JOIN: HOLD YOUR CENTER: For Women Who Are Done Losing Themselves to Overfunctioning April 29th, 2026

You have asked him to do it 17 times. It is still not done. That is not forgetfulness. That is not ADHD. That is weaponized incompetence, and it is the number one hidden brake on female desire that no one is naming correctly.

Weaponized incompetence is when a person performs helplessly in a specific domain so consistently and convincingly that the competent, over-functioning person stops expecting anything from them and permanently absorbs the task. He can't fold laundry, but he can manage a fantasy football team. He's helpless in the kitchen on a Tuesday, but when it comes to coordinating a boys' trip, they eat like kings. That is not a skill deficit. That is a choice.

And your body knows. Your brake does not switch off because the children are asleep, and he has indicated interest at 9:35 PM. Resentment is a brake. Carrying the full cognitive load of the household is a brake. Watching somebody be on their phone while you manage a meltdown, pack lunches, and coordinate tomorrow's logistics is a brake. That is not low libido. It is your body accurately responding to its environment.

We break down what weaponized incompetence actually is, why couples therapy misses it, how to spot it in your relationship, and why mismatched libidos and desire discrepancy are a power problem, not a communication problem.

Your pleasure centers do not care about how much you love him. They respond to felt safety, pleasure-centered equality, and actual partnership.

HOLD YOUR CENTER: For Women Who Are Done Losing Themselves to Overfunctioning is a three-hour experience for women who lose themselves to over-functioning. You will identify your patterns, interrupt them in real time, and learn how to hold someone else's discomfort without collapsing or trying to manage it.

*If you are a past client, DM for your discount code.

Subscribe to The Pleasure Path on Substack for deeper frameworks, case studies, and diagnostic tools that accompany this work.

And if you want to map out exactly where you are and where things are going wrong, book a Pleasure Path Assessment.

If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz.

-Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE.

If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching.

1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Want to go deeper? Join me over on Substack for The Pleasure Path, HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

Chapters

0:00 Intro and the gap in female health research

3:15 Defining pleasure-centered relationships

6:40 The dual control model: accelerators and brakes

9:50 What is weaponized incompetence?

13:10 The leisure time gap and domestic labor stats

16:25 How performance of helplessness creates a libido brake

19:45 Selective incompetence and DARVO explained

23:15 Why standard therapy fails to address power imbalances

26:30 The physical and emotional cost of overfunctioning

28:10 How to reclaim your power

JOIN: HOLD YOUR CENTER: For Women Who Are Done Losing Themselves to Overfunctioning April 29th, 2026

The same traits that make you exceptional at your career make you exquisitely sensitive to context in sex and relationships. You do not have low desire. You are not inherently bad at relationships.

As a high achiever, you are hypervigilant, not high maintenance.

Libido is not a fixed biological drive. It is dynamic and context-dependent, shaped by your nervous system, relational context, and psychological safety. That feeling of being unfulfilled is your body signaling that something is out of balance, but treating the wrong problem keeps you stuck.

Sexual coercion is any pattern that overrides your ability to freely choose intimacy. It becomes a chronic brake, and pressing the gas while that brake is engaged leads to exhaustion.

Safety is a physiological requirement. When you are tracking moods, calculating the cost of your no, or having sex out of obligation, your pleasure centers are off. Your body is doing its job.

The question to ask is simple. The last three times you had sex, what was the actual reason that you did? Not the story. The felt reason.

HOLD YOUR CENTER: For Women Who Are Done Losing Themselves to Overfunctioning is a three-hour experience for women who lose themselves to over-functioning. You will identify your patterns, interrupt them in real time, and learn how to hold someone else's discomfort without collapsing or trying to manage it.

*If you are a past client, DM for your discount code.

Subscribe to The Pleasure Path on Substack for deeper frameworks, case studies, and diagnostic tools that accompany this work.

And if you want to map out exactly where you are and where things are going wrong, book a Pleasure Path Assessment.

If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz.

-Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE.

If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching.

1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Want to go deeper? Join me over on Substack for The Pleasure Path, HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

Chapters
0:00 High achievers and the sensitivity to context
2:45 Why success doesn't translate to relationship ease
5:12 Defining the missing piece: Sexual coercion
8:30 The three levels of coercive beliefs
11:15 Accelerators vs. brakes in your nervous system
14:00 Identifying subtle coercion and obligation in sex
17:45 Why safety is a requirement for arousal
19:50 Overcoming the over-functioning pattern

Something very interesting is happening right now. The women I work with are splitting into two camps. One group is more connected than ever, having better sex than ever. The other group is burning it all down, choosing separation, choosing themselves.

Women with super traits do not have a lower capacity for desire. We have a higher sensitivity to everything surrounding it. We are exceptional at taking the temperature of the room, managing the emotional climate, and anticipating what is needed before it is asked. These are not weaknesses. They are survival strategies that make us extraordinary in every domain of life except one: erotic experience and intimate relationships.

What actually creates desire for a woman with super traits is not lingerie, a scheduled date night, or a glass of wine. It is feeling unseen versus seen. Unsafe versus safe. Carrying everything versus having someone handle something without being asked. His attention landed on her fully. Her own attention finally landed on herself. Attention given fully is foreplay. Safety, desire, turn on. They are all the same thing.

This is your map for what is actually working and what to bring to your partner.

Subscribe to The Pleasure Path on Substack for deeper frameworks, case studies, and diagnostic tools that accompany this work.

And if you want to map out exactly where you are and where things are going wrong, book a Pleasure Path Assessment.

If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz.

-Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE.

If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching.

1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Want to go deeper? Join me over on Substack for The Pleasure Path, HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

Are you the higher drive partner, wondering why your husband never wants sex as much as you do? Do you feel rejected, undesirable, or like something is wrong with you? You are not broken, and you are not alone.

I am answering your most pressing questions about mismatched libidos, how to close the desire gap in your relationship, the best vibrators for women's pleasure, and why a self-pleasure practice is one of the most powerful things you can do for your health, hormones, and relationships.

We cover everything from expanding your definition of sex beyond penis and vagina, to mutual masturbation, to how to stop thinking about your to-do list and actually be present during sex. Yes, we are going there.

Whether you want to know which vibrator to start with, how to communicate your desires to a lower drive partner, or how to get out of your head and into your body, this Q&A has the answers you have been waiting for.

Because good sex requires pleasure, presence, and connection, and you deserve all three.

If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching.

1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Want to go deeper? Join me over on Substack for The Pleasure Path, HERE.

If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz.

-Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

If you are honest with yourself, most high-functioning women already know the answer. Needs are the basics, the foundation. But desire is different. It is where intimacy, connection, and pleasure actually live, and it is the first thing to go when you are overfunctioning.

This is what I see every day. Women who are successful, capable, and holding everything together, but feel disconnected in their relationships. Not because something is wrong with them, but because they have lost access to their own desires.

When you are living in your head, planning, managing, and carrying the emotional load, your body shifts into survival mode. Low libido, lack of arousal, and feeling disconnected are not just hormone issues. They reflect your nervous system and the dynamics in your relationship.

Over time, this creates relationships where you are great teammates but not lovers. You ask for less than you need, or stop asking altogether. You default to your partner and lose connection to yourself.

There are three patterns driving this. Being cut off from your desires, living in your head instead of your body, and beliefs that keep you overfunctioning while your needs go unmet. From the outside, everything looks fine. On the inside, you feel exhausted and disconnected, unsure why it is so hard to feel fulfilled.

If your needs and your desires are not being met, your body already knows. This does not change by trying harder. It changes when you reconnect to your body, your desires, and what allows you to experience intimacy again.

If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching.

1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Want to go deeper? Join me over on Substack for The Pleasure Path, HERE.

If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz.

-Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

Pelvic health physiotherapy is something many women still do not even know exists. If you are having issues with peeing, pooping, pelvic pain, pressure in the pelvis, constipation, leaking urine, pain with sex, or difficulty reaching orgasm, there is help available.

I'm joined by pelvic health physiotherapist Kristin Parise, owner of Blueberry Therapy Pelvic Health and Pediatrics. Kristin has been a physiotherapist for more than 26 years and spent the last decade focused on pelvic health.

Most women will experience some type of pelvic floor dysfunction. About fifty percent of women who have had a baby will have some degree of pelvic organ prolapse. Many women experience urinary or fecal incontinence, and as women age, pain with intercourse or difficulty reaching orgasm becomes more common.

Pelvic floor dysfunction can show up as heaviness or pressure in the pelvis, groin pain, pubic pain, hip pain, SI joint pain, constipation, leaking urine, or pain with sex. Many women believe these symptoms are normal because they have experienced them for so long.

Constipation is one of the most overlooked issues. Many women say they are not constipated, but when asked how often they have a bowel movement, the answer might be every three days.

Stress and trauma also show up in the pelvic floor. People who hold tension in their shoulders and jaw often hold that same tension in their pelvic floor.

Helping women have better poops and better sex is connected to the same system. Understanding the pelvic floor is an important part of better health, better sex, and a body that feels like your own again.

You are lying there, maybe alone, maybe next to someone, and still feeling miles apart. You go to that same place of dissociation during sex. The spark, that erotic aliveness, is nowhere to be found. You have done everything right, checked all the boxes, excelled in so many areas, and now you are asking, what is wrong with me? Am I broken?

Low libido, low desire, difficulty getting aroused or staying aroused, pain with sex, trouble orgasming. These are the reasons women come to me. But for superwomen, low libido is rarely a true arousal problem. Most high-achieving women do not have a broken accelerator. They have a brake pedal on the floor.

Stress. Perfectionistic tendencies. Performance pressure. Mental load. Resentment. Relational power dynamics. Your body is not broken. The conditions are wrong. Your super traits are survival mechanisms, and they are costing you your desire.

I break down the dual-control model in terms that actually make sense to high achievers. I talk about male-centered sex, pleasure education, knowing what you like, giving real-time guidance, and when mismatched libidos are not a communication problem but a power dynamic problem.

If this is you, explore audio erotica this week and notice what lands in your body. Ask yourself, do I truly love the sex we are having? And if you want a clear, personalized next step, book a Pleasure Path Assessment HERE. One hour. Tangible tips. No more guessing.

You are not broken.

Want to go deeper? Join me over on Substack for The Pleasure Path, HERE.

If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz.

-Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE.

If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching.

1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

CHAPTERS

00:00 The Loneliness of the High Achiever

02:15 Superwoman Trait

04:45 Understanding the Dual Control Model

07:10 Why Great Sex is a Priority for High Achievers

09:30 Pleasure Research and Learning What You Like

11:50 Communication vs Power Dynamics in Relationships

13:45 3 Steps to Take This Week for Better Sex

Chellie Carlson is a transformational wardrobe stylist, and this conversation goes way deeper than clothes.

After leaving an abusive relationship, I had zero body confidence. Zero idea what to wear. I did not know what clothes I liked. I did not know what was acceptable. I went from enjoying getting dressed and going to work every day to standing in my closet feeling lost.

Chellie works with women who feel frozen and overwhelmed. Full closets. Nothing feels aligned. So they keep wearing the Lululemons. The comfy cozy jogger sets. Hiding their bodies. Not feeling self-expressed. Not showing up confidently.

She says it clearly. The fewer pieces you have, the better your style will be. You do not need twenty-five bottoms. You need four that fit you right now. Fit matters more than size. The size does not matter. The fit matters. Stop shopping daily. Stop trying to fill the holes. Go inward. Edit your wardrobe. Wear what you own.

We talk about outfit repeating with no shame. Removing the non-current season from your closet. Building a small capsule that actually works. Bringing it in at the waist. Building the hourglass. Stop hiding in large fabric. Stop waiting to lose five pounds before you let yourself feel good.

And underneath all of it is this. Getting dressed affects your mood and productivity. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. It is messaging to your body that you are safe. When you feel aligned, your aura changes. The way you walk into a room changes. The way people treat you changes.

This is not about buying more clothes. It is about self-worth. It is about alignment. It is about women stopping the hiding and owning their bodies exactly as they are.

Connect with Challie HERE

For deeper clarity, you can also book a Super Trait Audit HERE. This is a private clarity session where we map how your super traits are eroding intimacy, identify shutdown patterns, and outline what would actually need to shift to move from high achiever to receiver.

The Super Trait Audit is a one-hour diagnostic session designed to identify what is driving sexual shutdown, nervous system overload, and relational power imbalances.
Grab a Super Trait Audit HERE

If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz.

-Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE.

If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching.

1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]