Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

De: A.J. Mahari
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  • Resumen

  • A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 35 years experience working with people surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation. A.J. also works with people surviving a Narcissistic Relationship Breakup or Co-Monbidly both BPD/NPD Breakup and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more.
    A.J. Mahari
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Episodios
  • Lost Yourself To A Borderline?

    Lost Yourself To A Borderline?
    Apr 23 2025
    Lost Yourself To A Borderline?

    Have you lost yourself to Borderline? A partner, Ex partner, girlfriend or boyfriend, or person close to you with Borderline Personality Disorder? Are you aware of Codependency? Are you learning any helpful lessons?

    One man blames God, calling him a "farce" after a relationship with a woman, who "trapped him into her getting pregnant" and now thinks the "farce relationship" was his relationship to and with God, when it was really the BPD relationship. This man whose comments I respond to also thinks, now, that God can't exists because Borderlines exist.

    Whether you can relate or not to this man's blaming God instead of the person with BPD and taking his small piece of personal responsibility or not please listen to see if you can relate and substitute your own lostness and feeling separated by something you valued in your life and/or about yourself before the devastation of the BPD relationship.

    ajmahari.ca/sessions
    survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast Website

    This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
    100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
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    56 m
  • BPD Idealization Phase Causes Fantasy Bonding

    BPD Idealization Phase Causes Fantasy Bonding
    Mar 17 2025
    BPD Idealization Phase Causes Fantasy Bonding
    BPD idealization in the beginning of a significant other relationship
    creates a fantasy bond. People with BPD, not having any stable sense
    of self, are intense and want (often) immediate "relationship on". After
    the person with BPD splits you to a major devaluation, you will not ever
    be able to be re-idealized.
    People with Codependency (often unaware of this) are very emotionally
    hungry - needing validation and reassurance (from childhood woundedness)
    feel fantastic, your feelings in the BPD idealization phase increase your sense
    of self-worth and self-esteem until the ruptured splits of BPD devaluation start
    happening.
    If you are ghosted and/or discarded you've lost yourself so much to focusing
    intensely on the person with BPD, trying, in vain, to get back to that beginning
    and how great everything felt. Codependents after a BPD Breakup find it feels
    next to impossible to not get that idealizing person with BPD back to re-capture
    the elusive - not ever going to happen again - idealization phase and who you
    thought the person with BPD was.

    https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact - Blog
    https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcasts & Blog
    https://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & more
    This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
    100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
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    28 m
  • Borderline Betrayal Its Insidious Impact on You

    Borderline Betrayal Its Insidious Impact on You
    Mar 14 2025
    Borderline Betrayal and Its Insidious Impact on You

    Borderline betrayal and its negative, painful impact on you.
    Anyone close to any person with BPD will experience Borderline
    Betrayal and the very real consequences to "self" that result from
    BPD betrayal.

    People with Codependency have a suggestible enough core wound
    that the impact of Borderline betrayal causes untold damage,
    rumination, cognitive dissonance, self-abandonment, and often longing
    for the person with BPD who betrayed you to still be in relationship with you
    or needing so badly to understand, to not feel like everything was your fault.

    The immense struggle of lack of closure also takes its toll in more cases than not.

    https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
    https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com

    This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
    100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
    Más Menos
    45 m
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Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

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maybe not for you?

as the comment currently shown when scrolling past this podcast claims heartbreak from the way bpd is discussed, perhaps you are experiencing emotional pain from realizing that you're kind of a terrible person when going through the described cycles of behavior? If so instead of being heartbroken go to therapy and stop propagating these, basically true and honest, perceptions of those people interacting with those with the diagnosis.
use this as a test. remove the label, it doesn't matter what but in this case dbt I think. now it's just a person that will engage another individual, happily establish what appears to be a healthy relationship, and then suddenly act as if their former partner is the source of all their problems and refuse to ever talk to them again never saying why.
when anyone else in the world behaves like that they are called many things, and really, none flattering. BUT! just like the podcast says (if you listen and attempt to improve your life and thus those who try to love you rather than go straight to uhh heartbreak) going to therapy can help and one day you'll be able to be with someone without the inevitable dumpster fire that always happens. and it's not the fault of everyone else in the world, it's definitely the person with the matches and dumpster.
go. to. therapy.

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Unbelievably Negative

This is the worst podcast series ever! The speaker is extremely negative and demeaning towards BPD. I cant help but to feel discouraged, unworthy and hopeless by this series! Completely heartbreaking.

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Absolutely Inaccurate

It's people like her that give BPD a stigma. As a person diagnosed with BPD, I can tell you that this doctor is trying to sway the perception of people diagnosed with BPD in a bad light. We do know how to have a successful intimate relationship. We know who we are and our worth. So trying to be heard and understood is not us, projecting it onto our partner, rather its us trying to have healthy communication addressing normal needs and concerns within the relationship. Is it for fear of abandonment or fear of losing the relationship? Yes, absolutely. it's called trying to find a resolution to everyday relationship problems. Something healthy relationships require. So quit trying to make it something it is not. We are not dramatic. It may seem that way when the other party refuses to contribute to coming to a mutual understanding on what is borderlines are trying to address. and not all of us are violent or give the silent treatment. Some just want to be heard and understood. To feel validated. Like any human being. I would appreciate it if you did not portray us as unstable people incapable of having good relationships.

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A bitter rant about a misunderstood group

As the spouse of someone with BPD, I am well aware of the heartache and frustration that can be caused by those with BPD. However, this podcast is simply someone ranting about their negative experiences with BPD individuals, by someone who has not bothered to take the time to try to understand individuals who suffer from this diagnosis. Despite their challenges and inappropriate behaviors, individuals with BPD can also be creative, loving, insightful, and fun to be around. I will not pretend that dealing with BPD individuals is always easy, but the black & white/good & evil view of of this disorder voiced in this podcast is simply ignorant & inaccurate.

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Thank You

Thank you for your well informed and truthful discussions . I listen to all of your videos . This has helped keep me together as I try to not reverse hover my ex. He told me he would marry me 5 times always coming up with excuses and empty promises. It was my responsibility to not continually enable or stay sitting in this mistreatment. We have the power to value ourselves and take back our lives

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So helpful

AJ has been through it and really understands the pain and confusion one experiences in a relationship with pwbpd. Her advice is spot on with no unnecessary fluff and has helped keep me grounded. She definitely keeps it real.

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