Adult Funny Humor

St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming, and he needed to use the restroom. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go take a leak?" "Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?" "Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven." "Sounds easy enough," Jesus shrugged. So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went off on his errand. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to a ...

Unleash your inner Einstein with the most exhiliarating, laugh-out-loud trivia book ever written! Be catapulted on a whirlwind adventure through the zany, weird, and utterly fascinating realms of knowledge, as we take trivia to a whole new level of fun! Packed with 1,522 mind-blowing facts spanning science, history, pop culture, and more, this rip-roaring, side-splitting tome is perfect for trivia buffs and inquisitive minds of all stripes, comprising everything from the astonishing to the absurd, the hilarious to the hair-raising, and everything in between. "Brain-Boosting Facts for ...

When the Spirit of Winter takes a fancy to Tiffany Aching, he wants her to stay in his gleaming, frozen world. Forever. It will take all the young witch's skill and cunning, as well as help from the legendary Granny Weatherwax and the irrepressible Wee Free Men, to survive until Spring. Because if Tiffany doesn't make it to Spring, Spring won't come for anyone.

This is the ultimate book of weird history! Combining Volumes 1 and 2 in the “Weird Things in History and Why the Heck They Happened” series, this is your opportunity to jump into a time machine and visit some of the overlooked, the peculiar, and definitely the most amusing things that have influenced our contemporary world. Brace yourself for amusement and astonishment as you explore not only the 50 tales from the first two volumes but 5 additional historical events that you most likely won’t find in any school textbook! “Weird Things in History and Why the Heck They Happened” ...

Step back in time and prepare to be amused and amazed by "Humorous History: Funny and Interesting Facts in History." Delve into the pages of this delightful book to discover the lighter side of some of the most iconic figures in history. From the audacious antics of Napoleon Bonaparte to the witty wisdom of Abraham Lincoln, from the quirky quirks of Benjamin Franklin to the royal rib-ticklers of King Henry, this collection of anecdotes and tales offers a refreshing take on the past. Whether you're a history buff or just looking for a good laugh, "Humorous History" promises to entertain and ...

The monsters delight when a prey falls into their lair until their den becomes the prison for the beasts. Trusting Daywalkers is dangerous. Double-crossing them is suicide. When death falls on her doorstep, agent Francesca Drake goes undercover inside the Daywalkers Academy. Desperate to prove herself she forgets the number one rule. Only the pure bloods are welcomed. Entering a world where she can never measure up, suddenly she’s surprised to find that she sets the standard. Sadly, for Francesca, not everyone agrees to this new trend. Each secret uncovers a path to betrayal, that shakes ...

In the hills of Appalachia, humor and wisdom are mixed up forever in funny, wise stories that seem to grow more lustrous with each telling. Here are two of the best: "Uncle Frank Invents the Electron Microphone", Appalachian folk wisdom rolled into one of Davis' funniest stories; "Uncle Frank and the Crown Feed Boys", Davis' legendary Uncle Frank teaches a couple of traveling salesmen the lesson of their lives.

🤡 Savage pranks and annoying tricks to drive people up the damn wall 😏 Passive-aggressive moves that sting without saying a word 🖇️ Office chaos starters guaranteed to make coworkers hate your guts 🧨 Family feuds made funnier (and a hell of a lot messier) 💻 Social media trolling tips for keyboard warriors with attitude 🧍♂️🧍 Public space shenanigans to irritate strangers like a pro 📱 Texting torture techniques that’ll make their thumbs bleed 🚗💢 Road rage ideas that don’t involve actual road rage (mostly) 🎭 How to weaponize sarcasm and deadpan for ...

Natural-born healer Emma Starling once had big plans for her life, but she’s lost her way. A medical school dropout, she’s come back to small-town Everton, New Hampshire, to care for her father, who is dying from a mysterious brain disease. Clive Starling has been hallucinating small animals, as well as having visions of the ghost of a long-dead naturalist, Ernest Harold Baynes, once known for letting wild animals live in his house. This ghost has been giving Clive some ideas on how to spend his final days.

S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (i.e. "those idiots"), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos®. Then Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, and S.T. starts to think something isn't quite right. Even the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis, fails to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis.

A Remarkable Gift Under $20 for Seniors or Anyone Cherishing Nostalgic Golden Years Take a stroll down memory lane with heartfelt stories crafted especially for seniors. From the vibrant 1940s to the transformative 2000s, Uplifting Short Stories for Seniors brings the essence of each decade to life through light, inspiring, and nostalgic tales. With 100 thoughtfully selected stories, we’ve also included an EXTRA bonus of 20 additional stories, making this collection even more delightful. That’s 120 stories in total, providing endless moments of joy and reflection for you or your loved ...

I just want to be naughty for one night of my life. I think I’d be really good at it... I need to escape. I’m a bad girl trapped in a good girl’s body. Perfect grades, star volleyball player, lead in the drama club. I know it’ll lead to a great career. But I need more. Just one night. In Ireland. On St. Patrick’s Day. Thousands of miles away from anyone who knows me. That’s how I met Dare Mackenzie. With fire in his emerald eyes, sinful promises on his lips. And an accent as intoxicating as the darkest stout. He keeps saying I’m too sweet, too innocent, too good. I dare you, ...

You wont stop laughing with "World's Funniest Jokes". An incredible collection of mainly dirty jokes, puns and humor targeted mainly at adults. Guaranteed to make you laugh out loud, you will love sharing these jokes with your buddies. Customers with Kindle Unlimited and Amazon Prime can read this book for FREE. And, if for some reason, you are not 100% satisfied, you get your money back!

After Deanna Sullivan—aka Tweedle-Dee—found herself hanging upside down at the town carnival, the last thing she expected was for Reel Thurman to return home. But when strange occurrences threaten her safety, the overbearing security expert and local legend, Reel Thurman, swoops into town and vows to protect her. Reel might have laser-focused skills and the body of a Greek god, but in Deanna’s opinion, he was supposed to stay in her past—far in her past. With a mega eye roll thrown his direction, Deanna focuses on her baking, determined to ignore him. But as the ovens heat up, so ...

Can her magic save the world—before his curse destroys it?Shy, awkward Dru never believed she had what it takes to be a true sorceress. That's why she’s been running a little crystal shop on the rough side of Denver, selling potions and charms to the larger-than-life spellcasters who defend the world against the forces of darkness. But when she accidentally touches hands with a dangerously handsome stranger, sparks fly — literally — and he supercharges her crystal magic powers. Ironically, Greyson doesn’t know a thing about magic. But his screaming-fast muscle car is possessed by ...

“Weird Things in History and Why the Heck They Happened” is back with another collection of 25 of some of the weirdest historical facts! This second volume continues to peel back the layers of conventional history to reveal the forgotten, the bizarre, and the downright hilarious events that shaped our world today. Prepare to be entertained, enlightened, and left in awe as you uncover 25 more offbeat historical tales that somehow managed to miss the pages of your school textbooks. Among the collection of tales, you’ll encounter some not-as-popular historical figures like a German ...

Tired of inspirational quotes and toxic positivity? Good. 1000 Ideas: Sarcasm is the brutally honest, eye-roll-inducing, laugh-out-loud survival guide for navigating the absurdity of modern life. Packed with razor-sharp wit, this book takes aim at everything from workplace nonsense and dating disasters to health fads, social media drama, and that one person who always says “let’s circle back.” Whether you're looking to upgrade your inner monologue or arm yourself with comebacks for family dinners, this is your ultimate handbook for responding to life’s chaos with class, sass, and ...

From the international bestselling author of The Cursed Thief and The Blood King comes a harrowing thrill ride through an apocalyptic New York City! My name is Frank Moon, and I’m surrounded by death. Until today, I thought I’d seen everything in my time as a cop. Nope, not even close. Believe it or not, a meteor just landed in Central Park! The damn thing brought along a hellish radiation too. The strobing red emission has altered the genetic code of the people who witnessed it enter Earth’s atmosphere. Lucky for me, I was too busy binge-watching my favorite TV show or I would’ve ...

Sticking their noses where they are most definitely not wanted. Despairing of their humans, these pets take it upon themselves to solve the cases they see as only cats and dogs can. Whether they sniff out the clues or fool the criminals into thinking they are harmless pets to be ignored, Rex, Amber, Buster, and more enjoy escapades a plenty in this fun collection of short stories. Grab your copy and be ready for the fur to fly! Includes: Police Dog - Day One Amber's Bust The Little Lost Dachshund Hell Cat Hell Hounds The Clown, the Witch, and the Cat The Case of the Missing Pasty

Humans are strange. At least, that’s what the aliens think. After years of observing Earth, they’ve compiled 1000 confusing, hilarious, and wildly inaccurate “facts” about our daily lives. Why do we wrap our feet in fabric? Why do we stare at glowing rectangles? Why do we set food on fire and call it cooking? 1000 Ideas: Aliens Think This Is Normal is a guide to Earth from the point of view of extraterrestrial observers who almost understand us. From sacred sock rituals to the mystery of elevators, nothing escapes their clueless curiosity. If aliens wrote a guide to Earth, it would ...