Funny Alien

Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself. And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.

Most parents dread the day their kids grow up and meet life head-on as adults. Significantly fewer moms watch their kids leap across dimensions to save a friend from a devouring evil. It's okay though, mostly. Samantha Moon has a case to keep her mind occupied while her daughter is off doing her thing. It’s not as if Tammy is completely helpless. Crazy thing about being part of a magical bloodline... it passes down to the next generation. With Elizabeth's influence over the family gone for good, the younger Moon is coming into her own as a force to be reckoned with. Sam probably can’t ...

NINE OVER-THE-TOP INSANE INSTALOVE STANDALONES IN ONE WILD BUNDLE! THIS IS INSTA-LOVE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN . . . ANNABELLE WINTERS STYLE! THIS BOX SET CONTAINS: THE TEACHER AND THE TRAINER (97 pages) THE LIBRARIAN AND THE COP (98 pages) THE LAWYER AND THE COWBOY (96 pages) THE PRINCESS AND THE PIRATE (80 pages) THE CEO AND THE SOLDIER (98 pages) THE ASTRONAUT AND THE ALIEN (99 pages) THE QUILTER AND THE QUARTERBACK (117 pages) THE BOTANIST AND THE BIKER (131 pages) THE PSYCHIC AND THE SENATOR (77 pages) AND EACH BOOK CONTAINS: OVER-THE-TOP STEAM! (Yes, we're going there . . . ;)) OVER-THE...

A KID'S BOOK, BY A KID! THIS VERSION IS REVISED TO TAKE OUT A LITTLE OF THE CRAZY Delia and her younger brother Jake fall through a tunnel in time and wind up in the past. They soon realize that all the houses in their neighborhood are gone. The people living in the one house they see are aliens! Adding to the confusion, both the kids and the aliens find themselves using weird words like derfelbocker and nogginbreath. Will Jake and Delia be able to find their way home?! Will Jake and Delia be able to find their way home?! Will Jake and Delia be able to find their way home?!

All his life, twelve-year-old Ben Grishop has been practically nonexistent. Hardly anyone knows who he is, he’s not good at anything no matter how hard he tries, and he blends into all chairs and benches. But when he and his friends Joe and Dana are abducted by aliens one fateful summer night, they have the chance to become famous for saving the universe. That is, if they can survive a planet full of giant, man-eating, French-speaking crabs, a pair of tuxedoed, gibberish-spouting men with handlebar mustaches, and the mysterious “immensely powerful, evil force from The Realm Beyond." ...

A new species has jumped into the Sol system for a quick look, leading the Stryx to assign humans to the greeting mission. Dorothy and Kevin leave on a trading mission in his new ship, bringing the dog, and Samuel and Vivian start at the Open University.

I never believed in UFOs—until I found one in my backyard… Alex is just a normal guy who works at a computer repair shop and dreams away his life. That is, until one day, he literally stumbles across a hidden spaceship. Together with his best friends, Joey and Lucy, he explores the vessel. They find the pilot dead, but the sentient ship AI is very much alive—and she needs their help. The friends decide to embark on an adventure into the unknown. Soon, they find themselves on a crazy ride through space, facing aliens, pirates, smugglers, and humorless space authorities… Will Alex and...

Trunk Line: The Director’s Cut Trunk Line: Book One - Tales of the Orion Spur Captain Tim Symbles has one goal: haul a load, get paid, avoid trouble. But trouble? It has other plans. When the Astra—Tim’s barely functional freighter— crash-lands on the remote planet of Chatsmic after a jump drive malfunction, the crew finds themselves stranded without fuel, communications, or any chance of a quiet exit. Worse, the planet is a bureaucratic nightmare with a holiday for every day of the week and a planetary defense system that shoots first and never checks voicemail. What begins as a ...

When UFO-obsessed shop owner Darla Vega drags her fashion-obsessed best friend Ronnie to the annual alien convention, they expect cosplay, conspiracy theories, and maybe a glow-in-the-dark milkshake. What they don’t expect is to stumble into a murder. When a rival podcaster drops dead inside a UFO display, Darla, Ronnie, and her snarky pup Cosmo must navigate galactic gossip, themed motel rooms, and a pile of eccentric suspects before the killer probes again—a quirky, cozy mystery packed with laughs, latex, and lethal podcast drama.

An alien cat turned me into a superweapon. I was homeless on the streets of Third York when it happened. Then the military arrived and gave me a choice. Enlist or die. The next thing I knew, I was fighting giant robots at the Xenoforce Academy's boot camp. Figuring out superpowers and energy levels was hard enough, but I had to deal with a mind-reading alien princess, a team of gorgeous women, and a femme fatale in charge of the whole operation. Oh, and a galactic conspiracy is threatening all of humanity. It's up to me and my new feline friend to set things right. A civil war's brewing on ...

"A hilarious ride through wild alien worlds." "A delightful mix of humor, adventure, and quirky characters." "Guardians of the Galaxy, but with a detective vibe." If there's one thing that can shake neurotic government auditor Roger Stenely out of his routine, it's murder. When he joins an investigation, mercenaries led by the planet-hopping gang leader Kobold come after him. Forced into an uneasy truce with the gruff, gun-toting Detective Hort and his history-loving beautiful neighbor Olivia, Roger finds himself on the run and on the hunt. Using a trusty portal briefcase, they bounce ...

Zoe: Being a fighter pilot in the United States Air Force is all I ever wanted. That is, until I saw the Cerastean's alien spaceship. I was first in line to volunteer when the Cerasteans offered to train human pilots to fly their dart fighters. Now we’ve just discovered that another alien species wants to destroy all Cerasteans—and humans along with them. It looks like my flying skills are about to be put to the test. L'Forn, Cerastean Leader: There are less than five thousand of my people left in the universe, and it’s my responsibility to keep them safe. Now a new threat looms, ...

Humans are strange. At least, that’s what the aliens think. After years of observing Earth, they’ve compiled 1000 confusing, hilarious, and wildly inaccurate “facts” about our daily lives. Why do we wrap our feet in fabric? Why do we stare at glowing rectangles? Why do we set food on fire and call it cooking? 1000 Ideas: Aliens Think This Is Normal is a guide to Earth from the point of view of extraterrestrial observers who almost understand us. From sacred sock rituals to the mystery of elevators, nothing escapes their clueless curiosity. If aliens wrote a guide to Earth, it would ...

I never saw myself as a hero…until I stopped an intergalactic war. One minute, Alex was just trying to fix peoples’ computers; the next, he and his friends are racing across the galaxy to stop a doomsday portal from opening right above Aurora Station—a station that just happens to house thousands of innocent people. Now Alex, Lucy, Joey, and the rest of the Starflare crew are in the fight of their lives. Syndicate mercs, rogue mechs, and an alien hybrid mastermind known only as the Architect stand between them and the survival of everyone on board. The odds aren’t great. The pay is ...

I wasn't prepared for just how great that probe would feel… When I was suddenly abducted by grey, squishy aliens, I was confused and afraid. But I quickly learned that they were big on informed consent and really wanted me to enjoy my probing. I was about to feel things I never imagined possible when the alien took my butt with his big, squishy probe...

Calvin wasn't supposed to be on a spaceship. He definitely wasn't supposed to be heading to Venus. But when you're nine years old, brilliant at hiding, and have a dog like Pudge, anything is possible. Join Calvin and Pudge as they accidentally stow away on Starhopper 9, meet a crew of quirky space travelers, and discover the greatest surprise of all—friendly aliens who wave back. With pancakes, paw prints, and peanut butter medals along the way, this out-of-this-world adventure will leave young readers laughing, wide-eyed, and ready for more. Perfect for ages 5–12, Deep Space Trouble is...

Superweapon stud? That's what the doctor ordered. The Beastmasters are dwindling. The Mekanics are growing bolder. Everyone's desperate for the next magic bullet. With no more Chimerics arriving, there's only one way to make more Beastmasters. Me. I'm not against making baby Beastmasters with the hotties on my squad. The problem is that they're not telling me everything. The last time they tried this, things got pretty ugly... All hell's breaking loose. Secrets are spilling left and right. Even my alien cat Zoe can't keep all the facts straight. And everyone wants a piece of me. There's ...

Tales from the GC What happens when humanity joins a galaxy-wide council of ancient alien civilizations... and immediately starts causing problems? Welcome to the GC—where highly advanced species have spent eons crafting treaties, protocols, and peace. Then humans show up with sarcasm, caffeine, and an uncanny ability to turn every diplomatic incident into a weapons-grade misunderstanding. Tales from the GC is a fast-paced, hilarious collection of short sci-fi stories where humans: File a lawsuit in the middle of a space battle Weaponize a tractor beam just because they can Livestream an ...

The alien invasion was the least of anybody's problems. Out of the blue, a strange alien mothership appears in the sky. At first, it just hangs there, making no apparent attempts to communicate with the people of Earth. But pretty soon the White House is a hole in the ground, and glowing translucent spheres are abducting people from the streets. In order to avert further disaster, Satan, former King on Hell but now exiled on Earth, teams up with his best buddy and travel back to Hell to get a piece of tech that could send the aliens packing. But little do they know that the aliens, the ...

Little Monster has something very important to tell you. It is okay to become sad or angry with your friends, but under no circumstances should you try to nibble them. Remember, don't eat your friends! This book for early readers has about 900 words and 14 illustrations.