Comedy Survival

Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?

The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.

It's a cruel, cruel world out there. Trust me, I've seen it. You're pretty much doomed unless you know how to survive. Which you don't. Which I do. Which is why I have written the ultimate survival guide to life. My name is TommyInnit. I've been around the block these past twenty years. I've seen things you couldn't handle. I've eaten things you couldn't taste. Handled taxes in ways that (probably) won't get you arrested. Always prepped for the apocalypse, I know a thing or two about surviving.

My name is Gary Rendell. I'm an astronaut. When they asked me as a kid what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said, "astronaut, please!" I dreamed astronaut, I worked astronaut, I studied astronaut. I got lucky; when a probe exploring the Oort Cloud found a strange alien rock and an international team of scientists was put together to go and look at it, I made the draw. I got even luckier. When disaster hit and our team was split up, scattered through the endless cold tunnels, I somehow survived. Now I'm lost, and alone, and scared, and there's something horrible in here. Lucky me.

In the fading days of late summer, 2011, self-taught astrophysicist Petra has calculated that the atmosphere will collapse in a few weeks’ time—on September 21, at approximately 9:20 pm—ending the world as we know it. But the distraught Petra will not have to carry the burden of this terrible news alone for long. Fate intervenes, bringing her into the orbit of a pair of unlikely companions: Johan, a man whose intellectual prowess is remarkably overshadowed by his culinary skills, and Agnes, a seventy-five-year-old widow who has made a fortune posing as a young influencer on social media.

We’re supposed to be faking it but I’m falling hard for my brother’s hot best friend who’s twice my age. Josh is arrogant, filthy rich and has a ton of pride. He’s not the type to ask anyone for a favor. But he has a crazy ex who will stop at nothing to take his son away. So when he begs me to be his fake fiancé to help win the custody battle, I say yes. Then a simple week away ended up with us tangled up in the sheets. The harder we try to fake it, the harder it is to resist each other. Lines have been crossed and neither of us know what’s fake or real anymore. The only thing ...

Marissa, a recent high school graduate and amateur chef, loves cooking, the culinary reality show Scoop Out, and hot Scottish movie star Garrett Campbell. Despite her big dreams, her feet are firmly planted on the non-slip, rubber floor mat behind the counter of the Texas Fry Hut. -- until she receives a wild job offer -- Spend the summer cooking for Garrett Campbell in Hollywood.

After being jilted, Margaret Stredwick has sworn off men and marriage. What she needs is a holiday. But a detour along the way takes a surprising turn that leads Meg to him. And soon she starts to wonder if she should indulge in one grand flirtation before she’s firmly on the shelf. The instant Lucien Ambrose, Duke of Merleton, finds a strange woman touring the halls of his ancient estate, he knows the minx is up to something. So, when a family heirloom is stolen, it’s clear who the culprit is.

The beloved author of The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared returns with an enchanting adventure that skewers the greed and hypocrisy that dominates our time and holds lessons about what’s truly important in life.

Mild-mannered sheep farmer Albert Stark is fed up with the harsh life of the American frontier, where it seems everything and anything can kill you: Duels at high noon. Barroom brawls. Poisonous snakes. Cholera-infected drinking water. Tumbleweed abrasion. Something called “toe-foot.” Even a trip to the outhouse. Yes, there are a million ways to die in the wild, wild West, and Albert plans to avoid them all. Some people think that makes him a coward. Albert calls it common sense.

I have a confession. I hate bachelorette parties. A night of awkward dancing, penis-shaped straws and being told “you're next, Kaitlyn!” Even worse: It's hosted at a super swanky Miami club where I stick out like a sore thumb. Couldn’t get any worse, right?

Vampires have walked among us for thousands of years. These reanimated corpses survive by draining and consuming the blood of the living, and their threat to humanity cannot be ignored. Throughout the centuries, professors and peasants have offered their own vampire-fighting tips, but these were often old wives' tales, based more on superstition than on fact. Here, for the first time, is a comprehensive vampire-fighting guide for the 21st century.

Fresh off of a victorious treasure hunt and rescue mission in South America, Addison Cooke just can't seem to steer clear of rogue bandits, pesky booby traps, and secret treasure troves. Addison's aunt and uncle, on the other hand, are none too happy about their habit of attracting kidnappers. When they become pawns in a dangerous gang's plan to steal the most prized possession of the notorious Mongolian leader Genghis Khan, Addison and his friends find themselves once again caught in the middle of a multi-million-dollar international heist.

My mother's life goal has been to see me, geek extraordinaire Lexi Carmichael, happily married. So bringing my first boyfriend, Slash, home for dinner has me hyperventilating. Things get a lot worse when bullets start flying over our corn chowder. Now the entire alphabet soup of government agencies want my help finding the man behind the attack – Johannes Broodryk, a cyber-mercenary I foiled on my last case. He wants revenge and he's taken something of mine to ensure I'll play, so it's game on. But the government has its own agenda, and Slash is not on board with the plan. Things are a bit bumpy in paradise.

Chris Grainger is back, hard at work trying to save his business, The Comfort Zone. After surviving the soft opening from hell, he has to strategize how to move the business forward without losing his grip. Now that his secret deception of using money from his and his lady, Angel's joint account to start the business has been revealed, he has major work to do regaining her trust, and assistance in saving his bar. Chris wants a business that will be a source of escape for the Ladies.

A one-in-ten-billion natural disaster devastates Chicago. A Jewish comedian, his most devoted fan, and the city’s mayor must struggle to move forward while the world—quite literally—caves beneath their feet. With this polyphonic tale of Chicago-style politics and political correctness, stand-up comedy and Jewish identity, celebrity, drugs, and animal psychology, Levin has constructed a monument to laughter, love, art, and resilience in an age of spectacular loss.

We guarantee this is the only tool you need to survive the zombie apocalypse. Okay, that's not really true. But when the SHTF, you're going to want a survival guide that's not just geared toward day-to-day survival. You'll need one that addresses the essential skills for true nourishment of the human spirit.

It's no one’s fault that Hallie Jacob is alone. That her grandpa got sick half a world away and so her parents yanked her to Colorado the last semester of her senior year. That career-wise, she’s specialized in fighting fire, and now she’s surrounded by ice, snow, and a thousand cousins she’s half-banned from hanging around with. But that’s what's happened. That's what her December looks like.

The ups and downs mean you’re alive. Sometimes, life knocks you down and it gets harder to pick yourself back up. Whether it’s for family, friends or themselves, these realistic characters continue on. The rollercoaster of life is harsh to them, but they persevere in their own ways. Stories by Toni Mobley, Laura Ruth Loomis, Katie Kent, Douglas Allen Gohl, Deborah Henley, and J.E. Feldman.

Chris Hollingsworth is the Mayor's son. His uncle is a mob boss. He's the last person club owner Jack Kingston should get involved with, but it's Christmas. Chris has been thrown out. He has nowhere to go. Jack has a heart, but he expected a one night stand. He wasn't expecting love.