With & For / Dr. Pam King  By  cover art

With & For / Dr. Pam King

By: Dr. Pam King
  • Summary

  • With & For explores the depths of psychological science and spiritual wisdom to offer practical guidance towards spiritual health, wholeness, and a life of thriving. Hosted by developmental psychologist Dr. Pam King.
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Episodes
  • The Big Picture on Thriving & Spiritual Health — Season One Wrap Up with Dr. Pam King & Dr. Jill Westbrook
    Apr 1 2024
    Help inspire the future of With & For! Click here to take our short survey! Four respondents will get a special box of goodies from the Thrive Center!Show NotesVisit thethrivecenter.org for more resources on thriving and spiritual health!Why podcast about thriving and spiritual health?Pam’s deep desire for people to thrive and become who they’re meant to be, with and for othersPractical and applicable insights for personal growth and well-being.Bringing in experts from different research methods, spiritual traditions, and cultural backgroundsRichie Davidson on declarative and procedural learningDan Siegel on integrationGrowing through the throes of difficultiesCultivating virtues and deepening relationshipsPam’s personal experience halfway through the season: caring for a child with a medical emergencyWhat helped Pam through the recent trauma?When under threat, we go to what’s automatic5 x 7 breathing“Her crisis was exacerbated by the fact that her coping skill was not possible.”“My holding her hand was very calming for her.”Cynthia Eriksson on trauma and activating the parasympathetic nervous system forAlexis Abernethy on self-care, rest, and rhythms“Coming home to my body… listening to my body… aware of the natural rhythms of my body… trusting our bodies more.”“A nerd with lipgloss.”Feeling AlonePam King’s deeply relational theologyBecoming is linked to our belonging and connection with others?Shared and validated by anotherPam King’s co-authored book, The Reciprocating SelfDan Siegel’s approach to “intraconnection” and research about attunement and awareness of others.Alexia Salvatierra: “If you’re community is not well, then you are not well.”Richie Davison on neuroplasticity: we have agency in our life changing and growingEngaging in psychological or spiritual practices to expand our attention, deepen compassion, gain more insight into our values, and identify our purpose.Find the Center for Healthy Minds Innovations App (FREE)Purpose and Life Review with Bill DamonBelle Liang on telling a story and finding your purpose through your own life narrative and “letting your life speak”Sarah Schnitker and t he virtue of patience as a relevant and timely approach to life todayMiroslav Volf on joy and sorrow in the context of Christian faith and redemptionHope for God’s presence amidst the sorrowPsychology of beliefTheology is not just the study of God, but the knowledge and love of God, and seeking the kingdomLife unencumbered and freeThe Black experience and longing for living and dreaming unencumberedThriving involves systems of access and justice“True human thriving contributes to a flourishing world. And our world will not be flourishing until all people live unencumbered.”Dwight Radcliff on hip-hop theology and an embodied response“Art engages us at the sensory level.“Susan David on emotions as signpostsArt and beautyThree tips for thriving based on Season 1 of With & ForLean into love for yourself—finding compassion and grace for yourselfFind love in your relationships, co-creating meaning and purposeLean into love in the narrative of your life and your place and purpose in your community and the larger, bigger story of the world“Beyond-the-self” purpose as a central podcast valueWhat’s coming next for With & ForThank you to our expert guests this season, our wonderful production team, and the administration and faculty of the Fuller School of Psychology and Marriage & Family Therapy at Fuller Theological Seminary About the Thrive CenterLearn more at thethrivecenter.org.Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenterFollow us on X @thrivecenterFollow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter About Dr. Pam KingDr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking. About With & ForHost: Pam KingSenior Director and Producer: Jill WestbrookOperations Manager: Lauren KimSocial Media Graphic Designer: Wren JuergensenConsulting Producer: Evan RosaSpecial thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
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    57 mins
  • The Power of Patience: How to Wait Well, Persevere Through Suffering, and Navigate a Fast-Paced World with Dr. Sarah Schnitker
    Mar 25 2024
    Help inspire the future of With & For! Click here to take our short survey! Four respondents will get a special box of goodies from the Thrive Center!“People who are patient are not less assertive, they are not passive, and if anything they actually achieve their goals more successfully. Anything worthwhile, you'll have to wait and you'll have to suffer. And so we need patience to be able to suffer well. Patience is not an eradication of emotions. It is the ability to feel those emotions, but to stay level headed to regulate through them. As a virtue, patience, I see as doing that for something beyond the self. So patience is really staying engaged continuing forward and pursuing the good.” (Sarah Schnitker)We live in a high-speed, high-efficiency, get-it-done-yesterday society. Why would we talk about patience? But the old adage, “Patience is a virtue” is true. A core ingredient to our spiritual health in our frenetic modern world is the ability to live fully in the moment, exercise control and stability through arduous or challenging (and even traumatic) circumstances—doing so with poise and style.Research psychologist Dr. Sarah Schnitker of Baylor University has pioneered the scientific study of patience among the virtues, exploring the physical, emotional, spiritual, and philosophical dimensions of this timeless and timely virtue. She defines patience as the ability to remain calm in the face of adversity and suffering—being able to wait well and not become inordinately overwhelmed by anxiety or sorrow.Patience makes us ask not just “What’s worth waiting for?”, but “What’s worth suffering for?” Our English word for suffering comes from the Latin word for “enduring suffering.” And Sarah Schnitker brings theologically rich dimensions to her psychological study of patience.In this conversation with Sarah Schnitker, we discuss:The definition of patience as a virtueThe essential role patience can play in our pursuit of meaning and purposeThe connections between waiting and suffering—and the theological and spiritual context for patienceHow patience is related to goal-setting and complementary to courageAnd Sarah offers guidance for how to cultivate patience in our own lives, using a research-backed strategy to identify, imagine, and think.Show NotesLearn about Sarah Schnitker’s research on virtue and character development on Science of Virtues Lab.Pam King introduces Sarah Schnitker (Baylor University)Biblical concept of patience as “long-suffering”David Bailey Harned—eradicating problems and losing faith in patience“Anything worthwhile you’ll have to wait and you’ll have to suffer.”“I think many people don't have that clarity about what it is in their life that they are willing to suffer for. So I think that search for meaning and purpose involves that.”Patience as a “beyond the self” virtueDefinition: “the ability to remain calm in the face of adversity, suffering, and waiting”“It's not that you don't get emotions. It is the ability to feel those emotions, but to stay level headed to regulate through them.”Patience and goal-settingPatience and self-control as different but working together“Patience is really part of that facilitation of adaptive goal pursuit, which is really cool to find and also to show that meaning really matters too. That meaning pushes you to be more patient.”Telos: “the intersection of our goals, our roles, and our souls”Patience and courageHabits to help us reappraise meaning and purpose in the world“This moment is not forever…”Kendall Bronk on patience in emerging adultsPatience as “the ability to stay calm, but actively engaged in the face of frustration or suffering.”Depression, mental healthMark Labberton’s story of allowing the rituals and habits of Christian sacraments and liturgy to calm and regulate and provide meaningAutopilot as the virtueGratitude and patience as a communal practice—what is communal patience?What is your gratitude? What is your growth?Virtues help us as a fuel system and guidance systemPatience in Sarah Schnitker’s personal lifeCyclic Vomiting SyndromeVirtue Ethics and Greek philosopher AristotleThe “Golden Mean” of virtuesImpatience is too little of the virtue of patience (the vice of deficiency)Passivity (or the spiritual vice of “acedia”) is too much of patience (the vice of excess)Weaponizing patience is not a virtue.How patience pairs well with courageWhen you have both patience and courage, that’s when you’re pursuing your goals well and loving boldly, seeking justicePatience and loving your enemyPractical Steps: How can we become patient?Identify, Imagine, and SyncIdentify your emotions, notice what you’re feeling, developing a larger emotional lexiconImagine, think about things differently, think differently, reappraisal to bring down the emotion, perspective takingSync, moving forward with a goal based plan connected to meaning and purpose“...
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    54 mins
  • Redeeming the Past: Owning Your Story, Cultivating Courage, and Finding Peace with Dr. William Damon
    Mar 18 2024
    Help inspire the future of With & For! Click here to take our short survey! Four respondents will get a special box of goodies from the Thrive Center!"The life review is a way of going back in a systematic way into your past and looking for things that you never understood—mysteries. And I had a big mystery in mine, which was: Who is my father?"We hang on to so much from our past. Regret, remorse, guilt, shame, rumination, unforgiveness… How should we think about our past? Can we reframe and redeem it for the present?Developmental Psychologist William Damon has spent his career studying the human lifespan and for almost 30 years at Stanford University's Center on Adolescence. Since the 1970s, he's been conducting research that has shaped our understanding of human growth and thriving.He’s the author of numerous research articles and several books, including The Path to Purpose: How Young People Find Their Calling in Life, having written widely on character virtues, the moral dimensions of work and vocation, and moral formation for children and adolescents, and more.In the last 20 years, William has systematically studied purpose and how to operationalized it for human thriving. He defines purpose as “an enduring life goal that is both meaningful to oneself, but also makes a difference beyond the self.”But more recently, he's building a new area of study around life review. His latest book is A Round of Golf with My Father: The New Psychology of Exploring Your Past to Make Peace with Your Present. in it, he articulates a process that he's developed for investigating and kind of interrogating your life and your past for clues about your direction and purpose.William shares vulnerably about his own discoveries regarding mystery and his own upbringing that has shed new light on the latest chapter in his life.In this conversation with William Damon, we discuss:Positive youth development and the opportunities of childhood and adolescence.The practice of a life review, and how to look at our past in ways that lead to a healthy and fruitful future.The definition of purpose and how it plays a central role in human thriving.And he explains how charting a path to purpose took a very personal turn for him when he came to learn about the father he never knew, and how that impacted his life and his perspective on thriving at 60 years old.In that context, we discuss the emotional connections between courage and curiosity, particularly when it comes to pursuing self-understanding and exploring our sense of purpose and a life of thriving.Show NotesGet your copy of William Damon's book, A Round of Golf with My Father: The New Psychology of Exploring Your Past to Make Peace with Your PresentRead about Bill Damon’s approach to Life Review at the Greater Good Science Center at UC BerkeleyStanford - Center on Adolescence “How does where you've been contribute to where you're going? How does your story shape your sense of purpose?”“I had a big mystery to uncover.”“Regret, remorse, guilt, shame, rumination, unforgiveness. How should we regard our past?”Living life on purposeDefinition of Purpose: “an enduring life goal that is both meaningful to oneself, but also makes a difference beyond the self.”Pam King introduces William Damon and summarizes the episodeStudying purpose through lifespan psychologyYoung people and their potentialWhole person, not just cognitive development.John Gardener: “What we have before us is breathtaking opportunities disguised as problems.”Peter Benson: “Everyone young person has a spark.”Positive youth developmentYouth development: Focusing on strengths and assets rather than character flaws or troubleWilliam Damon on a scientific study of purposeEnduring and long termPersonal and meaningfulTranscendent and beyond the selfAgency and energyPurpose doesn’t do it all—it doesn’t bring ethics or happiness“Purpose is not a silver bullet.”Purpose is not a replacement for a moral code, or a guarantee of bliss or happiness.”“Telos”—Greek for purpose or goal“Purpose is a lifespan developmental capacity.”“Purpose is never really complete.”Life Review and Robert ButlerWho we’ve been, who we are, and who we’re becoming.Forward-looking doesn’t mean you ignore the past.William Faulkner: “The past is not dead. It’s not even the past.”William Damon reflects on growing up without a father“A Round of Golf with My Father”What is a life review? A systematic way of looking into your past and history in order to understand who you’ve been and what that means for your present and future.How to do a life review“Making a case study of yourself”Role of difficult emotions in dealing with your past and finding your purposeFrom blaming to claiming to gaming.Courage and FearHow to develop and cultivate courageAristotle on courageOvercoming challenges and the role of courage in leveraging your purpose to thriveSmall steps make a big ...
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    59 mins

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