professionally and personally. But just when she thinks things are going to settle down in the small bayou town, someone sets her friend Ally's house on fire. Carter, who'd just started pursuing Fortune on a personal basis, goes back into cop mode and admonishes her to stay out of his investigation.
"One of the best series I have ever read"
Merciless, the Supervillain without Mercy (TM), is back with even bigger problems! How far will he go to fix his wife's current state of being a soulless vampire? Can he ignore his growing feelings for Cindy, despite their difference over the new Star Wars movie? Can he survive the wrath of the president of the United States (whom he accidentally stole billions from)?
"The story was ok but overall it was outstanding."
The junkie. The goth girl. The redneck. The nerd. The gangsta. The gay kid. The jock. The twins who can't even tell themselves apart. A loveable cast of walking clichés, out for a week in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. What could possibly happen? Murder, that's what! Who left that dead girl skewered on the porch, anyway? All are suspect, as the slayings become more and more ridiculous. Hell of a way to spend a vacation. Will they find out who the killer is in time to stop this madness, or will this mean the end for all?
Harry Fische and the crew of the Limburger are back in action, and they're out to take the cheese. The evil alien Sploig have stolen a whole cheese factory, cows and all, and taken it off planet Earth. There's nothing to do but load up the Jiffy Whip and go after the cheese rustlers! But how do you find an ancient race of shape-shifting aliens who make even the Farfnians look like technological troglodytes? The answer? Pick a nice Carpoolian with lots of money, and run for public office!
In the future, the only weapon against the evil aliens is a nice, sharp cheddar! The Farfnians rule the galaxy with an iron claw, and Earth has been relegated to a backwater planet. What's an ingenious human to do? Find a chink in the Farfnian's chitinous armor - cheese! Enter Harry Fische, captain of the stringship Limburger, and his intrepid crew.
Clinging tightly to their last shreds of high school angst and armed with nothing but big dreams, Clint and Zach sign a year lease with the simple goal of starting a killer band. Jobless, they soon have to acquire more roommates to help pay the rent. Told from several points of view, this dark comedy follows the adventures of lovable young miscreants who overrun Sunrise Terrace, a respectable apartment complex in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Fun, fearless, and full of heart, The Real Liddy James takes a fresh look at the balancing act every family performs. With the deft characterization and sharp wit that made her first novel an international best seller, Anne-Marie Casey invites us into the ambitions, passions, and misadventures of this extraordinary heroine.
David Federman has never felt appreciated. An academically gifted yet painfully forgettable member of his New Jersey high school class, the withdrawn, mild-mannered freshman arrives at Harvard fully expecting to be embraced by a new tribe of high-achieving peers. But, initially, his social prospects seem unlikely to change, sentencing him to a lifetime of anonymity. Then he meets Veronica Morgan Wells. Struck by her beauty, wit, and sophisticated Manhattan upbringing, David falls feverishly in love.
Last week, high-powered coffee buyer Amy O'Hara was trekking through the Ethiopian cloud forest on the verge of a discovery that could save the coffee bean from extinction. This week, she's unexpectedly fired. Suddenly Amy's days are no longer filled with meetings and upscale tastings, but with put-together PTA moms, puke-ridden playdates, and dirty dishes.
When new preschool parent Justine discovers that the man who broke her heart back in grad school is a dad in her daughter's class, she tells herself she's immune to the superficial charms of the ex she calls "the crapwizard". But when his presence opens a time tunnel of potent memories from her life before motherhood, she must find a way to defuse her old attraction to him before it undermines her marriage.
This is the third collection of short stories recounting the author's adventures as a member of the New Orleans Police Department. There are a few more stories thrown in to give the book a bit of variety. Humor is a very necessary component of police work and is inescapable in any genuine tales of police adventures.
Is it possible to freecycle love? Modern dating is hard, especially when all you meet are liars, oddballs, men who wear Superman pants and men who live with their mums. So why not date someone who already comes preapproved? Just because your friend's ex wasn't right for her doesn't mean that he won't be right for you. That's Marnie's new plan for herself and her three best friends - perennially single Helen, recently divorced Rosa and cynical lawyer Ani.
It's Zoe and Jack's first wedding anniversary party. They've got an announcement! They're getting divorced. Marriage isn't for everyone - something that Zoe and Jack discovered only after they'd walked down the aisle. Bad timing, huh? So now they're stuck together in their once harmonious marital home, neither one of them willing to move out of their lovely house. With Zoe's three sisters always wanting a say and Jack's best friend trying his best to fix things between them, misunderstandings arise. Tempers flare. 'Accidents' happen.
Everyone who meets her thinks they know Liddy James. A single mother of two, she is one of New York City's top lawyers (with the ruthless reputation and capsule wardrobe to match) and seems to juggle her complicated life with ease. Her work is all-consuming, her divorce was devastating, her sons are playing up and she's forgotten what more than five hours' sleep a night feels like, but still here she is, on top of the high wire. Until she isn't.
Wanted: NY apartment in exchange for a great Key West house with swimming pool. In February. Who wouldn't take a swap like that? Then again, if a deal seems too good to be true, it probably is, as Meg and Peter Kaplan soon discover. Heading south for a supposed dream vacation, what they find instead is a panic attack waiting to happen. Coconuts crash through windows, bearing cryptic death threats.
"everything that’s good about campy mobster stories"
When Lionel Savage, a popular poet in Victorian London, learns from his butler that they're broke, he marries the beautiful Vivien Lancaster for her money, only to find that his muse has abandoned him. Distraught and contemplating suicide, Savage accidentally conjures the devil - the polite "Gentleman" of the title - who appears at one of the society parties Savage abhors. The two hit it off: The devil talks about his home, where he employs Dante as a gardener; Savage lends him a volume of Tennyson.
"Well done Old Boy!"
Bigfoot and Frankenstein team up to terrorize the Wild West.
"Must read!! This is awesome. Epic western thriller"
Professional thief Jack Apple is fresh out of prison and planning one last heist before retiring from crime for good. When he finds $150,000 in cash in a bag by the side of the road, Jack thinks his run of bad luck has finally changed. But that's before Jack loses the $150,000 to a lonely old man named Donald who lives inside a high-walled, ramshackle fortress guarded by Butch, his dedicated English bulldog. Turns out, Jack's luck hasn't changed much at all.
Ripped apart by Portugal's financial crisis, Daniel's family is struggling to adjust to circumstances beyond their control. His wife and children move out to live with family hours away, but Daniel believes against all odds that he will find a job and everything will return to normal. Even as he loses his home, suffers severe damage to his car, and finds himself living in his old, abandoned office building, Daniel fights the realization that things have changed.
Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction) rocks this mock bedtime story, capturing a hilarious range of emotions as the voice of a father struggling to get his child to sleep. Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland.
"Read the F--king REVIEW!"
Emmy Award-winning actor Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcom in the Middle) follows in the exasperated footsteps of Samuel L. Jackson, giving voice to the long-suffering father whose indifferent child will just not eat in this hilarious follow-up to Adam Mansbach's international best seller, Go the F--k to Sleep.
"Another role that Bryan Cranston plays to a T."
Meet Rabo Karabekian, a moderately successful surrealist painter who we meet late in life and see struggling (like all of Vonnegut's key characters) with the dregs of unresolved pain and the consequences of brutality. Loosely based on the legend of Bluebeard (best realized in Bela Bartok's one-act opera), the novel follows Karabekian through the last events in his life that is heavy with women, painting, artistic ambition, artistic fraudulence, and as of yet unknown consequence.
"Still as great as I remember"
The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories is a hilarious addition to Patrick F. McManus’s existing work in humor. The author weighs in on his childhood, everyday life, and outdoor tales with his typical exaggerated commentary that will elicit a belly laugh from all types of listeners. Read about the antics of Patrick’s friends Rancid Crabtree and Retch Sweeney in such stories as “Shaping Up for the Hunt” and “Bear Hunters”, and much more!
"Humor to relate to."
Eugene Debs Hartke describes an odyssey from college professor to prison inmate to prison warden back again to prisoner in another of Vonnegut's bitter satirical explorations of how and where (and why) the American dream begins to die. Employing his characteristic narrative device - a retrospective diary in which the protagonist retraces his life at its end, a desperate and disconnected series of events here in Hocus Pocus show Vonnegut with his mask off and his rhetorical devices unshielded.
Two childhood friends from Scotland and two illegitimate half-brothers from the deep South suffer and enjoy all manner of bizarre adventures that, it turns out, are somehow interconnected and, even more surprisingly, meaningful. The eclectic cast of characters features Socrates, Carl Jung, and Tony Randall, along with an ex-television evangelist with a penchant for booze, prostitutes, and uncomfortable knitwear who gets mugged in Miami by an almost pure-blooded Watusi warrior - and sets off on a road trip in a stolen motor home.
"Hillarious and thought-provoking"
Woody Allen - writer, director, and actor - can now add narrator to his long list of achievements, as he’s teamed up with Audible to make his best-selling books available in audio for the very first time. The Woody Allen Collection, featuring four of his classic short-story books, highlights the comedian’s biting wit and signature style - performed as only he can. These hilarious stories examine the deepest of human questions from the highest heights of absurdity.
"Well worth the wait"
Claire is a 20-something, single mom who grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough money to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he's asleep) toddler a better life. When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time. With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim-to-none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.
Walter Starbuck, a career humanist and eventual low-level aide in the Nixon White House, is implicated in Watergate and jailed, after which he (like Howard Campbell in Mother Night) works on his memoirs. Starbuck is innocent (his office was used as a base for the Watergate shenanigans of which he had no knowledge), and yet he is not innocent (he has collaborated with power unquestioningly and served societal order all his life). He represents another Vonnegut Everyman caught amongst forces he neither understands nor can defend.
Deadeye Dick is Kurt Vonnegut's funny, chillingly satirical look at the death of innocence. Amid a true Vonnegutian host of horrors - a double murder, a fatal dose of radioactivity, a decapitation, an annihilation of a city by a neutron bomb - Rudy Waltz, aka Deadeye Dick, takes us along on a zany search for absolution and happiness. Here is a tale of crime and punishment that makes us rethink what we believe...and who we say we are.
The New York Times Book Review called Neal Stephenson's most recent novel "electrifying" and "hilarious". But if you want to know Stephenson was doing 20 years before he wrote the epic Cryptonomicon, it's back-to-school time. Back to The Big U, that is, a hilarious send-up of American college life starring 30-year-old junior Casimir Radon.
"Interesting, very strange"
Set a thousand years (give or take) before the events of Disenchanted, Distopia tells the story of Wyngalf the Bold, the legendary hero renowned for ridding the land of Dis of the scourge of dragons. The story begins as Wyngalf, a young missionary for an obscure religious sect, arrives in the port city of Skuldred. Desperate to prove his worth to his superiors, Wyngalf finds himself drafted into leading a missionary voyage across the sea to the semilegendary land of Dis.
"hilarious fantasy with clever characters & dragons"
Whether he is accidentally cooking his brain with hand warmers or yanking his lure away from a trophy fish just before it takes the bait, Bill Heavey can do no right. For almost a decade, he has chronicled his incompetence on the back page of Field & Stream, where his hilarious dispatches about life as a hapless outdoorsman who lives in suburbia have earned him legions of fans.
"it was alright"
A fabulously entertaining audiobook from the ultimate authority on those almost believable tales that always happen to a "friend of a friend". Alligators in the sewers? A pet in the microwave? A tragic misunderstanding of the function of cruise control? No, it didn't really happen to your friend's sister's neighbor: It's an urban legend. And no matter how savvy you think you are, you are sure to find in this collection of more than 200 tales at least one story you would have sworn was true.
"A good book to listen to over time."
Perhaps the most autobiographical (and deliberately least disciplined) of Vonnegut's novels, Slapstick (1976) is in the form of a broken family odyssey and is surely a demonstration of its eponymous title. The story centers on brother and sister twins, children of Wilbur Swain, who are in sympathetic and (possibly) telepathic communication and who represent Vonnegut's relationship with his own sister who died young of cancer almost two decades before the book's publication.