Bears Satire

Fantasying Is Believing! "If a laugh can be had in a world shrouded by sadness and sorrow, is that not the equal of finding gold while digging for coal?" The story presented here comes directly from the original Blonde Bombshell herself, Goldie Locks. Long before bleach adorned the heads of Marilyn Monroe, Kim Novak and, of course, Gorgeous George, Goldie set the standard for those sporting real locks of gold. Oh, and by the way, Goldie reminded me as we were writing this that 'tis not Goldilocks. 'Tis Goldie Locks. According to Goldie, "It looks dippy the other way." These few pages are ...

Did you know bears never die? There are many unknown facts about these fur-adorned mammals. Because the hard truths about bears can be difficult to process, society often shields itself from the realities of the true threat bears pose to mankind. Every book written on bears has been a lie. People live under the false impression that bears can be avoided, that bear attacks are survivable, and even that bears are not immortal. Suffice it to say, people have a lot to learn about bears, bear safety, bear attacks, and the impending war between man and bear.

The Raid on Old Amersham continues the wonderful New Bears for the 21st Century series. Set in a future Planet Earth run by bears, The Raid on Old Amersham captures daring and intrigue in a high-stakes plot that would more than rival humanity for subterfuge and the reckless follies of ambition. The sinister Polar Power movement is intent on invading Britannia, and the quaint English market town of Old Amersham is firmly in the sights of their power-crazed polar bear leader, Odin Norsefang. Meanwhile, the intrepid trio of Snowball, Brosnan and Chiwi stand in their way. Using bear characters,...

A career-making assignment. An elusive, charismatic sociopath. Will Sarah’s big break secure her fame or savage her soul? The Interview takes you on one woman’s transformational journey as she faces the demons of her past while navigating the manipulations of an enigmatic man. Sarah, a young reporter with a deeply troubled history, wins an interview with a powerful business mogul who is rarely seen in public and has never before granted an interview. This assignment could make or break her career. Little did she know it could also break her spirit. Sarah must tackle direct challenges to...

Step into the world of Renaissance drama where comedy, passion, power, and romance take center stage in London’s playhouses. Get a closeup view of the emerging middle class and their penchant for murder, mayhem, and revenge in this snapshot of Elizabethan theater and its contemporary audience. Ripley illuminates the women featured in works by William Shakespeare and his contemporaries as these playwrights sometimes ridicule, but often admire feminine entrepreneurial spirit and intelligence. Come along and embrace the pastimes produced by Renaissance culture to discover how early modern ...

When Kandra and her motley crew of one-inch purple warriors crash land in an amusement park, they find themselves in a world full of towering monsters and bizarre landscapes. Their spaceship is broken, and they are stranded on an unfamiliar planet. Captain Kandra, a fierce and resourceful leader, must rely on her team's unique skills to navigate this strange new world. Niraby, a systems engineer with blue locks and a lethal past, Tombila, the muscled weapons expert covered in tattoos, Sanidru, the kind-hearted cook in love with Tombila, and Wilamo, the genius but perpetually grumpy ...

Revenge of the Trash Pandas is a collection of short stories, misadventures, family tales, and humorous encounters. 
 The tales in here are not tall. They are true. 
From crowd-scattering encounters with wild animals, slobbery exposures to rabid raccoons, sleeping through an out-of-body experience, barnyard mishaps, mountain pranks, misadventures large and small, super-heroic failings, and general good fun, Revenge of the Trash Pandas is a compilation of short stories expressing the wonder and silliness of life in all its strange manifestations.
 So, sit back, relax, and join us for a...

He's the world's first black bear detective, and he's sure of himself.“I’m not trying to say anything bad about them,”Bearstone said, “But if a couple of schlemiels like mycousins Winnie and Paddington can make it by screwingthings up, think what a bear detective could do.”“Bear detective?” I asked.“Sure,” he said. “What did you think, I was going tostand in the park selling balloons to three-year-olds?What kind of smarmy pap would that be?”I shrugged.“See, that’s what’s wrong with people, especially whenit comes to storybook characters,” he said. “They take ...

Jimmy DiFrenzo is the head of one of the Figarazzi family, one of the toughest mob families around. He loves his gabagool, his gold chains, and his chest hair. He lives in a nice suburban home with his adoring wife and child. The perfect, yet hackneyed, life of a Sicilian American. But he has secrets. Blondie is a spoiled little rich girl who always gets her way. When her life becomes tedious, she begins a life of breaking into random homes. She never steals anything; she's in it for the excitement. All is going swimmingly, till she finds herself the wrong house.