Most of us want to be seen, heard, and understood, but the fear of judgment can stop us from doing so. Whether it’s being more social, speaking your feelings, or sharing creative work, putting yourself out there can feel risky, especially when we’ve been conditioned to play it safe due to past hurt or rejection.

In this episode, we’re sharing: 👉 Our personal journeys from shy and self-conscious to being more visible 👉 The fears that held us back, and sometimes still do 👉 How we want to be perceived vs. showing up authentically 👉 What helps us keep showing up, even when it’s uncomfortable

If you’ve ever held back because you’re scared of what people might think, this episode is for you.

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio
• Matt Landsiedel
• Reno Johnston

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

We all know self-love is important, but what happens when it goes too far in the wrong direction?

In this episode, Michael DiIorio is joined by therapist Michael Pezzullo for an honest conversation about the shadow side of self-love. Together, they explore:

• The difference between self-comforting and self-coddling
• How emotional sensitivity can become emotional fragility
• Why self-bulldozing is just as harmful as avoidance
• The four zones of the Self-Love Spectrum
• How trauma impacts the way we “love” ourselves
• How to tell if you're truly healing…or just hiding.

You’ll learn about the Self-Love Spectrum, the signs of self-coddling and self-bulldozing, and how to practice a more empowering, growth-oriented version of self-love- without abandoning your need for care and compassion.

Join us for an episode that will help you get honest about how you love yourself, and what real self-love actually looks like.

Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo

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• Instagram

Today's Host: Michael DiIorio

• Website
• Instagram

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Some of us didn’t choose to become lone wolves—we were shaped into them. Many gay men have learned to rely only on themselves, and while that self-sufficiency can feel empowering, it often comes at the cost of connection and intimacy.

In this personal and vulnerable episode, Michael and Matt open up about their own lone wolf energy—where it comes from, how it’s served them, and the moments when it became more isolating than empowering.

Together, we’re unpacking:

• The origin stories of our lone wolf instincts
• The protective thoughts that sound strong but hide deeper wounds
• What makes us want to cut people off—and what’s really underneath that urge
• How this energy shows up in dating and relationships
• And how to honour your need for space without shutting people out

Whether you identify as a lone wolf or love someone who does, this episode will help you navigate the delicate balance between fierce independence and meaningful connection.

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio
• Matt Landsiedel

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.