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In this episode, Kiley explores how Parts Work, most commonly associated with Dr. Richard C. Schwartz’s Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, can transform your experience of polyamory and consensual non-monogamy.

You’ll learn how to identify your inner Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles, and how to lead from your calm, compassionate Self — even in the middle of jealousy, fear of abandonment, or metamour conflict.

We’ll also connect these tools to Jessica Fern’s Polysecure, showing how parts work can help you earn secure attachment both within yourself and with your partners. Plus, Kiley shares her own journey of meeting protective and wounded parts with curiosity and compassion instead of reactivity.

Referenced Resources & Books:

• No Bad Parts — Richard C. Schwartz
• Internal Family Systems Therapy, Second Edition — Richard C. Schwartz & Martha Sweezy
• Polysecure — Jessica Fern
• Self-Therapy — Jay Earley
• Free IFS meditations — IFS-Institute.com
• Jay Earley’s Parts Work Exercises — SelfTherapy.org

Whether you’re new to parts work or deep into your own IFS journey, this episode offers practical tools for emotional regulation, self-compassion, and building security in the beautiful complexity of polyamory.

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• Coaching sessions: Book time with me.

💜 Advocacy & Community Action Support equity and sexual freedom with the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
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In this episode, Kiley sits down with Jack Bohannan from Polarity Unscripted to explore one of the most talked-about — and often misunderstood — relationship dynamics: the anxious–avoidant attachment pairing.

Drawing from her own past relationship (where the answer to “can it work?” felt like a definite no), Kiley brings a candid, real-world perspective to the conversation, while Jack offers his deep expertise on polarity, emotional intimacy, and secure relating.

Together, we break down:

• Why anxious and avoidant partners are so often drawn to each other
• The core fears each style brings into the relationship
• What it actually takes to make this pairing work (and when to walk away)
• How to shift from triggering each other to co-regulating each other
• Practical tools for healing your attachment style — whether you’re dating, nesting, or exploring non-monogamy

This episode blends attachment theory, , and Jack’s signature polarity framework to give you actionable steps you can use in your own relationships — no matter your style.

📌 Find Jack Online:

• Website: https://jackbohannan.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/polarityunscripted
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@PolarityUnscripted

If you’ve ever wondered whether anxious and avoidant partners can build something lasting — or if you’ve lived the highs and lows of this dance yourself — this is the episode you don’t want to miss.

Get The Non Monogamy Card Game and use my exclusive code PINEAPPLE10 for 10% Off

https://www.thenonmonogamycardgame.com/products/the-game

Support the show

🎙️ The Pineapple Express Podcast
Subscribe to my Substack for exclusive content: The Pineapple Express Substack.

💡 Events & Coaching

• Coaching sessions: Book time with me.

💜 Advocacy & Community Action Support equity and sexual freedom with the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
OPEN's Free Peer Support Group

🛍️ Exclusive Deals Just for You

Get The Non Monogamy Card Game and use my exclusive code PINEAPPLE10 for 10% Off

https://www.thenonmonogamycardgame.com/products/the-game

• FirmTech Wearable Tech | Male Enhancement Rings | Shop now and get 15% off with code sexyswingerchick.
• SENSE Shop | Condoms & Lube | Explore the collection and save 15% with code sexyswingerchic.
• Sultry Vixen Dancewear | Exotic Outfits | Shop here and enjoy 15% off with code sexyswingerchic.
• 💬 Let’s keep the conversation going! Follow me for up...

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The Damage of Decolonizing Love & Black Polyamory: Tiffany @RealPolyLife on Race, Community & Swinging

Join us for a powerful conversation with Tiffany (@RealPolyLife)

https://www.instagram.com/realpolylife?igsh=MTRhYWg4Yngwd3h5Zg==

a Black polyamorous educator and influencer, as she unpacks the complex intersections of race, and intimate relationship structures within the polyamory and swinger communities. We dive into how the not so well-meaning efforts of 'decolonizing love' can inadvertently cause harm, especially for Black women navigating ethical non-monogamy.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• The tensions between polyamory, race dynamics, and swinger culture in communities of color.
• Stories and insights from Black women in poly to broaden understanding and visibility.
• Tiffany’s work in centering Black voices in polyamorous narratives via her platform RealPolyLife.
• Resources such as:
  • Black & Poly, a culturally rich poly blog/community designed to foster connection and honest discussion in Black-centered polyamorous spaces
    YouTube
    
    
  • Therapy for Black Girls Session 182, featuring Ruby B. Johnson—a polyamorous Black queer therapist—who addresses stigma, communication, and tools for ethical non-monogamy
    Therapy for Black Girls.
• 
  
  • Psychology of Black Womanhood entry “Black Women & Polyamory”, spotlighting Dr. Jenn M. Jackson’s research on the experiences and challenges of Black women in poly relationships
    Psych of Black Woman

• 
  
  • Online communities like Black & Poly™ and Black

Support the show

🎙️ The Pineapple Express Podcast
Subscribe to my Substack for exclusive content: The Pineapple Express Substack.

💡 Events & Coaching

• Coaching sessions: Book time with me.

💜 Advocacy & Community Action Support equity and sexual freedom with the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
OPEN's Free Peer Support Group

🛍️ Exclusive Deals Just for You

Get The Non Monogamy Card Game and use my exclusive code PINEAPPLE10 for 10% Off

https://www.thenonmonogamycardgame.com/products/the-game

• FirmTech Wearable Tech | Male Enhancement Rings | Shop now and get 15% off with code sexyswingerchick.
• SENSE Shop | Condoms & Lube | Explore the collection and save 15% with code sexyswingerchic.
• Sultry Vixen Dancewear | Exotic Outfits | Shop here and enjoy 15% off with code sexyswingerchic.
• 💬 Let’s keep the conversation going! Follow me for up...