When we try to control things around us, like other people or our environment, this is a safety mechanism.

Our primal instinct is that when we feel under threat or feel let down, we immediately try and want to control the situation.

We do this when:

• We feel unsafe

• Fearful that things are not going our way

• The need to be right and get the last word in or prove someone wrong

• We have assumed without complete understanding or discussion

In this episode of the podcast, I'm sharing some examples of how this behaviour shows up, and the impact it has on other people.

You'll have an opportunity to reflect on where you might be trying to control other people and situations, and what you can do instead.

​As Marcus Aurelius put it: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

Too often we don't take action, because we are scared it will be messy.

We don't start, because we are worried that the action we are going to take is not perfect.

But what we want to do instead is begin to embrace the mess and the imperfection, understanding that whatever we do is perfect in its imperfection, and it is in our messy, imperfect action that we learn to overcome the obstacles standing in our way.

In fact, it is the only way.

It’s messy at the beginning and in the middle and sometimes at the end, and that is perfectly okay.

If you think about an area of your life you are struggling with at the moment - chances are you are struggling because your behaviour in relation to that area does not reflect your values.

The challenge we mostly face with this is that we are either:

a) not clear on our values or

b) are not living our values (consistently) through our behaviour (eg do as I say, not as I do- in other words our actions do not reflect what we say is important)

Following on from the recent episode with Dr John Demartini on Honouring Your Core Values, in this episode of the podcast we are going to be talking about how you can get clear on your values and understand the behaviours that align with them, to help you see your way through your struggle.

Get clear on your values (what you have determined is important).

And understand what that means in terms of your action (in actually living your values).

And from that place of alignment, you can begin to turn the ship around.