Which came first: the two drink maximum or shooting a dog in the face? And to think, these aren't even the most controversial things we joke about this week. Join us for a rousing conversation that includes ill-suited funeral home administrators, voting stickers, Middle East unrest, avoidng your life's purpose and (everyone's favorite), "Tubby People."

It's every bit as weird, free-ranging and surprisingly metaphysical as you think. Just one more reason to love us.

The things this woman makes me say on behalf of your entertainment. Lord help us.

From Thoughtful Shoppery to creative tax code interpretation, exposing toxic espoinnage networks and raw pork hostess gifts, Amy laments the reputational erosion this podcast expands each and every week. Meanwhile, Missy's self-diagnosed neurospiciness takes center stage with her approach to secret keeping, tax preparation, protein consumption and New York sports teams. Far reaching topics connected only through nonsequitors? Perhaps. Hilariously relatable? Always.

Suns and Moons merging together, garbage and valuables co-mingling at every turn, and longtime friends who suddenly reveal their depthlessly shallow hearts. It's a world gone MAD, Dear Listener, and this week's episode is here for it. Join us as we recap the Eclipse, including the physical effects of witnessing a mass lunar wedding (blech!). Then, there's the main event — the Watch List, a special category where once cherished relationships reveal their critical flaws, only to slide off into the abyss. OoooOooOoooo, JUICY!

It’s Grievance Week, Dear Listener, and both Amy and Missy came ready to grouse. How better to begin than a full-throated rebuke of famed finger-wagger herself, the one and only Mel Robbins. Listen with head-shaking joy as Amy loses her damn mind over Mel Robbins' most recent episode, featuring the world's most saliva-packed special guest.

If that wasn’t enough, Melissa launches her nukes at a disingenuous family of influencers looking to capitalize on their son’s (ahem) “medical condition.” He’s a picky eater, folks.

All that, plus a rousing game of Is This Racist (GenX Edition) and a limited edition segment we’re calling “Australia—Enough with the Genitals.”

There’s TV recommendations, verbal gaffs, hoots, snorts and lots of laughs. Give this one a listen or a share if you’re so inclined. You won’t be disappointed.

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Well, when the starting point for licks is Melissa's son after a Balinese holiday and the Tootsie Roll center is an unwrapped toilet seat, I'm guessing it takes more than three. Join us as we chat through Aboriginal Gratitude, the state of Israel, the Selective Logic of the Qanon Collective, and disgruntled gift recipients. It's all there, Dear Listener. And all you have to do is press play.

Oh, G-blank-D, Dear Listener, do we have a show for you. There's frivolous lawsuits. There's religious superstition. There's orgasm pills, TikTok scams and wildly overpriced butter. There's even a botched execution that turns out to be a heartwarming tale of "I bet you didn't see that coming." And if that wasn't enough, we even throw in some nonsensical anecdotes from the teenage clown around gang. Interested? You betcha. Time for another Brilliant Observations, kids!