Chris, Bob, and Rob finally hop on the bar and talk about Coyote Ugly... a film so bad that the podcast episode is almost as long as the damn movie itself. A brief write-up can't sum up everything that's wrong with this turd, so let's just get into this abomination the only way we know how!

Displeasing dancers drop drinks on drunk dudes! Bar owner babe with bad business blueprint! Practically petrifying poppa by popping a u-ey on the parkway! Navy nerds nabbing and dry-humping tap-house hooker! Back-alley ball bobbling! Obvious Aussie ogling! Miming musicians mindlessly meandering! Bob blinded by the Piper! Chris opens the dildo door! Cramming in the Casio! Hard to kill hospital hog-style heat! Cosby Drops, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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We (Rob) used to think that Nicolas Cage could do no wrong, but wow... get a load of this stinker! Left Behind. The rapture movie where everybody goes to heaven naked apparently.

Cage creates Christian catastrophe! Little person POS PSA! Bitch breaking windows with bibles! The return of Wet Willy Whispers! The supersonic Skipper suffocating scared citizens! Muslim/Midget martial arts! Potato roll blow-softeners! Hammers of cheese! Damsels with dementia left dangling by their deity? Baseball clubs! Sippin' on that Green Mountain money! Believer wieners! U2 bang bribes, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Stay tuned next week for Coyote Ugly.

This week, we talk about Simon Sez... a buddy comedy starring Dennis Rodman and Dane Cook. Can you guess which one tries having sex with a couch?

Listen along to find out.

A mandarin martial artist and a militia of mimes! Gagging a girl while grabbing her for good! High-speed grabbing and nabbing! Bikini babe B-roll! Wanton destruction of personal property! Hymen Pez? Sniffing on the Cosby Drops! Fist fight of the flesh featuring fornication! Fuzzy tit scope! Endless streams of goons! Pole sliding upside down gun-slinging nonsense! Palpatining the PC? Inexplicable math holes, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made.

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What can we tell you about Xanadu that you don't already know. Nothing... because after watching this movie, and then talking about it for roughly 90 minutes, we're still not sure what happened. Rob had a button that played RUSH songs on his sound board, and he didn't get murdered by Chris and Bob, which is evidenced by him typing this diatribe.

Xanadu, here we go:

Skating specter seduces Sonny and a senior citizen simultaneously! Cost-cutting cartoon for correct chronological conclusion! Successfully suckering a senior out of his savings! Declaring disco den dead for desperate divine devotion! Stealing someone’s cycle then smashing into something (wanton destruction of private property)! Fantasy fodder! Artists making a living (kind of)! Super sad city skating sequence with Sonny, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made.

We're doing another Dennis Rodman Movie Next week. Stay tuned to find out which one!

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Did the gang mess up their calendar synchronization? Because Rob has good reason to believe that Dr. Giggles should have been dissected on good movie week! Hi, Rob breaking the fourth wall here. Chris and Bob hate me, and I've never been happier with myself. Let's get giggled!

Jaded junior jams on jive jokes while jabbing and jolting Jennifer! Cardiac crimes including killing kids and co opting their cadavers! Blocking your buddies in an abandoned bedroom! Lingerie larceny (left in luggage, looks luscious?)!Loudly loving in your little lady’s living space! Daddy’s snazz on the side! Mentally impaired moaning maniacs! The Butty Putty Man? Eye heaving! Time-padding flashbacks! Ultimate Jizzbee! Bowls of Balmy Breyers, and much, much more no this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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We finally found The Worst Movie Ever Made... holy shit! We'll keep doing the show though, but know that we're never gonna top this.

Torgo touches torsos and triceps trying to tease a tryst! Dummy-thicc ricket knees! Obvious and off putting overdubbing! Telling teetering Torgo to take your travel bags!Fuck this family but fuck this feeble-minded father especially! Wily window-watching wizard and peeping Torgo the pajama peeker! Torgo touching dormant temple temptresses! Personal piano slaves, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Welcome to season 48 of The Worst Movie Ever Made! Time to talk about Jean-Claude Van Damme, one of our favorite podcast mainstays. This week, we talk about 1996's The Quest, which is about a guy who does stuff that's irrelevant, and then becomes heavyweight champ or something.

Basic burglar befriends Bond before brawling with a bevy of bruisers but barely benefits! Making multiple movies mirroring each other! Stilted jester connection! Rob's Benoit/Dubois conundrum! Indefinite instructions, ball bashing, and literal murder! Mongolian nipple flicks (bean dip!)! Oriental orientation in need of reorienting! Chris quits on capped kids when cops come! Shout-out to Schlitz! Wanton destruction of dinner table! Gold dragon getaway blimps, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

www.theworstmovieevermade.com