There are two versions in which we show up.

At our best, we are patient, loving, kind, courageous, forgiving, curious, and empathetic to the needs of others. We have an attitude of learning and growth.

In our highest and best version of being, we value the self, know our worth, and contribute to life and others.

This is referred to as the higher self.

Showing up as your highest self means operating and living life in communication with a higher level of consciousness, without the restraints of limiting beliefs.

And then there is the other side of the coin.

In this state, we are emotionally reactive, stagnated, closed off to any new information, argumentative and operating in victim mode. This is a contracted and closed off energy space.

This is referred to as the lower self.

We also have free will.

In this episode of the podcast. you'll have an opportunity to reflect on which self you are choosing to spend most of your time operating from.

What other people think about you, is none of your business.

But what you think about you. That is your business.

How you feel about yourself should not be determined by whether other people like you or not.

If you like yourself then it doesn’t matter what other people think about you - positively, negatively, good, bad, indifferent.

If you like yourself then you are friends with yourself.

And if you are friends with yourself then you like and accept yourself, just as you are.

In this episode of the podcast (it's super short, and super sweet) you'll have an opportunity to reflect on the relationship you have with yourself, and how much you may be impacted by what you think the outside world thinks and feels about you.

Despite what we know, let's face it, moments happen in which we become emotionally reactive – slaves to our thoughts and feelings.

Some ways you may experience this:

• You are about to lose it, you are losing it, you've lost it
• Yelling or screaming back at another in an argument
• A stream of verbal insults
• Thoughts, intention and action to physically lash out
• Uncontrollable crying

In this episode of the podcast, you'll learn about the Subjective Units of Disturbance Scale (SUDS). This is a framework used to measure the subjective intensity of distress or disturbance experienced by an individual. SUDS is a self-measuring assessment developed by Joseph Wolpe using a scale of zero to 10 to rate the level of emotional disturbance.

The benefits of becoming familiar with this scale (you don't need to know it verbatim) is that it provides an instant self-assessment reference to where you are at, in the present moment.

Because the thing with emotions is that if you can name it, you can change it – this is acknowledgement and awareness.

Using the scale and knowing where you are will allow you to pause and take action to process and ease the level of distress. This may help prevent your emotional distress from escalating, and will help you help others when they are not control of their emotions.

The problem and the solution are two sides of the same coin.

When we can understand our problem, we can understand the solution.

Our problem with other people is nothing to do with them.

It is 100% our problem.

We may know this.

But are we really living it?

Are we embodying what we know?

Are we honestly implementing it in our lives?

Truly, knowledge and awareness are nothing without understanding and action.

In this episode of the podcast, I am exploring this idea from another perspective, and I really encourage you to listen in.

If you are the problem, and if you can completely accept that, then equally, you are also the solution.

When we try to control things around us, like other people or our environment, this is a safety mechanism.

Our primal instinct is that when we feel under threat or feel let down, we immediately try and want to control the situation.

We do this when:

• We feel unsafe

• Fearful that things are not going our way

• The need to be right and get the last word in or prove someone wrong

• We have assumed without complete understanding or discussion

In this episode of the podcast, I'm sharing some examples of how this behaviour shows up, and the impact it has on other people.

You'll have an opportunity to reflect on where you might be trying to control other people and situations, and what you can do instead.

​As Marcus Aurelius put it: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

Too often we don't take action, because we are scared it will be messy.

We don't start, because we are worried that the action we are going to take is not perfect.

But what we want to do instead is begin to embrace the mess and the imperfection, understanding that whatever we do is perfect in its imperfection, and it is in our messy, imperfect action that we learn to overcome the obstacles standing in our way.

In fact, it is the only way.

It’s messy at the beginning and in the middle and sometimes at the end, and that is perfectly okay.

If you think about an area of your life you are struggling with at the moment - chances are you are struggling because your behaviour in relation to that area does not reflect your values.

The challenge we mostly face with this is that we are either:

a) not clear on our values or

b) are not living our values (consistently) through our behaviour (eg do as I say, not as I do- in other words our actions do not reflect what we say is important)

Following on from the recent episode with Dr John Demartini on Honouring Your Core Values, in this episode of the podcast we are going to be talking about how you can get clear on your values and understand the behaviours that align with them, to help you see your way through your struggle.

Get clear on your values (what you have determined is important).

And understand what that means in terms of your action (in actually living your values).

And from that place of alignment, you can begin to turn the ship around.

One of the most challenging concepts for people to accept (including those deep into the practice of self improvement and personal development) is that the world around us reflects our inner world.

The relationships, the bank balance, the number on the scales, the environment (be it toxic or healthy), the experiences – is a reflection and mirror of what is happening within.

This is big, and at times, quite an uncomfortable truth to be reminded of.

Yet, it is liberating in the sense of recognising what it reveals about ourselves.

Even better is that the solution to changing all of it for the better is within us.

In this episode of the podcast, we are talking about our ability to change our view of the outside world by turning the lens inwards, and I'm sharing with you some questions to help guide your reflection.