Ladies, it's time to embrace our mess! Because our mess has the most to offer us.

In our latest episode, Monique shares her transformative experience with a group of women who bravely confronted their struggles and emotions. Each woman, while successful in her own right, expressed feelings of falling short in various aspects of life—be it motherhood, relationships, or career. This candid discussion highlights a common theme: the burden of perfectionism and the unrealistic standards that high achieving women often impose on themselves.

Join in to find out how accepting your mess can give you real clarity and a better way to connect with who you really are.

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GEMS DROPPED

“I ​think ​this ​is ​the ​nature ​of ​high ​achievement, ​where ​we ​feel ​we're ​coming ​up ​short ​because ​the ​bar ​is ​way, ​way, ​way ​too ​high. ​And ​that, ​way, ​way, ​way, ​way ​too ​high ​bar ​serves ​us ​in ​many ​ways ​throughout ​our ​life. ​And ​so ​it's ​tricky ​when ​that ​same ​strength ​becomes ​your ​greatest ​weakness. Having ​an ​extremely ​high ​bar ​in ​life, ​​when ​you ​don't ​wield ​it ​with ​intention, ​with ​thoughtfulness, ​is a ​lot ​of ​suffering.”

“If ​you ​allow ​it, ​if ​you submit ​to ​yourself, ​​you ​get ​to ​find ​that ​the ​message ​​is ​not ​actually ​too ​much ​for ​anybody.“

“Many ​people ​won't ​take ​that ​step, ​won't ​move ​past ​that ​threshold, ​that ​marker ​of ​control, ​​that ​line ​of ​demarcation, ​because ​they ​believe ​if ​they ​start ​crying, ​ ​if ​they ​start ​raging, ​if ​they ​let ​the ​sadness ​out, ​the ​confusion ​out, ​that ​they'll ​never ​stop. ​That ​it ​feels ​so ​vast ​and ​so ​deep ​that ​no ​one ​can ​contain ​it. ​No ​one ​would ​be ​able ​to ​hold ​the ​space ​for ​it. ​And ​it ​feels ​unending. be. ​It's ​never ​as ​scary ​as ​you ​think ​it's going ​to ​be. ​And ​when ​you ​allow ​yourself ​to ​let ​some ​of ​that ​steam ​out ​of ​the ​pot, ​you ​allow ​yourself ​to ​be ​out ​loud ​in ​your ​mess, ​like ​you ​just ​kind ​of ​relinquish ​control, ​again ​in ​safe ​held ​space, ​that ​you ​get ​to ​meet ​the ​side ​of ​yourself ​that ​you've ​been ​dying ​to ​meet.”

“Our ​mess ​has ​the ​most ​to ​offer ​us, ​our ​mess ​has ​​the ​peace ​that ​we're ​craving, ​our ​mess ​has ​the ​creativity ​that ​we ​can't ​access, ​​our ​mess ​is ​where ​our ​compass ​lies ​in ​seasons ​of ​life, ​where ​we ​feel ​so ​lost.”

“Just ​because ​somebody ​is ​feeling ​fragile ​in ​a ​moment, ​somebody ​is ​breaking ​and ​cracking ​in ​a ​moment, ​doesn't ​mean ​that ​that ​is ​who ​they ​are. ​That ​fragility ​is ​something ​that ​we ​experience ​sometimes, ​that ​we ​move ​through, ​that ​we ​learn ​from, ​that ​we ​need ​to ​just ​be ​with. ​And ​then ​you ​find ​your ​way. ​We ​are ​all ​whole.”

“​It ​is ​a ​practice. It ​is ​a ​skill. ​It ​is ​a ​capacity ​to ​build ​within ​yourself. ​And ​it ​takes ​a ​lot ​of ​strength ​and ​willingness ​and ​just ​faith ​​that ​you ​can ​allow ​yourself ​to ​be ​seen ​by ​yourself ​and ​by ​others, ​to ​be ​witnessed ​as ​well, ​at ​your ​most ​honest, ​​at ​your ​most ​real ​and ​raw.”

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields or YouTube and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

In this episode, Monique examines the struggle many women face when longing to reconnect with a former version of themselves. She addresses the common longing of wanting to "get back" to who they used to be, exploring the nuances of this desire in the context of new life chapters.

Through an insightful coaching conversation with a woman who feels lost after stepping back from her career to raise her child, Monique highlights the challenges of balancing motherhood with personal aspirations.

Tune in to hear the full conversation and gain practical steps to reignite your creativity and confidence while walking through your individual journey.

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GEMS DROPPED

“In ​retrospect, ​when ​you ​get ​to ​this ​stage ​of ​life ​and ​you ​have ​children ​and ​your ​priorities ​change, ​your ​rhythms ​change, you ​sometimes ​miss ​parts ​of ​yourself ​​that ​felt ​less ​​encumbered, ​that ​felt ​like ​you ​had ​less ​constraints.”

“You're ​never ​going ​​to ​be ​unencumbered ​the ​way ​that ​you ​were ​10, ​15, ​20 ​years ​ago. ​Wherever ​that ​version ​of ​you ​is ​that ​you're ​looking ​back ​to, ​she's ​not ​coming ​back. She's ​never ​going ​to ​come ​to the present ​day ​to ​rescue ​you ​from ​this, ​your ​current ​context ​and ​the ​current ​place ​that ​you ​feel ​stuck ​in.”

“​It's ​not ​that ​we ​necessarily ​have ​to ​resent ​where ​we're ​at ​today, ​but ​when ​we ​want ​to ​go ​forward ​and ​we ​don't ​feel ​like ​we ​have ​the ​tools ​that ​we ​need ​today, ​we'll ​reach ​backward ​to ​a ​version ​of ​ourselves ​that ​cannot ​help ​us ​in ​our ​new ​context. ​I ​do ​love ​connecting ​with ​former ​versions ​of ​ourselves ​in ​some ​instances, ​but ​she ​can't ​be ​the ​captain ​of ​this ​ship. ​You're ​the ​captain ​now. ​She ​was ​equipped ​for ​the ​season ​that ​she ​came ​through. ​She’s ​obviously ​laid ​some ​groundwork ​for ​you ​to ​be ​who ​you ​are ​today. ​​But ​we ​can't ​go ​back ​searching ​for ​that ​version ​of ​ourselves ​to ​fully ​direct ​where ​we're ​going ​next.”

“We cannot ​compare ​our ​capacity ​or ​our ​experience ​or ​our ​own ​energy ​to ​that ​of ​other ​people. We ​all ​have ​different ​boundaries ​and ​limitations ​and ​you ​should ​be ​assessing ​that ​on ​an ​individual ​basis. ​If ​you ​want ​to ​push ​through, it's ​an ​individual ​assessment and ​you ​understand ​how ​you ​want ​to ​define ​the ​bounds ​of ​limitation ​for ​yourself.”

“You ​can ​​at ​the ​end ​of ​the ​day, ​write ​down ​one ​thing ​that ​you ​found ​beautiful ​or ​inspiring ​or ​unique ​or ​curious. ​What's ​one ​little ​thing ​to ​begin ​to ​train ​your ​brain ​​to ​focus ​on ​a ​little ​bit ​more, ​to ​begin ​to ​grow ​that ​relationship, ​to ​begin ​to ​feel a connection to creativity ​again. ​It ​can ​be ​small. ​These ​things ​don't ​have ​to ​be ​grand. Oftentimes ​it ​is ​just ​these ​little ​small ​commitments, ​these ​very ​simple ​revelations ​that ​we ​just ​have ​to ​respond ​to ​that ​will ​make ​all ​the ​difference. ​It's ​those ​incremental ​things ​over ​time. That ​is ​how ​people ​win.”

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields or YouTube and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

In today’s fast-paced world, the conversation about community matters more than ever, especially in a time when isolation is one of the biggest challenges many women are facing. In this episode, Monique breaks down the huge difference between simply being in a room with people and being in a space where someone can truly say, “I’m in the right place. This is where I belong.” She explores why so many women leave group programs, masterminds, and memberships feeling underwhelmed, not because the space was “bad,” but because it wasn’t curated with the depth, specificity, and psychological safety needed for real transformation.

Monique unpacks what aligned community actually means, why group size and curation matter, and how to stop settling for spaces that force women back into survival when they are seeking spaces that support thriving. Tune in for a deeper conversation on discernment, alignment, and how to find a space that truly supports growth, belonging, and becoming more of who you are.

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Apply for her upcoming Retreat March 1-4, 2026 in Palm Springs, CA

GEMS DROPPED

“There ​is ​a ​huge ​difference ​between ​finding ​community ​and being ​in ​a ​room ​where ​you ​can ​look ​to ​your ​left, ​you ​can ​look ​to ​your ​right ​and ​say, ​”I'm ​in ​the ​right ​place. ​This ​is ​where ​I ​belong. ​I'm ​so ​glad ​I'm ​here. This ​is ​making ​sense.”

“Aligned community has ​to ​be ​one ​of ​the ​most ​overused ​phrases ​and ​I ​think ​that ​we ​don't ​really ​know ​what ​alignment ​is ​and ​what ​it ​actually ​requires.”

“​Group ​size ​matters when ​you ​are ​trying ​to ​actually ​grow ​your ​network, when ​you ​are ​actually ​trying ​to ​grow ​yourself, ​not ​just ​up ​level ​your ​skills, ​but ​you ​are ​trying ​to ​see ​yourself ​evolve, ​move ​past ​a ​lot ​of ​those ​internal ​barriers, ​the ​things ​that ​are ​scaring ​you. ​Like ​the ​extremely ​vulnerable, ​interpersonal, ​internal ​work. ​So ​who's ​in ​the ​room ​and ​what ​connection ​you ​feel ​to ​those ​folks ​really ​matters.”

“You ​have ​to ​know ​what ​your ​goals ​are. ​If ​your ​goals ​are ​things ​like ​exposure ​or ​inspiration ​or ​like ​broad ​networking, ​larger ​rooms ​can ​work ​beautifully. ​But ​if ​your ​goal ​is ​actually ​identity ​transformation, ​​you ​want ​to ​become ​different. ​If ​your ​goal ​is ​depth ​and ​community, y​ou ​want ​to ​feel ​connected, ​begin ​to ​establish ​new ​bonds ​with ​people, size ​matters. ​ ​No ​one's ​going ​to ​tell ​you ​that. ​But ​I'm ​telling ​you ​that ​today.”

“​​High ​quality ​rooms ​create ​transferable ​insights.​That ​is ​the ​goal.”

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields or YouTube and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.