For some of us, turning 80 is right around the corner; for others, 80 might seem a lifetime away. No matter your age, listening to the stories of older women and the wisdom they’ve earned can be instructive and uplifting.

I don’t know about you, but every time I read about someone who has lived beyond the current life expectancy averages of 79.3 years for women and 73.5 years for men, I give a fist pump and feel even more optimistic about my chances of spending more time creating a legacy and enjoying life.

Katharine Esty will celebrate her ninetieth birthday later this year. For her, being in your 80s hasn't meant focusing on survival. "It is," she says, “a time to enjoy a full life with people we love. Relationships are what matter most in life."

Living as an eightyomething today is much different from how it used to be. There are more people in their 80s than ever before. People are healthier and unexpectedly happy. "The stereotypes of people in their eighties as frail, uninvolved, lonely are so untrue," says Katharine. "The vast majority are doing all kinds of interesting "stuff," living independently, and enjoying the gift of longevity.


But what about all the loss that eightysomethings will suffer? How can you be happy with so much heartbreak and with the end zone in view? How can you make new, younger friends? What about this business of being grateful? Is it a bunch of psycho-babble?

Katharine Etsy takes us on a journey of eightysomethings and introduces us to a group of older women and men who are happier now than ever. She shares their secrets and her own. You don't hear many people say, "Oh, I'm so excited! I turn 80 in two weeks!"

After listening to this conversation, you might change your mind.

www.KatharineEsty.com

https://www.amazon.com/Eightysomethings-audiobook/dp/B07QG435WJ/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.W7QCvKnVBepwHGKDFaKA614cBJ6KZvLDor1aceAgkEv3NDx3skgAQVM4AXDOyNZ_ZT8h48PCmnwLIBgIAcKjtw.KjAJ-Wb9kHSts5mgdju0TNZoe3lOby4bBB6ZxCInKFI&dib_tag=se&qid=1713821841&refinements=p_27%3AKatharine+Esty&s=books&sr=1-1&text=Katharine+Esty

I believe in the power of stories, and Yvonne Marchese's story is a doozy. She is what she calls a "serial pivotal," person, a person who has changed course many times in her life. For many years, she was filled with frustration, anger, and even depression. The future held little promise. But when she was in her late 40s, she had what she calls a "Mid-Life Awakening," not a Mid-Life Crisis.

Yvonne began to understand why she'd never been comfortable with the uncomfortable and the steps that lead to emotional and physical health. Three years ago, she launched her podcast, "Late Bloomer Living" and has not looked back. She takes listeners on a journey as she and her guests talk about what it means to try new things in mid-life and beyond. "It is not about changing yourself," she says, "but about changing how you think about yourself.

"You are not too late. It is never too late."

Today, Yvonne is not only the host of her podcast but a photographer, speaker, mother, and wife. She is smart, involved, and funny.

On a personal note, it is exciting to hear from women a few decades younger than I am (Yikes!) who are getting their acts together and discovering how to age with zest and enthusiasm. There is no dread here, only excitement about the here and now and the future.

https://www.latebloomerliving.com/
https://www.latebloomerliving.com/community
https://www.latebloomerliving.com/community

In the late 70s, Jan Yager was single and convinced she'd never find a life partner. So, she turned her attention, research, and writing to the importance of friendships and the many ways friends impact our lives. Studies show that a network of good friends makes our lives more satisfying and that, as we age, it is important to replenish our circle of friends.

Yager divides friends into three categories: best, close, and casual. Although there are no hard and fast numbers, she suggests we need one to two best friends, four to six close friends, and, for better or worse, a slew of casual friends like those we meet through social media.

But what happens when a best or close friend betrays, abandons, or wounds us? How do we decide if the friendship is salvageable? How can we try to fix things? Or what can we do if the friendship is no longer worth maintaining? Breaking up with a dear friend can be as traumatic as breaking up with a partner, a family member, or a professional mentor.

With decades of experience as a sociologist, friendship coach, author, and speaker, Jan is the go-to expert. You may be surprised at some of what she has to say and appreciate the concrete tools she provides.

www. Drjanyager.com

When Friendship Hurts: How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You

Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives

Friendgevity: Making and Keeping the Friends Who Enhance and Even ExtendYour Life

For a selection of other books by Jan Yager, go to
http://www.Drjanyager.com

One of the first questions I ask a guest is to describe her childhood. It never fails that the child they describe is in so many ways the older woman they’ve become, As either a Jesuit or Aristotle said, “Show me a child until he (she) is seven and I will show you the man (woman.)” Diana Place is the founder of the 333 Collective, QUEST Gathering & Celebration for women 50+, & Third Act Quest.

So, what was the young Diana like? Until the age of five, she was a “totally free spirit” who climbed trees, chased butterflies, and put dog poop in holes so that neighbor kids would – well, you get it. She loved art, loved to create, and loved to have fun. But when she started school, she was forced to "color within the lines." And she learned the hard way what you can and cannot say. She told a so-called friend that their teacher had a "wrinkly" face. From that point on, this girl threatened to tell their teacher. Diana made her first interpersonal blip and suffered the consequences.

But that lesson informed the person she has become. She understands responsibility, is excited about life, and is open to possibility.

Diana was forced to use all those tools when she faced a serious cancer diagnosis while at the same time dealing with an empty nest and the loss of a business. You’ll love her story of a survivor who put fear in the backseat and found her “calling” to reimagine aging, encouraging other women 50+ to rewrite their stories, and embracing the third act as the best, most exciting times in their lives.

www.thirdactquest.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dianadunbarplace/
https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7173303695055523840/

If you read Bonnie Marcus' second book, Not Done Yet, and listen to her podcast, "Badass Women At Any Age," you'll discover a woman who knows her sh-- and isn't afraid to tell readers and listeners that she's pissed, real pissed, because older women in the workplace continue to be overlooked and passed over. Bonnie may have you laughing with her sassy, savvy approach, but there is a method to her madness---or should I say badassness?

Bonnie worked in corporate America for twenty years before she left and became a certified executive coach whose clients are professional women 50+. She aims to help women own the power of age and to "stop playing small." If Bonnie has one underlying piece of advice, it is to pay attention and be aware of the potential roadblocks that women of all ages face in the workplace because if you know what's coming, you can position yourself to stay important and marketable.

My experiences in corporate America were few and far between. But if I'd chosen that path, I would have wanted a mentor like Bonnie to help pave the way.

bonniemarcusleadership.com
Not Done Yet: How Women Over 50 Regain Their Confidence & Claim Workplace Power
The Politics of Promotion: How High-Achieving Women Get Ahead and Stay Ahead
Podcast: "Badass Women At Any Age." Available wherever you listen to podcasts.

Please share your feedback at speakpipe.com/olderwomenandfriends

Either you or someone you know is single for the first time in decades. Add to that the number of older adults, particularly women, who have been widowed, and you are in a tsunami of people 65+ who are looking for love.

Author, journalist, and relationship expert Francine Russo knows more than most about the loss of a partner. She has been widowed twice, first when she was 46 after an 18-year marriage. A decade later, she married her second husband, who died five years later. Those losses would send most of us into a corner, sucking our thumbs. Not Francine. Sure, there were months/years of grieving and heartache. But she stands today as a seventy-seven-year-old living happily with an eighty-one-year-old man.

What did Francine learn about herself during her journey? What did she discover about what she calls the required “headwork” to be done before we can hope to find love after fifty? What are suggestions for dealing with all kinds of potential stumbling blocks like finances, adult children from a previous marriage, and differences in culture and religion?

Tune in to this episode of “Older Women & Friends.” You won’t be disappointed.

https://francinerusso.com
Love After 50: How To Find It, Enjoy It, and Keep It - Available Online on all book sites

It's become a cliche: older women in the media are portrayed as mothers, grandmothers, washed-up lovers, mother-in-laws. Think of the invasive mother-in-law in "Everyone Loves Raymond." And the same goes for "Steinfeld." And then think of how men in their 60s, particularly in movies, are paired with women in their late 20s or early 30s. James Bond gets older every year, and the Bond girls get younger. And then there's the Going Gray bru-ha-ha when women stopped coloring their hair during the Pandemic and, when they returned to work as, say TV anchors, they were given an ultimatum: Get rid of the gray or leave.

But all is not lost, says Susan Douglas, award-winning author and professor of Communication Studies, at the University of Michigan. "Things have started to change in large part because there are more women 50+ than at any time in our history," says Douglas. "Older women want to see reflections of themselves in the media, and A-listers want to keep on working, fighting for better roles. Older women are a market, and for better or worse, our buying power puts pressure on film studios, broadcast media, and advertisers.

"We are at a turnstile moment," says Douglas. "There are those who want to push forward, while others want to push back. There is progress but not as much as older women want.

Do you see more accurate reflections of older women in the media? Do you agree or disagree with Susan's research?

https://susanjdouglas.com/

If you want to record a question about the portrayal of women in the media or anything else related to "Older Women & Friends," go to:
https://www.speakpipe.com/olderwomenandfriends
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I’m a big fan of the AARP Bulletin and was particularly taken by a cover article titled Super Agers. I’d never heard that term before. Is a Super Ager someone whose appearance belies their age? Or is it someone who can do the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle in pencil? Or are we talking about something much bigger? Who better to answer my questions than cognitive neuroscientist Emily Rogalski, director of the Super Aging Research Initiative at the University of Chicago?
Emily does a stellar job of talking about the human brain and the many ways our memory can be affected both positively and negatively. Many people think they have a good memory, but super agers are quite rare. Less than ten percent of the men and women 80+ that sign up to participate in her studies at the Super Agers Research Initiative meet the scientific criteria. We’re talking about a memory as sharp as folks twenty to thirty years younger! That leaves me out.
Studying that ten percent is providing keys to successful aging, as well as clues to what goes awry in cases of dementia.
Lucky genes don't fully explain why some older people have the memory of “an elephant.” Is it a diet that makes the difference? Exercise? Social connections? Good mental health, low stress? Do the brains of super-agers look and behave differently? You bet.

Join Dr. Rogalski and me for a rousing discussion about people who are living long and living well, and why others are not. And, who knows, maybe you're a super ager.

Discover more about Emily and the SuperAgers Research Initiative.

https://voices.uchicago.edu/haarc/join/

https://neurology.uchicago.edu/news/emily-rogalski

https://www.linkedin.com/in/emily-rogalski-phd-642204/

https://twitter.com/ERogalskiPhD