One only has to see the news for five minutes, and the all too easy trap of enabling reveals its ugly head - a trap many caregivers understand.

What can be done - what's our responsibility?

I discuss that and more in this Hope for the Caregiver episode.

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There’s nothing quite like caring for someone with challenges or impairments to expose the gunk in one’s soul. Regardless of our best intentions, when selfishness rears its ugly head, our jaws can quickly tighten—and our fists clench.

As a pianist, my hands must always remain open to make beautiful music. As caregivers, what kind of music do we forfeit when resentment curls our hands into fists?

Try pushing a wheelchair with clenched fists. (Not with your loved one in it—use an empty one!) It’s challenging to do so. Clenched fists accomplish few tasks; it seems fighting is the only suitable task for them.

Caregiving will push all our buttons. People who tell you differently haven’t done it long enough. Yet, in those moments when seeing our character defects, we can remind ourselves to unclench our fists—and hearts—and allow beautiful music to flow from our souls.

Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. And let it go. —Unknown

My friend once jokingly called me "America's Caregiver," and while it seemed over-the-top, the concept stuck with me.

As I watch our nation grapple with profound challenges—such as the porous southern border leading to illegal immigration, our staggering national debt, and a growing disconnect from what it means to be American—I can't help but draw parallels between the principles that sustain family caregivers and those that could fortify our entire nation.

In this episode, we explore how those fundamental principles that guide family caregivers can be applied to address these critical issues.

Consider the principle of boundaries: just as caregivers must maintain healthy boundaries in every relationship, does that concept translate to illegal immigration effectively while upholding our values of compassion and security?

Or take finances: Caregivers face immense financial challenges, and budgets become paramount in our lives. Likewise, America must confront its national debt with determination and long-term planning to secure our economic future.

Lastly, the concept of American identity: caregivers understand how easy it is to lose one's identity. Similarly, our nation now grapples with what it truly means to be American.

Join me as we delve into specific strategies and actionable insights that can empower us to navigate these pressing challenges and equip our nation to become healthier. Just like healthy caregivers make better caregivers, healthy nations make better nations.

From a major milestone to "the secret of triumph" to precision pastoring, we cover quite a bit of ground in this Hope for the Caregiver episode.

www.hopeforthecaregiver.com

Losing her tennis phenom mother to cancer at 12 years old, Cindy felt God was punishing her by allowing her mom to die.

A few years later, a friend helped her understand the Gospel - and that knowledge grew to a sustaining faith when cancer once again invaded Cindy's life.

www.brinkersimmons.com

Recall a situation where you witnessed an adult overreacting. Did it catch you off-guard? Did it make you uneasy? A psychiatrist friend once shared a valuable insight with his team: "When you see a patient overreact or act out, always remember there's a story behind that behavior."

Understanding this 'story' is crucial for caregivers dealing with individuals exhibiting frenetic or hyper behavior, as it allows them to approach the situation with empathy and patience.

Adults don't lose self-control in a vacuum—there's a build-up and a story behind their behavior. When caregivers find themselves in the unpleasant predicament of engaging an individual with frenetic or hyper behavior, it's helpful to remember that the behavior is more significant than the moment.

Reminding ourselves that "there's a story" enables us to speak to the deeper issues driving the outburst—which often requires assurance rather than reason. Arguing with a long-term wound is futile. Caring for that wound and its symptoms remains a more effective response. As caregivers, we encounter those panicking about pocket-sized problems. Outbursts of a temporary or minor problem are rooted in a long journey that could stretch back a lifetime. Detaching from the immediate eruption allows us to understand better and address the volcanic turbulence behind the explosion.

However, it starts with us remembering, "If it's hysterical, it's historical" - and there's always a story behind the behavior.

We are not makers of history. We are made by history. —Martin Luther King Jr.

Kelly O'Connor joined my program today to discuss how she's helping families navigate the complexity of caregiving - particularly with seniors.

Kelly and Gracie grew up together - and Kelly is one of us. Not only does she have SIGNIFICANT caregiving experience, but look what she's done with it.

With specialized certifications in Gerontology, Dementia Care, and Life Coaching and a master's degree in Spiritual Psychology, Kelly brings over 14 years of dedicated experience to the table. Having assisted nearly 2,000 individuals and their families, her insights are a treasure trove for those navigating the complexities of aging. Whether it's providing caregiver coaching or empowering older adults to embrace their next chapter, she offers compassionate guidance rooted in profound expertise. Join us as we delve into her wealth of knowledge and discover how she's transforming lives one conversation at a time. Connect with her and explore the possibilities at Calendly - Kelly O'Connor, MA, CSA, CPRS, CDP

Get on her calendar for a conversation - no strings attached. Tell her I sent you, and you can trust her. She really knows what she's doing - and has helped a lot of folks through some rough patches.

https://calendly.com/kellyoconnor

Following the loss of her own legs, Gracie resolved to provide quality prosthetic limbs for fellow amputees. In 2005, she and I developed a unique partnership with the Ghana Health Service to train and equip local workers to fabricate limbs for their own people. We call it Standing With Hope.

Click here to Donate

Click here to recycle a prosthetic limb