When Should I Talk to a Lawyer (Even If I'm Not Planning to Divorce?)

When Should I Talk to a Lawyer (Even If I'm Not Planning to Divorce?)

Have you ever wondered if reaching out to a lawyer makes you disloyal—or unfaithful—to your marriage or to God? Many Christian women in painful or destructive relationships fear that even considering legal advice is a betrayal. But today’s episode is here to shine light on the truth: seeking legal counsel doesn’t mean you’re filing for divorce—it means you’re taking wise, informed steps to protect yourself, your children, and your peace of mind.

Leslie welcomes back trusted friend and family law attorney Marianne Modesty, who brings over 30 years of experience and gospel-centered wisdom to this critical conversation. Whether you're feeling stuck, scared, or simply unsure of what’s next, this episode will empower you to walk in truth, courage, and godly stewardship—without shame.

Key Takeaways 1. Seeking Legal Counsel is Not a Sin

Talking to a lawyer does not equal filing for divorce. It's a step toward wisdom, clarity, and stewardship. God calls us to seek truth, especially when we’re confused or afraid. Consulting a lawyer allows you to understand your rights and responsibilities and prepares you for whatever path you may need to take next.

2. Red Flags That Signal It’s Time to Get Information

Subtle but destructive behaviors—like isolation, financial control, hidden assets, gaslighting, or coercion—can erode your identity and safety. If you're constantly doubting yourself or feel emotionally trapped, it's time to seek clarity from a legal professional—even if you're not ready to leave.

3. Delay Can Have Serious Consequences

Waiting too long can cost you financially, emotionally, and relationally—especially when children are involved. Without legal awareness, women risk losing financial control, custody advantages, and personal agency. Abuse often escalates, and silence can cause deeper damage over time.

4. Choose the Right Kind of Lawyer

Look for integrity, experience, and someone who truly listens and understands the nuances of covert abuse, religious manipulation, or controlling behaviors. A trustworthy attorney doesn’t just fight—she counsels, balances wisdom with practicality, and helps you discern the cost of peace over the cost of war.

5. You’re Not Being Ungodly—You’re Being Wise

God cares deeply about your safety, your sanity, and the well-being of your children. Seeking legal counsel is part of being a faithful steward of the life, resources, and role God has entrusted to you. Truth is never the enemy of faith—it is the foundation of it.

Need Help Navigating These Hard Realities? If someone else’s behaviors are affecting your peace, we invite you to our free webinar:

I'm Not Okay When You're Not Okay

You’ll learn how to set healthy emotional boundaries, recognize what's yours to carry, and protect your well-being even when others don’t change.

You Are Not Alone

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember this: gathering information is not rebellion—it’s wisdom. You don’t have to make big decisions today, but you do deserve to understand your options. God is with you in this process. He is for your dignity, your healing, and your future. You are not powerless—you are being equipped. And we’re walking with you.