Do you find yourself putting other people’s needs ahead of your own? Struggle to set boundaries? Feel responsible for keeping the peace even when it costs you your authenticity?

In this episode, gay therapist Michael Pezzullo joins Michael to go deeper into the roots of people pleasing—especially why so many gay men fall into this pattern. We’ll explore how people pleasing shows up in everyday life, why it’s so hard to stop, and how the fear of conflict and rejection keeps us from showing up fully in our relationships.

We’ll also discuss:

• How to recognize when you’re people pleasing (and why it’s not the same as being kind)
• The impact people pleasing has on your self-confidence and relationships
• Why gay men are especially prone to it
• How to handle the fear of disappointing others
• What you can do to finally break the cycle

If you’re ready to stop performing for approval and start living with more authenticity, this episode is for you.

Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo

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Today's Host: Michael DiIorio

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• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
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• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Many gay men struggle with saying no, setting boundaries, or engaging in difficult conversations due to deep-seated people-pleasing tendencies and fear of conflict. But staying silent often leads to resentment, burnout, or feeling disconnected from your true self.

As recovering people-pleasers themselves, Matt and Michael have plenty to share about their own journeys toward becoming more assertive in their boundaries.

In this episode, we dive into:

• The difference between people-pleasing, healthy compromise, and values-based choices
• Practical strategies to speak up with confidence and authenticity
• How to set boundaries and say no without guilt or fear

If you’ve ever found yourself saying “yes” when you really meant “no” or avoiding confrontation at the cost of your own needs, this conversation is for you!

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio
• Matt Landsiedel

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, Matt speaks with Psychotherapist, Merle Yost, about how shame may influence sexual desire and arousal by eroticizing shame as a way of coping with it. Merle shares his story about being sexually molested by his father and the impact this had on his sexual development. Join us for this interesting topic that is often not talked about but deeply impacts many of us.

The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are:

• What does it mean to eroticize shame?
• How do shame and desire become intertwined?
• What is dissociation, and how can someone overcome it?
• Why is there so much sexual compulsivity in the gay community?
• What are some common ways people turn shame into pleasure in BDSM, kink, or other erotic practices?
• How can someone safely explore these dynamics without reinforcing negative self-perceptions?
• Can eroticizing shame be a healing experience? If so, how?
• How can someone tell if they are using this exploration in a healthy or unhealthy way?

Today's Guest: Merle Yost

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Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel

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Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Communication is at the heart of every relationship—whether it’s with friends, partners, colleagues, or even yourself. But what does it actually mean to be a strong communicator? In this episode, we’re diving into the key skills that make conversations more effective, engaging, and authentic.

Join us as we discuss:

• What makes a strong communicator?
• The role of emotional intelligence in communication
• Common barriers that create conflict and misunderstandings
• Practical tips to improve your listening and speaking skills

Whether you want to deepen your connections, set clearer boundaries, or simply get your point across without second-guessing yourself, this episode will give you insights to help you communicate with more clarity and impact.

Related Link: Authentic Relating and Empowerment for Gay Men

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio
• Matt Landsiedel
• Reno Johnston

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

They didn’t teach us about gay sex in school… so we had to teach ourselves. From porn to awkward trial-and-error hookups, most of us pieced together our own “education”—for better or worse.

In this episode, Michael is joined by porn star turned sex educator, Patrick Marano, to talk about the sex ed we should have had, how we’ve had to create it for ourselves, and why stigma and censorship still keep gay men in the dark. Some of the topics covered in this episode:

🔹 How conventional sex education fails gay men 🔹 How porn, hookups, and our peers became our teachers (for better or worse) 🔹 How silence and secrecy fuel sexual shame 🔹 What we’re still learning today 🔹 How censorship and misinformation prevent us from getting the info we need 🔹 How to take control of your own sex education

Plus: Our favourite resources, communities, and channels for the sex education we actually deserve.

Join Michael’s Sexual Empowerment Men’s Group

🎟 Use code GMGD to get 25% off!

Today's Guest: Patrick Marano

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Today's Host: Michael DiIorio

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Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Is your dating profile truly showing the best version of you? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're diving into the do's and don'ts of crafting a profile that is aligned with what you’re truly looking for. On the apps, your profile is the first impression that counts so whether you're looking for love, fun, or meaningful connections, it matters.

Some topics we’ll discuss:

• What it means to show your authentic self without being cringy
• Choosing the best photos
• Crafting a bio that stands out.
• Common profile pitfalls
• How to be clear without being overly rigid
• Balancing confidence with humility
• How we communicate on apps

Tune in for tips, insights, and takeaways to help you create a profile that attracts the right matches and reflects the real you.

Join Michael's FREE one-time workshop where we'll give your dating profile a glow up: The Dating App Glow Up

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio
• Matt Landsiedel
• Reno Johnston

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Join us as we take a deep dive into the impact of dating apps on both our personal lives and the gay community at large. We get candid about how these apps have shaped our experience of dating and relating with other guys. From mindless swiping and ghosting to feeling used and disconnected, we explore the darker side of app culture while offering practical tips to create healthier, more positive experiences on dating apps.

Tune in for discussions on:

• The personal toll of app addiction
• The good, the bad, and the ugly side of dating apps
• How have the apps changed the gay community– for better or worse?
• Tips to maintain a positive relationship with dating apps.
• How to know when it’s time to take a break

Whether you're a fan of the apps or ready to delete them altogether, this episode will inspire you to reflect on how they fit into your love life and community connections.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• 6 Signs It’s Time to Take a Break from Dating Apps
• Addiction & Recovery Part 1
• Addiction & Recovery Part 2

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio
• Matt Landsiedel
• Reno Johnston

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.