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Recently my life of skirting the law caught up to me…..twice. My attempt to thumb my nose at the Deep State was met with the power of law enforcement when I was pulled over at two different times for the transgression of an expired inspection sticker for my car. It is now the month of June and my sticker expired in May…..of 2024. So that means for you keeping score at home that the last time my car was inspected was May 2023.

Both times that I was pulled over in the span of one week, I was asked the same question: why did you let your sticker expire for so long?

Fair question. But to provide an honest answer I would have to dig into why I have any of the unhelpful patterns in my life. At first I just forgot to get it done. Then I got ashamed I didn’t get it done. Then that shame just became a larger pattern of my life which came to define me. Then to get it fixed would be to wonder who would I be without that expired sticker?

After the second time getting pulled over, I promised the officers that I would right away get it fixed. And true to my word, I did. $35 and 15 minutes later, I now have a 2026 expiration sticker. I have to say that I feel oddly relieved.

I also have to say that in both cases the officers were extraordinarily nice, and included one trainee who did a fine job with approaching my car.

I think the moral of the story here is that we sometimes need help from others to get over the old patterns of our lives and to create new patterns that allow us to move on in healthier and better directions.

My guest today on Experience by Design also has built a business to help people create a new version of themselves. Anya Cheng is the Founder and CEO of Taelor, a leading men’s clothing subscription service that provides personal styling and curated rentals for their customers. But that’s not all. They help their customers through a combination of expert stylists and AI. So when we are looking for example of AI being used for good, here you go. When you look amazing in your new outfit and people ask, Where did you get that? You can say, AI.

It’s not surprising that AI can help in this way because any time I’ve seen an AI character in a movie, they’ve dressed well and looked cool.

Beyond Taelor, Anya is a Girls in Tech 40 Under 40 honoree, having led eCommerce and digital innovation teams at Meta, eBay, Target, and McDonald’s.

We talk about a range of topics, such as helping customers make changes in their lives, trends in fashion across different cultures, quiet luxury versus conspicuous consumption, long-term launches versus short-term disruption.

We also talk about her career in journalism, and how telling the stories of others and knowing how to stand around both served her well in her career.

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One of the things that I am starting to notice more and more is the difference between “getting older” and “feeling older.” Getting older is something that is unavoidable as long as we’re alive. But I find feeling older comes in waves. I am finding that seeing another child graduate high school is another moment in which I am impacted by feeling older. My daughter Hailey has reached the end of her high school years, which is more bittersweet than my first daughter. This is because Hailey was born with particular challenges that made every year uncertain. The NICU doctor told us “to enjoy the time you have with her.” Turns out that we are 18 years and counting.

With her challenges, college is not an option. But given that we live in a state with good services, she moves onto something called Transitions, which is a program from 18-22 to help develop life skills, job skills, and job placement. As with any graduate, it is an exciting time and a scary time not knowing how her story will unfold. Then again, Hailey’s story has always been filled with a lot of uncertainties, also like any of ours. Every step along the way, she has authored a version of herself that is authentically and uniquely her. As much as we would all like to say the same, I really don’t know how many of us can. The freedom of self expression through which one can shine their own light can be a proposition much scarier than what might happen after graduation.

The story of your life that you are going to write and tell is in large part up to you. Ideally, I think, we would like our story to be written in our voice because it is one that we are writing for ourselves. This isn’t always possible given that our stories are invariably impacted by any number of factors beyond our control. To be able to tell our stories on our terms is a gift.

My guest on Experience by Design knows all about telling stories, and also about the importance of marking time. Michael Drew has spent a career helping people get their stories to a wider audience. A key point that he shares is that we need to find ways of connecting our authentic voice and passion to a broader audience. Michael sees his work as part of a larger purpose, which is being here in service to other people. This process involves building relationships, translating brilliance into actionable insights, and framing ideas in ways that speak to the needs of your audience.

Michael has represented many many best selling authors, so he definitely knows about which he speaks.

We also talk about his other work on the forty-year cycle of history, which is a fascinating topic to explore. It turns out that everything old is in fact new again. These cycles move from “Me” to “We” extremes, which reflects the larger social zeitgeist. Understanding this cycle can explain much of the moments we find ourselves in, and what it means for us individually and as a society.

Was a fascinating chat that ranged across many different areas, but all tied together by a focus on telling our story, understanding the broader moment we are in, living to our purpose through service, and crafting a brand that you can believe in.

And congrats again to Hailey who lives the most authentically of any one I know, and continues to write her own story.

Michael Drew LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelrdrew

Book Retreat Publishing Services https://bookretreat.com/

“Pendulum: How Past Generations Shape Our Present and Predict Our Future” https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15842812-pendulum

Parenting children is definitely one of the hardest challenges that we can face in life. But as challenging as that is, it is nothing compared to reparenting your inner child. Some of you might be familiar with that turn of phrase. It refers to the process of dealing with childhood trauma, and “short-falls” in the manner in which you were parented in the first place, especially in relation to nurturing, support, care, and emotional safety that may have been missing.

While re-parenting refers to a particular therapeutic approach, dealing with the effects of trauma is something that many, if not most, people share. And the impact that this can have on our lives can be multifaceted and complex. If you have ever gone to any recovery programs, you will know that the behavior being dealt with is only the symptom of the problem, and not the source of it. There are deeper challenges people are facing. After all, what sank the Titanic was not the ice that was visible, but the ice that was beneath the surface.

Perhaps it is not surprising that we’ve had a number of guests that are working with people in varying capacities to improve themselves, their lives, and their relationships with others. I do think that it is in some ways a Gen X thing. There is a desire to do better and be better, feel better, without the tools with which to carry that out. Thus, we have an idea of where we want to go but no clear idea of how to get there. It is hard to build a birdhouse without any tools or knowledge how to use them. You can give it a go, but the outcome is likely to be frustrating and not great quality.

On today’s show, we welcome Tammy Cho to the studio. Tammy had over 20 years of experience as a nurse, but in line with the common expression, she was having a hard time healing herself. A visit to the emergency room to deal with chest pains and heart palpitations led her to re-evaluate her life and how she was dealing with her trauma.

Out of this process, Tammy developed what she calls Energy Leadership and Self-Love mentoring. Part of this involves slowing down and reconnecting with ourselves. This can be a scary proposition when we are not sure what we might find, or if we will like what we discover when we do. When we stop pushing ourselves away, we can rediscover who we are and accept the gifts that we possess. In her definition, human design is about self-intimacy, self-empowerment, and self-acceptance. By doing so, not only do we change our relationship with ourselves, but also with those around us whether they be friends, family members, co-workers, or those we are managing professionally.

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tammycho-pathtotheheart/

Website: https://pathtotheheart.com/