Twisted Humor

Make sure the kids aren’t around! Just because you’re a grown-up doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the art of the children’s bedtime story. Nick Offerman presents this collection of 12 short stories written in the style of a classic kids' tale, but with a decidedly dark and adult approach. What really happened after Snow White died, from the perspective of the one medically trained dwarf? A naive wizard professor reports back from the trenches of an underprivileged school of magic. And much more!

Witch vs. Mage: End Game In the thrilling conclusion to the quirky and charming Darkly Sweet series, Penny puts it all on the line for love, but sometimes, lines were made to be crossed. Drake can’t be what she needs, but his ego won’t let him back down without a fight. Conveniently, there are endless battles, the greatest one against his need to find a mop bucket with Penny Lane inside it. With mage contracts and Darksiders to juggle, (never kiss a Darksider) Penny and Drake will take on mayhem and paperwork, golf balls and heart-shaped shrapnel until Dayside and Darkside will never be...

If you like cozy mysteries with strong heroines, yummy food, lifelong friendships and plots that keep you guessing till the end, you will love the Pelican Cove Cozy Mystery Series. 44 year old Jenny King's suburban utopia comes crashing down when her husband dumps her for a younger model. Jenny accepts her eccentric aunt's offer and moves to the remote island of Pelican Cove. After moping around and licking her wounds for months, she starts working at the local cafe at her aunt's urging. Jenny's delicious food makes the small town famous. The rest is history. Jenny befriends a motley group ...

Jason tumbles into a quest to save a magical in this #1 New York Times bestselling start to Brandon Mull’s Beyonders fantasy series. Jason Walker has often wished his life could be a bit less predictable—until a routine day at the zoo ends with Jason suddenly transporting from the hippo tank...

Raised by vampyre relatives, Jane grows to resent the lifestyle's effect on her upbringing. No sunlight, nighttime hours, and a diet of bloody red meat is no way for a mortal girl to live. Things change for Jane when the ghost of her uncle visits her, imparts her parents' slayer history, and charges her with the responsibility of striking out to find others of her kind and learn the slayer ways.

All these highly praised stories were first published in national newspapers and magazines ( eg Punch, Sunday Times, London Evening News etc) and are now collected in book form for the first time. Many of the stories were published in the 1960s and 1970s. None are about Bilbury. Most (though not all) of these stories have a twist in the tale. Some have a medical flavour. Some are pure fiction. Some are autobiographical. Some are a mixture of all of these. Vernon Coleman is the author of over 100 books which have sold more than two million hardback and paperback copies in the UK and been ...

Cherian Morris never imagined she’d be racing against time to track down a man she barely remembers, all so she can finalize their divorce. JaKobi Alexander-Ibrahim never planned on getting married, and he certainly didn’t expect to discover he’d tied the knot with a complete stranger. Their accidental union leaves both of them stunned, reluctant, and unexpectedly drawn into each other’s orbit. Will Cherian find him, and will JaKobi be willing to let her go… Or will this unexpected marriage turn into A Twisted Love Story neither one of them saw coming… Note: 2 books in 1 This ...

As a C-Tier Lifeblade, Ethan keeps his head down, works hard, and always hits his mark. His skills might not be flashy, but they get the job done—and in SlayerCorp's cutthroat portal acquisitions industry, reliability makes you valuable. He’s built a solid rep as the go-to healer who can hold his own in any situation, with a resume that's earned him the respect and admiration of his peers. But Ethan's biggest challenge isn’t in the dungeons he clears or the creatures he fights. It’s Lily Chen.

Theft, extortion, homicide — there’s no end to the talents of the new men in photographer Sonny Littlefield’s life. Ever since she moved to the strawberry and sheep farm that she inherited from her biological father, her problems have been piling up: her cousins keep robbing her house, she’s rapidly going broke, and she hasn’t had a date in months. Her top priority is figuring out who left a skeleton hand and threatening note in her ramshackle barn. Somebody in Gracious, Maine, is turning human remains into playthings, and it’s all Sonny can do to keep from ending up a pile of ...

Curiouser and Curiouser... Arrietty Lovecraft managed to get to Underland, but now she has to face a seriously mad death dragon, a bloodthirsty vampire rabbit, and worst of all, tea with Teddy's mother who is more eager to give her a contract than the death dragon. Whether a killing contract or a marriage contract, that's not Arrietty's cup of tea, but try telling the famous poisons mistress that. Of course the Spider of Underland is weaving his web, twisting minds and turning hearts against her so she has to rely on her own shifty contacts if she's going to manage to eat six impossible ...

Arrietty in Underland, A Warped Alice in Wonderland Reimagining. First book in a new standalone series in the Darkly Sweet world! Arrietty Lovecraft, Penny’s hacker, put all her unhealthy and unethical adventures behind her and is a quiet potions witch in Darkside until a killer with her face, her tech, and her genetics frames her for a murder and a kidnapping. The Dragonlord of Death comes with a deal, and while Arrietty knows better than to make a deal with death or a dragon, someone has to rescue her good friend from the Spider of Underland before she becomes another mad inhabitant of ...

Quench your thirst for drama, mystery, humor, romance, and fantasy with 25 short stories, each with a twist the reader won’t see coming. If you hadn’t had a drink or two before you read this book, you will need it afterwards. With stories ranging from four hundred to seven thousand words, this collection has something for everyone. Audrey is pregnant by someone other than her husband. Renee left the scene of a fatal hit-and-run accident. Barbara’s hook-up with an Internet stranger goes too far. What is Crystal’s secret? How will a jealous girlfriend, a skeptical husband, and an ...

Brimming with dark humor, violence, and mystery, The Autumn Springs Retirement Home Massacre is a blood-soaked slasher sure to keep listeners guessing until the very end. This program is read by January LaVoy, seven-time Audie Award–winner, Grammy nominee and AudioFile Golden Voice. "[Narrator...

A workhouse orphan, Oliver experiences the terror and brutality of the criminal underworld. His companions, a thief, a whore, a pickpocket, and a fence, are destined for gruesome ends, but Oliver emerges unscathed from the darkness of the underworld.

Rescue dogs. Ruthless secrets. Nobody fakes a heart attack this well. Former wedding planner Kelsey Woods comes home for a fresh start, trading seating charts for pastry dough at Aunt Clara’s Comfy Café. With a major dog showcase about to flood Carlyle Cove, she whips up the café’s famous doggie treats, ready to impress the crowds. Then a crotchety dog show judge spends the weekend picking fights and collapses dead in public. Everyone calls it “just his heart.” Kelsey disagrees. The pill bottle she saw him using did not look right. With retired detective Elinor Brooks at her side,...

Six impossible things... Impossible #1: Arrietty Lovecraft lost Teddy in Underland, so now she has to rescue him from the Spider of Underland. No one comes back once the Spider gets them. Ever. Impossible #2: She'll need the help of the death dragon, the one that would rather rip Teddy's heart out than save him. Because that's what she did the last time she showed up. Did I say impossible? Also suicidal. Impossible #3: Maddox, the only mage desperate enough to work with her is her ride to Underland. Odds are that he'll betray her again. Sure, let's trust him. Impossible #4: The Angel of ...

Should he be hanged or transported? The Artful Dodger is the best pick-pocket in England, a one-person crime wave. Although only a child, he seems certain to face the noose. But, to everyone’s surprise but his own, he escapes this fate and is transported to Australia. There he falls prey to Fred Crimp, a disfigured and vicious criminal who Dodger thinks vaguely familiar. His quick wits save him, and life begins to look better as he discovers there are easier ways to get rich than by picking pockets. But back in London, the peril becomes more deadly and his life at risk. In order to elude ...

From the author of The Undertaking of Hart and Mercy comes a new heartwarming fantasy rom-com with an opposites-attract twist set in the delightful, donut- and dragon-filled world of Tanria. Immortal demigod Rosie Fox has been patrolling Tanria for decades, but lately, the job has been losing...

Meg Butler sets sail on the Grand Voyager on a luxury world cruise, eager to visit 30 countries before she's 30. But she hasn't planned on running into murder! The ship is hosting a Bingo tournament for the length of the cruise. Several passengers are competing for the grand prize which is rumored to be in six figures. Meg runs into a friendly older man who boasts of being a skilled player. He has developed a fool proof strategy that is guaranteed to win him big money. Meg is warmed by his affectionate manner toward her and feels he is the father figure she has always yearned for. Disaster ...

A young couple's toxic Instagram crush spins out of control and unleashes a sinister creature in this twisted, viciously funny story. "Um, holy shit ... This novel will be the most fun you'll have this summer." —Emily Temple, Literary Hub Remy and Alicia, a couple of insecure service workers...