In today’s episode, I take a deep dive into the meditation questions I’ve been asked the most over the past three decades—as a student, as a teacher, and now, as someone who teaches others to teach.

We talk about the real stuff. The messy, wonderful, confusing, luminous questions that arise when you sit down on your cushion and meet your own mind.

Highlights:

1. “Why can’t I stop thinking?”
   You’re not supposed to. That’s not a failure—it’s reality. Thoughts are not the enemy.
   
   
   
2. “Why do we keep our eyes open during practice?”
   Eyes open helps us stay here, in this life, not some special spiritual realm. We’re not retreating. We’re engaging—with softness and awareness.
   
   
   
3. “I feel like I’m hyperventilating… or I’m weirdly obsessed with my breath or eyes—what’s happening?”
   You’re just noticing more. That wide open space you’ve created isn’t empty—it’s your awareness. And yes, it’ll settle.
   
   
   
4. “What if I have a really good idea during meditation?”
   The real answer is: call it thinking, let go, return to the breath. But… I also share my (slightly quirky) workaround involving my thumbs.
   
   
   
5. “Can meditation help with depression, anxiety, or trauma?”
   This is an important and delicate topic. Meditation is not a cure-all, and it is essential to proceed gently, and ideally with guidance from a trusted healthcare provider.
   
   
   
6. “I’m overwhelmed by feelings when I meditate. Isn’t this supposed to calm me down?”
   Not always. Sometimes the most compassionate choice is to not meditate. Or to gently make your feeling—rather than your breath—the object of attention.
   
   
   
7. “How do I know if I’m doing it right?”
   Because, let’s face it, it feels boring. But the answer is not on the cushion—it’s in your life. Are you more kind? More patient? More real? Then yes, you’re doing it right.

For more on Buddhist teachings and how our humanity isn’t necessarily in our way, sign up for my free weekly newsletter or join the Open Heart Project sangha for more connection with community and with me.

If this podcast has been meaningful to you, it would be great if you would subscribe, give it a five star rating and share it with a friend. To join or learn more about The Open Heart Project please visit openheartproject.com.

Thoughts? Email us at info@susanpiver.com

Produced by Citizens of Sound

Music by: Derek O'Brien

©Open Heart Project

In this episode, I explore a classical teaching throughout the Buddhist world, The Four Reminders, also known as the Four Thoughts that Turn the Mind to the Dharma. When I first heard them, I thought how can I forget what I just heard?! Turns out, I can’t. Warning: once you hear them, you can’t unhear them either. They are at once brutal and deeply compassionate. Much like life itself.

Highlights:

• The Four Thoughts are uncomfortable but essential contemplations that help you see with what truly matters. They are:
  • Precious Human Birth – It's rare and valuable simply to be here. If one person in your line had done something different, you would not be you!
  • Impermanence and Death – Death is real (but only 100% of the time) and comes without warning.
  • Karma is real – Actions have results, whether or not in this lifetime.
  • Samsara is an ocean of unavoidable suffering. Sure, there are also great things, but even they come with suffering because they all eventually dissolve.
• Remembering these truths can turn your mind toward wisdom, compassion, and a life of generosity.
• Even if you don't identify as Buddhist, these reflections can offer clarity in how to live more deliberately and kindly.

With personal stories and my best insights, I hope to share how remembering these truths can shift your priorities and bring you back to what matters most.

For more on Buddhist teachings and how our humanity isn’t necessarily in our way, sign up for my free weekly newsletter or join the Open Heart Project sangha for more connection with community and with me.

If this podcast has been meaningful to you, it would be great if you would subscribe, give it a five star rating and share it with a friend. To join or learn more about The Open Heart Project please visit openheartproject.com.

Thoughts? Email us at info@susanpiver.com

Produced by Citizens of Sound

Music by: Derek O'Brien

©Open Heart Project

In this episode, I explore the tension between spiritual teachings on egolessness and the deeply personal need for self-understanding. I talk about how meditation reveals both the illusion of self and the reality of who we are. I also share how the Enneagram—a system of personality types—has been an invaluable tool for fostering compassion and clarity in myself and my relationships.

Highlights:

1. The Problem with Egolessness

• Teachings on “no self” can feel like a shaming of personal identity.
  
  
  
• Meditation helps us see both our egoless nature and our genuine self.
  
  

2. Meditation as Friendship with Self

• Encourages self-awareness and emotional honesty.
  
  

3. The Enneagram as a Spiritual Tool

• Describes 9 personality types; not limiting but illuminating.
  
  
  
• Helps identify personal patterns and build self-compassion.
  
  
  
• Integrated with Buddhist values like loving-kindness.
  
  

4. Three Enneagram Frameworks to Understand Yourself and Others

• Centers of Intelligence:
  
  
  • Mental: Thinkers → anxiety under stress.
    
    
    
  • Gut: Intuitive types → anger under stress.
    
    
    
  • Heart: Emotional types → neediness or withdrawal under stress.
    
    
• Instinctual Drives:
  
  
  • Self-preservation: Focused on safety and comfort.
    
    
    
  • Social: Motivated by group belonging.
    
    
    
  • One-to-One: Seeks deep personal connection.
    
    
• Stress Responses (Karen Horney’s model):
  
  
  • Toward: Seeks harmony.
    
    
    
  • Against: Confronts conflict.
    
    
    
  • Away: Withdraws from tension.
    
    

Understanding your own wiring—how you think, feel, relate, and react—is not a detour from spiritual growth, but part of its foundation. Tools like the Enneagram, when combined with meditation, become powerful aids in cultivating compassion for yourself and others. True spiritual insight begins with self-acceptance.

For more on the enneagram from a Buddhist perspective, check out my book, The Buddhist Enneagram: Nine Paths to Warriorship.

For more on Buddhist teachings and how our humanity isn’t necessarily in our way, sign up for my free weekly newsletter or join the Open Heart Project sangha for more connection with community and with me.

If this podcast has been meaningful to you, it would be great if you would subscribe, give it a five star rating and share it with a friend. To join or learn more about The Open Heart Project please visit openheartproject.com.

Thoughts? Email us at info@susanpiver.com

Produced by Citizens of Sound

Music by: Derek O'Brien

©Open Heart Project