Episode 223 - Father Figures - The Impact of Grandpas, Uncles, and Stepdads

Indirect adult male influences - like coaches, grandpas, uncles, and cousins—play a crucial role in shaping kids by modeling respectful, healthy behaviors, emotional openness, and integrity beyond what they might experience at home. As men, we can actively help our extended families and their children by making ourselves available, participating in their lives, and demonstrating what balanced masculinity looks like - showing fairness, taking responsibility, and admitting mistakes honestly.

• Show up for kids at family events, games, or special occasions to foster a sense of belonging and support.​
• Model respectful behavior and emotional openness, proving that expressing feelings is healthy and normal.​
• Teach confidence by demonstrating self-belief and sharing motivational strategies, helping kids feel valued in their unique interests.​
• Offer gentle discipline and guidance, focusing on fairness and accountability rather than strictness or control.​
• Be proactive in mentoring nieces, nephews, or younger cousins - with advice, shared hobbies, or simple life skills.

• Admit your mistakes and show humility, which helps kids see that it’s okay to be imperfect and encourages emotional resilience.​
• Share caregiving tasks, demonstrate respect for all family members, and challenge outdated stereotypes, so kids observe inclusive and supportive masculinity.​
• Encourage open communication, listen to kids’ concerns, and validate their opinions, building trust and confidence.​
• Support diverse interests for family members - whether in music, sports, academics, or art -to expand their understanding of what it means to be a caring, capable man.

By modeling these behaviors, men can help kids - both within and outside their immediate families - grow into confident, emotionally resilient adults, equipped to build healthy relationships and contribute positively to their communities.

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 222 - The Monkey Trap Mindset - How Letting Go Sets Dads Free

The famous “monkey trap” story—using a hollowed coconut with a hole just big enough for a monkey’s hand, baited with a treat, to supposedly catch monkeys because they won’t let go of the prize—has been widely repeated, but there’s no reliable evidence that this technique is actually used in the wild. It’s best understood as a parable or metaphor rather than a real trapping method.

The Monkey Trap. Most of us have heard of it. You catch a monkey by using a gourd or a coconut that is nailed down, has a small hole in it, and has some fruit for bait inside of it. The monkey slips its hand into the hole, grabs the prize (making a fist that is too large to pull out of the hole in the process), and is caught. Why is it caught? Because it won’t let go of the prize.

Despite appearing in anecdotes and spiritual teaching, researchers have not found documented occurrences of this exact trap in field studies of monkey capture. Instead, the story endures for its powerful illustrative value: being trapped by what we refuse to release.

This metaphor is a compelling way to discuss how dads—and men in general—can become “trapped” by emotional baggage, grudges, fears, or limiting beliefs. True freedom, growth, and happiness come when we learn to let go.

https://samknight.com/?p=924

https://movember.com/

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 221 - Out of Place but Learning to Balance, What a Post Turtle Can Teach A Dad

Sometimes in life, we find ourselves as human post turtles. Maybe it’s that coworker who somehow got promoted to manager and you’re scratching your head wondering how. Or that pop star who’s suddenly the face of everything, but can’t carry a tune in a bucket. The idea is the same—they didn’t get there on their own. Someone lifted them up, put them there, and now they’re just trying to figure out what to do with it.

As dads, we get it. None of us really “earned” fatherhood through a test or certification. One day we were just placed there—sometimes ready, often not. Suddenly, we’re balancing on this narrow post called “Dad Life,” looking down, hoping we don’t fall, wondering who thought this was a good idea anyway.

But here’s the thing about post turtles: even though they didn’t get up there on their own, they’re there now. And like us, they have two choices—freeze up and panic, or adapt and learn to balance. That’s the heart of the dad journey. We might not have all the answers, but we learn on the post. We lean on other dads. We adjust our footing. And maybe, we even learn to enjoy the view from up there.

Reflection Segment

So, who put you on your post? Maybe it was your partner, your parents, your kids, or maybe life itself. The truth is, we’ve all had help. And that’s not something to hide—it’s something to honor. Every dad who’s ever rocked a newborn at 3 AM, every dad who’s shown up to a recital or a soccer game after a long week, every dad trying to be present—each one is a post turtle in his own way. We didn’t get here alone, and we’re not staying balanced by ourselves either.

Next time you feel like a post turtle—awkward, unsure, maybe out of place—remember: it’s normal. You’re not alone on that fence post, and there’s a whole community of dads out here cheering you on, helping you find your balance.

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270