Funny Religious

Teach your child patience !!! "You forgot the mail?!?!" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. The forest monsters woke up & there was a sign on the tree. They had been invited to the Monster King’s birthday party. Everyone would ...

Teaching Kids the Importance of Sleep * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * At night when most kids were dozing so deep, Michael could never quite manage to sleep. His mother would read him one book, or two, His father would sing ‘till his face turned blue, All-day Michael ran and played and kicked ball, But then he’d just shrug: “I’m not tired at all.” Real-life issue/Imaginary Tale - Great Lesson! I learned about this cute little rhyming book on FB, and I decided to download it using the kindle app on my phone, and I'm glad that I did. What a fun book to cozy up with a child for a ...

Four children's Great books, all rolled into one. best for bedtime stories beginner / early reader poetry for kids. best animals stories, value tales

Pet peeves been trailing mud all over your nice, bright outlook? Let Chonda Pierce help you clean up your attitude with a little deep-cleansing, sparkling-fresh humor! This comedian, singer, and preacher's daughter has a knack for finding merriment in those little things that can drive anyone...

Shy and socially awkward Fitzwilliam Darcy may finally have a chance to impress Elizabeth Bennet, the woman who he has spent years pining over. If only she didn’t hate him... Mr. Darcy never expected to fall in love. Especially after being blackmailed into a marriage. Unfortunately, he falls in love with Miss Bennet instead of his wife. In an effort to protect his heart, he has spent several years avoiding Miss Bennet and pushing her away, which hasn’t been easy considering they share a brother-in-law. But when he loses his wife in a tragic accident, Miss Bennet moves into his home to ...

Christmas stories Stories Collection ******************* Young and beginner reader’s kids would get the most enjoyment from the tree titles for Christmas we selected In We hope you enjoy reading them to your kids, grandchildren. SEA OF LOVE <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 Just off by the sea in a small shabby shack, Lived Sarah’s whole family, a big crowded pack, Two parents, three brothers, and three sisters, too; With less room inside as all the kids grew. OH DEAR SAID THE DEER ************************************* "Oh dear," said the deer, "I'm so cold, what a plight! I've searched for a...

A sapphic bookstore romance about fresh starts and finding that one person who feels like home. "Snappy, smart, and endlessly swoon-worthy, With Stars In Her Eyes is a front-row ticket to a love story that’s impossible to put down." - Karelia Stetz-Waters, author of Behind the Scenes...

Encounter the dynamic presence of God as you learn from pastor and author J. D. Greear how to more fully experience the Holy Spirit within you. Jesus gave his disciples the audacious promise that the Spirit he would send to live inside them would be even better than if he himself remained beside...

Todd Heller is an arrogant ER physician who stubbornly denies the existence of God. A ministering angel forces him back in time to the harsh, primitive culture of ancient Israel so he can witness the miracles of Jesus with his own eyes. Meticulously researched for historical accuracy, this plot is woven into the gospel account of the final year of Christ’s ministry. Christians who fantasize about going back in time to witness the miracles of Jesus will enjoy the realistic depiction of life in ancient Israel as experienced from a 21st century mentality. This novel is the sequel to The ...

Everything is all Doug’s fault. The Horn of Destiny is missing from the Seraphim Symphonic practice room and the Apocalypse is set to begin prematurely. He always was a clumsy GA-1 (Guardian Angel First Degree). No wonder he never got promoted. Now the fate of the world rests in the hands of his human client, a mentally unstable trumpet player named Steve who takes all his advice from his pet cat Smokey. Oh, and someone on earth had the bright idea to run the dreaded Horn of Destiny through a 3-D printer and sell copies on eBay. God help us all!

He’s a comedian. He’s a YouTube sensation. And now he becomes an author. Best known for his song parodies and riffs on yoga pants and homeschooling, Tim Hawkins now shares his perspective on life in the 21st century in his long-awaited debut book. Tim's topics are as wide-ranging as his...

The spirit of a warrior lies deep inside a bard. Deep down. Way, way down. Jonas wakes up each day regretting his position as the king’s bard. He dreams of escaping the kingdom and returning to life as a traveling musician with his best friend Elrick. But when his love Bree is taken prisoner in the castle, he and Elrick must act. Their attempts at rescue go horribly wrong, and the king marks them for death. Now they must flee the kingdom with a hefty reward on their heads. Meanwhile, the king’s soldiers march to war, placing Bree’s hometown in their path of destruction. Jonas must go ...

Welcome to Heaven, Inc., the grossly mismanaged corporation in the sky. For as long as anyone can remember, the founder and CEO (known in some circles as "God") has been phoning it in. Lately, he's been spending most of his time on the golf course. And when he does show up at work, it's not to...

Midsommar meets Fear Street in this modern, sea-soaked folk horror debut about fighting to survive, and fighting to be yourself. Seventeen-year-old Lindsay Weinberg has just gotten kicked out of another prep school, and has consequently found herself shipped to her Uncle Levi's farm in the cold...

♥ Wheel Power ♥ Little Wheely rolled round and round, all on his own he spun on the ground. Wheels had a purpose, except for him, which is why he felt sad and so grim. ◆ All his friends were wheels too, yet they all had something to do. He watched them roll all night and day, all very busy – rushing on their way.

Bloomsbury presents I Drink Therefore I Am by Roger Scruton, read by Kris Dyer. Here Scruton explains the connection between good wine and serious thought with a heady mix of humour and philosophy. We are familiar with the medical opinion that a daily glass of wine is good for the health and...

El tío Manuel se despertó una mañana de mal humor, La alarma de su reloj lo molestó por el ruido abrumador. Gritó: “¡Cállate, reloj!” y agitó su puño fuertemente, Presionó el botón de APAGADO de forma insolente.

Two flag cakes. One body. Zero control. Father Ben Murphy's Fourth of July fireworks show was supposed to raise money for a good cause. Instead it raised a murder investigation, a juvenile detention situation, and serious questions about the structural integrity of the rectory rhododendron. Out with a Bang is the second Father Ben Murphy mystery — funny, warm, and set in the kind of small Midwestern parish where everyone knows your business, the church ladies run everything, and the priest is always the last to know.

The North Wind and the Sun ******************************* " One day in late spring with the sun shining strong She announced to the North Wind, “You do not belong!” “It’s time you must leave, so things can get hot.” But the North Wind said simply, “Oh, no, I will not.” ********** About Aesop’s Fables ****** Who was Aesop, and why are his fables famous all over the world? In fact, very little is known about this mysterious Ancient Greek figure. He is thought to have been a slave originally from Africa, but even that isn’t known for certain. But his stories, with their ...

What Catholic guy made money as an organ-grinder's assistant, spent one-on-one time with John Paul II, met a very nice Thai prostitute, and confessed his sins on a beanbag chair? Lino Rulli, of course!