Episodios

  • #209 - The Cobbler
    Jul 9 2025

    Get ready to have your Sandler Slot ™ rattled, because it’s time to talk about a pickle-eating shoe man in the form of The Cobbler! The Cobbler? More like The SANDLE-er. Adam Sandler! 23 seasons in, and we’re still somehow alive.


    Also… big shoutout to Slowdrip for suggesting that we watch this one. We’re all worse off for it, so thank you for knowing how to play the game.


    Alliterations!


    Shoe shiner and slip on surfacer slips into sandals and stilettos, assuming status of citizens of the city, sometimes sinning, seldomly surprising, and sans a satisfying story! Scaring skaters to sleep! Skinwalking into stereotypes and shower shags! Make mom model's modified moccasins?! The daddy-mamma dementia dance! The lotsa matzah calling card! She-Man/Shoe-Man switcheroo! Breaking Chris’ Grease streak, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!


    www.theworstmovieevermade.com

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    1 h y 31 m
  • #208 - Goodfellas
    Jul 2 2025

    This week, we get into Goodfellas for some coke blowing, titty slapping, Pesci whacking fun. Good movie week? Great movie week! We all love this one, but there is one GLARING problem in the opening act that will make you reconsider some things... or WILL they? Who are we to say? We’re just a few guys asking questions.


    Here we go!


    Gangster goings on and gangs grifting goods, gaining growing gangster ground! Getting heavy on the Pesci! Continuous underbelly club shots! Doesn’t insist upon itself! Owe money to the mob, and need cash now? Call J.J. Wentworth, 877-CASH-NOW! Cool Ridin’ Bob! Ring counting mole cuts, and much more on this week’s episode of The BEST Movie Ever Made.


    www.theworstmovieevermade.com

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    1 h y 19 m
  • #207 - A Talking Cat?!
    Jun 25 2025

    Imagine this scenario: A new Neil Breen joint drops, and you beg your mom to take you, and she tells you, “We have Neil Breen at home,” before firing up A Talking Cat?! on streaming. That’s exactly what this movie is. But for some reason it’s not without charm; come for the talking cat, but maybe stick around for a while, throw your feet up on the ottoman while you’re working on coding, and wolf down a couple trays full of cheese puffs. We’re not saying that A Talking Cat?! Is a good movie. In fact, it’s QUITE THE OPPOSITE (Chris). However! We’re all glad that we exist at the same time as this pile of trash because it proves the point that if you’re willing to throw resources at a project, no matter how stupid, nobody’s going to stop you.


    Let’s get into it, shall we?


    A close to catatonic cat continuously yet cautiously converses, communicates, and confers with cringy characters who collide concurrently causing catastrophe, then confusion then a crappy conclusion! Home-kitchen caterer can’t cater without kid labor! Ignoring your offspring’s alarming audio hallucinations! Psycho susan’s raw-dog removal and hotel pan handoff! Programmer’s pile of pilfered puffs! Susan’s Pantry Country Catering? Ass worship and dirt-pipe milkshakes! Rob’s on-air meltdown over technical issues that totally weren’t his fault, problematic post-production predictions, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!


    www.theworstmovieevermade.com

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    1 h y 29 m
  • #206 - Timecut
    Jun 18 2025

    Boy, oh boy… this week, we get into Timecut, A.K.A. Rob’s “Rosebud.” This sci-fi slasher is a turd of the highest order, rife with time-travel inspired junk science, the worst kind of nostalgia baiting, and frequent trips to Olive Garden to let audiences know that Olive Garden is, in fact, a real restaurant that you can help shareholders earn money with if you get the chicken alfredo and cheesecake with extra strawberries. They must have eaten at Olive Garden, like, seven times!


    But wait, there’s more!


    Trade-in teenager time travels to a tiny town’s traumatic timeline of teen termination to tamper with today, trying to tweak timetables to turn around tomorrow! Trouser hams! Leaving out local law enforcement! Millennium Member Berry nostalgia mining! Fucking over future father by disappearing his other daughter! Butter Fingering time boxes! Too many Quinns! Prime sluts! Cavalier clutch fucking, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!


    www.theworstmovieevermade.com


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    1 h y 31 m
  • #205 - Face/Off
    Jun 11 2025

    Hold up… it’s still bad movie week isn’t it? Then why in the name of John Woo’s BUTTHOLE are we buring 90 minutes of sweet, sweet podcast runtime talking about Face/Off? 93% on Rotten Tomatoes, Chris. What the hell?!


    There's a lot to talk about because this movie is an insane time capsule that perfectly articulates the height of ‘90s action movie excess. It’s illogical, but who cares? It’s overacted in a way that’s both operatic and absurd, but, also, who cares?


    Face/Off fucking rules, and I’m willing to die on this hill. I think Chris is too. Bob only sent us a complaint about the runtime in the group chat because he’d rather watch Quiz Show, so the Jury’s still out on him.


    Time to yell!


    Dissimilar stubborn supposed studs swap sockets, skin, sneers, stubble, and sideburns so that the savior could stop sabotage while the sadist slays civil servants and shares the sheets for spousal snuggling! Snuffing a ciggie on sleeping Castor! Policeman’s partner doesn’t pick up on penis replacement! Non-consensual face removal! Dead child changeouts! Caucasian tan-line semantics! Castor Troy’s ass-crumb trail! Fucking magnet prisons?! Chris peeing during the closing credits, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!


    www.theworstmovieevermade.com

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    1 h y 18 m
  • #204 - The Fanatic
    Jun 4 2025

    Last season, “Life On the Line” won the title of Worst Movie ™, and it’s thanks to the star-studded collaboration between John Travolta and Devon Sawa working as linemen (LINEMEN!). This season, we bring Fred Durst into the mix (again, kinda) with The Fanatic; also starring John Travolta and Devon Sawa but they hardly do any line work at all!


    Let’s fucking gooooo!


    A fan of a famous film fellow and a friendly female photographer focus on and follow folks for nefarious fulfillment! Chris and Rob’s poo parallel! Nonsensical and infrequent narrator! Security suggesting strangulation is acceptable! Hobby shop host helps Moose hop halfway through the queue! Rob’s embarrassing, deep-cut Limp Bizkit knowledge! Half-assed autism acting, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

    www.theworstmovieevermade.com

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    1 h y 24 m
  • #203 - John Carter
    May 28 2025

    This week we talk about John Carter! The movie that didn’t have Jared Leto but so desperately wanted to (it would have sucked anyway). It seems like a copycat movie, but that’s an anachronistic take once we get into the nitty gritty, so let’s do it!


    Yelling!


    Giants, Deja, and Jeddaks join John on a Jihad, journeying to a juggernaut of jousting javelins, just so Johnny can jangle his jewel! Alien animal cruelty! Jumpin’ John’s abrupt abductions! Junk astronomy! Native American martians! White savior saving the savages? Baking out baby Barsoomians! Bald guys in disguise! The Jeddak of Helium? Bumbling and unbelievable worldbuilding! Roman soldiers with fur! Creatine beans, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!


    www.theworstmovieevermade.com

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    1 h y 18 m
  • #202 - Paul Blart: Mall Cop
    May 21 2025

    Paul Bart: Mall Cop! Wow, what a movie!


    Here we go.


    Fat fella flunks a field test final, forcing the flabby fatso to fend off foes at a food court, flingin the fleshy full-figured fucker, fracturing fixtures and frontage. Preeminent pipe logic problems! Boomer humor for the lazy consumer! Poking fun at single parent passed on by pudgy expat! Porky pranks for the entire picture! Sandler’s just-competent-enough Farley Surrogate? Bob’s Pahud bazooka! Inconsistently crashing through glass, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!


    www.theworstmovieevermade.com

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    1 h y 28 m