In this deeply personal episode, Ryan opens up about his own divorce - how it unfolded, what he learned, and how men can navigate their own journey with strength and integrity. Drawing from experience and thousands of conversations with men, Ryan shares five things NOT to do and five things TO do when facing divorce.

He reminds listeners that divorce, while painful, doesn’t have to be the end - it can be the start of rebuilding your life with purpose, clarity, and resilience.

Key Takeaways
Five Don’ts:
- Don’t sedate yourself - Avoid alcohol, porn, or distractions that numb growth.
- Don’t stalk your ex - Cut off emotional dependence and focus forward.
- Don’t sleep around - Don’t use others to fill emotional voids.
- Don’t seek vengeance or self-harm - You’re needed, and life can get better.
- Don’t watch porn - It distorts intimacy and respect for women.

Five Do’s:
- Build male friendships - Brotherhood is essential for healing and accountability.
- Develop new skills - Strengthen your financial and professional foundation.
- Learn a new hobby - Rediscover fun, joy, and adventure.
- Train your body - Rebuild strength, confidence, and vitality.
- Give back - Serving others heals your own pain.

Resources & Mentions

Divorce Not Death Program: divorcenotdeath.com
Email Ryan: ryan@orderofman.com
Follow on Instagram: @ryanmickler

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 - Intro
00:31 - The Moment It Happened
02:54 - Hitting Rock Bottom
04:54 - The Don’ts: Avoid Sedation
07:17 - Don’t Stalk or Chase
09:42 - Don’t Sleep Around
12:03 - Don’t End It All
13:50 - Don’t Seek Vengeance
16:17 - The Do’s: Build Brotherhood
18:39 - Develop Skills & Wealth
21:01 - Learn to Have Fun Again
23:19 - Train Your Body
25:18 - Give Back
26:50 - Divorce Not Death
28:30 - Closing Thoughts

Battle Planners: Pick yours up today!

Order Ryan's new book, The Masculinity Manifesto.

For more information on the Iron Council brotherhood.

Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready

In this week’s Ask Me Anything, Ryan Michler and guest co-host Jay Jairdullo tackle powerful questions from members of the Iron Council and the broader Order of Man community. They dive into overcoming complacency after success, saving a struggling marriage, the real key to consistency, and finding clarity amid diet confusion.

Ryan also shares guidance on battling depression, building self-worth, and mastering emotional regulation. This episode is packed with wisdom, frameworks, and honest stories that every man can apply to become stronger and more grounded in purpose.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 – Intro and catch-up with Jay
01:26 – Setting new goals and avoiding complacency
07:42 – Navigating marital separation and self-improvement
17:31 – Why some men thrive in the Iron Council
34:18 – Using the Pareto Principle
42:51 – Overcoming depression and learning self-love
48:35 – Managing emotions and staying calm
56:21 – Final thoughts and Iron Council invitation

Battle Planners: Pick yours up today!

Order Ryan's new book, The Masculinity Manifesto.

For more information on the Iron Council brotherhood.

Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready

Early in my self-development days, I would only consume non-fiction, self-help books. It seemed to be doing the trick but I became more consumed with the amount of books I read at the expense of actually improving my life. Then a friend encouraged me to read fiction every once in a while. Shortly thereafter, my friend Jack Carr, released his first book, Terminal List – which I devoured.

And, Jack Carr is back with me again to talk about his newest book, Cry Havoc. But we talk a whole lot more than just the book. We cover how best to cultivate a new skill set (be it writing or something else), the importance of exercising the brain, making yourself better through wisdom, worrying about only what you can control, and the value of fictional work on your self-development journey.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 - Catching up with Jack Carr and reflecting on The Terminal List beginnings
01:23 - How publishing has changed and the modern author’s battlefield
05:21 - Gratitude, readers, and using social media for good
09:21 - Why Jack identifies first and foremost as an author
10:49 - Reading as a foundation: how fiction shaped Jack’s life
14:28 - Reading for joy versus studying the craft
18:13 - Military service as a calling before writing
21:46 - Why fiction develops empathy and frees the mind
25:51 - Audiobooks as a “gateway drug” back to reading
26:48 - Fiction versus visual media and the power of imagination
30:10 - Writing for the screen vs. writing for the page
31:02 - The art of storytelling and how Jack builds his novels
33:10 - How to write a better book (and why Jack ignores trends)
40:09 - Creative freedom, editors, and Hollywood contrasts
43:37 - Historical accuracy and the making of Cry Havoc
47:28 - Jack’s take on AI and creativity
48:53 - Authentic connection with readers and fans
52:00 - Sharing the author’s journey in the digital age
54:03 - The discipline of long-form creation and interruptions
58:23 - What’s next: research trips, nonfiction, and new directions
59:38 - Launching Cry Havoc and closing reflections

Battle Planners: Pick yours up today!

Order Ryan's new book, The Masculinity Manifesto.

For more information on the Iron Council brotherhood.

Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready