Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups By cover art

Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

By: A.J. Mahari
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  • Summary

  • A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 34 years experience working with those surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more.
    A.J. Mahari
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Episodes
  • Stop The Cycle of Bpd's Using You As An Atm and a Vending Machine

    Stop The Cycle of Bpd's Using You As An Atm and a Vending Machine
    May 18 2024
    Stop The Cycle of Bpd's Using You As An Atm and a Vending Machine In Relationship Recycling

    Are you someone still in a relationship or in the on/off BPD Breakup relationship recycling with a person with (especially untreated) BPD? You are likely someone with Codependency. Codependents - BPD Ex's or partners and Ex-on/off partners of Borderlines are BPD ATM & vending machines on empty as each cycle rollercoaster ride takes more and more from you, depleting you as you continue to lose yourself more and more. You can't make the relationships work - fantasy bonded relationship impossibility.

    https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

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    18 mins
  • Losing Yourself Trying To Nurture and Aid a Borderline?

    Losing Yourself Trying To Nurture and Aid a Borderline?
    May 6 2024
    Losing Yourself Trying to Nurture and Aid a Borderline?

    In a response to a Codependent commenter on a video I did about Borderlines Lying and
    manipulation whether it is on purpose, calcuulated or not - it is what it is, this
    person who left a semi=hostile but Codependent denying comment thought that it should
    be possible for partners, Ex's or friends of someone with BPD to nurture them and aid
    them as they stressed this MUST be possible. No, it really isn't.

    This person's Codependent denial "take-away" they ascribe to my video is evidence of their own denial and twisting of what I said because they don't want to or aren't ready to realize the
    reality that one needs to find outside of a tantasy bond with a Borderline, You need to
    take care of yourself, not continue to think or believe or fantasize about nurturing and
    aiding - rescuing, changing, or fixing a person with BPD while you are being traumatized
    and keep losing more and more of yourself and getting more confused about why "love"
    hurts so much.

    https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
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    34 mins
  • BPD Quiet Discouraged Subtype Specific Traits and Shocking Discards

    BPD Quiet Discouraged Subtype Specific Traits and Shocking Discards
    Mar 21 2024
    BPD Quiet Discouraged Subtype Specific Traits and Shocking Discards

    The quiet Borderline subtype known and described as the Discouraged Borderline. A look at this presentation and manifestation of Borderline Personality Disorder.

    The specific Quiet BPD subtype traits are discussed as well as the reasons why a Discouraged Borderline's shocking discard is one of the most painful relationship endings. Cold discards by the Quiet Borderline that are not your fault.

    https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
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    54 mins
Psychology Hygiene & Healthy Living Social Sciences Personal Success Relationships
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Profile Image for Mr swaff

maybe not for you?

as the comment currently shown when scrolling past this podcast claims heartbreak from the way bpd is discussed, perhaps you are experiencing emotional pain from realizing that you're kind of a terrible person when going through the described cycles of behavior? If so instead of being heartbroken go to therapy and stop propagating these, basically true and honest, perceptions of those people interacting with those with the diagnosis.
use this as a test. remove the label, it doesn't matter what but in this case dbt I think. now it's just a person that will engage another individual, happily establish what appears to be a healthy relationship, and then suddenly act as if their former partner is the source of all their problems and refuse to ever talk to them again never saying why.
when anyone else in the world behaves like that they are called many things, and really, none flattering. BUT! just like the podcast says (if you listen and attempt to improve your life and thus those who try to love you rather than go straight to uhh heartbreak) going to therapy can help and one day you'll be able to be with someone without the inevitable dumpster fire that always happens. and it's not the fault of everyone else in the world, it's definitely the person with the matches and dumpster.
go. to. therapy.

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Profile Image for Leah C

Unbelievably Negative

This is the worst podcast series ever! The speaker is extremely negative and demeaning towards BPD. I cant help but to feel discouraged, unworthy and hopeless by this series! Completely heartbreaking.

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Profile Image for Anonymous User

Absolutely Inaccurate

It's people like her that give BPD a stigma. As a person diagnosed with BPD, I can tell you that this doctor is trying to sway the perception of people diagnosed with BPD in a bad light. We do know how to have a successful intimate relationship. We know who we are and our worth. So trying to be heard and understood is not us, projecting it onto our partner, rather its us trying to have healthy communication addressing normal needs and concerns within the relationship. Is it for fear of abandonment or fear of losing the relationship? Yes, absolutely. it's called trying to find a resolution to everyday relationship problems. Something healthy relationships require. So quit trying to make it something it is not. We are not dramatic. It may seem that way when the other party refuses to contribute to coming to a mutual understanding on what is borderlines are trying to address. and not all of us are violent or give the silent treatment. Some just want to be heard and understood. To feel validated. Like any human being. I would appreciate it if you did not portray us as unstable people incapable of having good relationships.

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Profile Image for sonora

Thank You

Thank you for your well informed and truthful discussions . I listen to all of your videos . This has helped keep me together as I try to not reverse hover my ex. He told me he would marry me 5 times always coming up with excuses and empty promises. It was my responsibility to not continually enable or stay sitting in this mistreatment. We have the power to value ourselves and take back our lives

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A bitter rant about a misunderstood group

As the spouse of someone with BPD, I am well aware of the heartache and frustration that can be caused by those with BPD. However, this podcast is simply someone ranting about their negative experiences with BPD individuals, by someone who has not bothered to take the time to try to understand individuals who suffer from this diagnosis. Despite their challenges and inappropriate behaviors, individuals with BPD can also be creative, loving, insightful, and fun to be around. I will not pretend that dealing with BPD individuals is always easy, but the black & white/good & evil view of of this disorder voiced in this podcast is simply ignorant & inaccurate.

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Profile Image for Dylan Newsome

So helpful

AJ has been through it and really understands the pain and confusion one experiences in a relationship with pwbpd. Her advice is spot on with no unnecessary fluff and has helped keep me grounded. She definitely keeps it real.

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