• AgriCulture: Be Prepared
    May 29 2024
    TURKANA FARMS, LLC Green E-Market Bulletin May 27, 2024 Tomatoes replace mugwort, Photo by Mark Scherzer Be PreparedHi all, Mark here.As my last bulletin may have suggested to you, I was not a successful Boy Scout. As reflected in my scramble to get ready for the arrival of this year’s turkey poults only after I got the call from the Germantown Post Office telling me to come pick them up, I wouldn’t comfortably fit in an organization whose motto is “Be Prepared”.My excuse for the turkey scramble — that they arrived a day ahead of schedule — might once... Read More ›
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    7 mins
  • AgriCulture-One Degree
    Feb 27 2022

    The farm feels like the world in microcosm. The world has Vladimir Putin. The barn has a half-castrated ram (the result of poor testicle-banding on my part) who I've now named Vlad. In general it is inadvisable to name animals you're going to have slaughtered, lest you develop affection for them, but in this case I don't think I'll have any qualms when he goes to market.

    Vladimir and Vlad share several characteristics. Both are instinctively aggressive. Both look for their chances and seize their opportunities.

    Both of these namesakes also hog resources. For Vladimir, it's the commodity wealth produced by the Russian nation. He is thought to have amassed personal holdings, held through surrogates, in excess of $200 billion, while much of Russia's middle and lower classes struggle. For Vlad the ram, it's hay. Always first at the manger, and brooking no competition for it.

    And like Vladimir, Vlad preens. He knows in his heart that he's beautiful. The only difference here is, in the ram's case it's no delusion.

    But as revealed in Russia's invasion of Ukraine this week, what Vladimir is really most focused on is asserting dominance. And Vlad is no different. While all rams have such a trait to some degree, many manage to behave in a perfectly civilized way. It is hard to know what in nature or nurture makes the occasional creature distort a natural trait to a sociopathic extreme. Is it an effort to overcome feelings of inadequacy (Vlad's half-testicled state, Vladimir's short stature)? Or in Putin's case, is it having so isolated himself during the COVID pandemic that he had nothing to keep him from stewing in his own grievances?

    However the pathology develops, it was clear to me three or four months ago that Vlad the ram was growing into something of a danger. Having been down this road before, I could tell from the way he eyed me, and looked ready to challenge me, that he was going to be trouble. And having learned lessons from past rams, I made a decided effort to counteract that development.

    I've always been the sort to think that reasonable, friendly persuasion works best, and therefore when I started farming my instinct was to treat all the animals as pets. Be sweet, pet them, give them extra grain and they'll like you and defer to you. I soon learned that in the case of aggressive rams, such behavior on my part was read as submissiveness, and seemed to encourage them making moves to confirm my lower status. They would not be kept in line by positive rewards of the sort I offered, since the positive reward they were most after was being king of the heap. They assert dominance through charging, and I have no desire to test my mettle against an animal that weighs nearly as much as I do, with incredibly hard skull and horns.

    I learned, therefore, to train such animals to fear me. This year, I started by clapping my hands loudly and yelling "out" upon entering the barn, to move them where I could fence them away from myself. I aimed the loud clapping particularly at Vlad. If he hesitated, I would charge him, grabbing him by the horns and turning him around to kick him out into the vestibule. For the most part, it has worked. He sometimes hesitates and I have to resort to charging him, but usually upon my entry he's out of the gate at the first clap. I ignore him if he begs for extra grain. By and large, we warily eye each other and pretend to ignore each other.

    To be effective, such a strategy must start early and be unvarying. Maybe that is the problem with Putin. Perhaps yielding him minor victories in Georgia and Crimea, treating him as a rational, calculating actor who would take small advantage but never upend the world order, encouraged him. This could be the lesson the world should have learned indelibly from appeasing Hitler in Czechoslovakia. Or maybe the trigger was Donald Trump playing Putin's lapdog in Helsinki. If you play the "sub

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    7 mins
  • AgriCulture: One of Those Mornings
    May 15 2024
    TURKANA FARMS, LLC Green E-Market Bulletin May 13, 2024 Newly arrived turkey poults eat egg yolks for fortification, Photo by Mark Scherzer One of Those MorningsHi all, Mark here.I am a creature of habit and an inveterate procrastinator. Both are generally considered undesirable characteristics. A procrastinator is a lazy avoider of responsibility. A follower of unchanging daily routines is simply boring.I try to look at the upside of my faults. Thanks to daily repetition of tasks in the same sequence, I virtually never forget to do a chore. If I postpone a difficult or distasteful task long enough, sometimes... Read More ›
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    7 mins
  • AgriCulture: Getting Our Act Two Together
    Apr 30 2024
    TURKANA FARMS, LLC Green E-Market Bulletin April 29, 2024 Doodle recently the center of Macho Matt’s affection, Photo by Brian Galletly Getting Our Act Two TogetherHi all, Mark here.I have been holding back from telling the sheep, so as not to create jealousy and resentment among the flock, but our much beloved Doodle has had another star turn recently. He had already gained some national recognition as a baby lamb last year, when he appeared in a photo montage at the Washington party for the retirement of my friend, Art, from the Justice Department. As various high level government... Read More ›
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    7 mins
  • AgriCulture: In the Path of Partiality
    Apr 17 2024
    TURKANA FARMS, LLC Green E-Market Bulletin April 14, 2024 Preparing to observe Photo by Steve Gutierrez In the Path of PartialityHi all, Mark here.It’s nearly a full week since the solar eclipse that had North America in a tizzy, and I’m still, as much as I was on that day… surprised. I know here I’m supposed to say I was surprised by the majesty of the heavens, by the ability of small actor like the moon, with the right strategic moves, to overcome the power of a far more powerful force like the sun, or by the ability of... Read More ›
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    7 mins
  • AgriCulture: A Dead Giveaway
    Apr 1 2024
    TURKANA FARMS, LLC Green E-Market Bulletin April 1, 2024 At long last, the piano readied to move Photo by Mark Scherzer A Dead GiveawayHi all, Mark here.If you read the popular press at all, you by now have heard a lot about the Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. The craze was started by a book with the same title, and perpetuated by a tv reality show and a host of articles in periodicals. The theory is that, especially as you get older, you de-clutter – dispose of what you don’t need and figure out what to keep or give... Read More ›
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    7 mins
  • AgriCulture: It's a Bird Eat Bird World
    Mar 20 2024
    TURKANA FARMS, LLCGreen E-Market Bulletin March 17, 2024The well fed hawk Photo by Mark ScherzerIt’s a Bird Eat Bird WorldHi all, and Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Mark here.Just after lunch on a perfect spring-like afternoon this past week, Eric and I had to go out to the supermarket for some essentials. As we drove past the chicken coop, Eric noticed something odd. “I wonder why the chickens aren’t out in the yard on such a beautiful day?”I slowed the car to look, and immediately noticed that there was indeed a chicken outside in the yard. Unfortunately, it had been reduced... Read More ›
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    7 mins
  • AgriCulture: Apricity
    Mar 5 2024
    TURKANA FARMS, LLCGreen E-Market Bulletin March 3, 2024Eric soaks up apricity Photo by Mark ScherzerApricityHi all, Mark here.Feeling the warm winter sun on my face, working my muscles in a steady rhythm, I was able to fully internalize the new vocabulary word my sister, Jolie, taught me last week: apricity. Apricity is the warmth of the winter sun.Farm critters appreciate apricity. You can see it in the dirt baths the chickens start taking whenever the sun warms the ground in their front yard. As for the sheep, they gather in winter against the east façade of the barn to catch... Read More ›
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    6 mins