214. I Divorced My Parents with Andrew Quebbemann

Raised in a hardworking, Catholic family that seemed picture-perfect from the outside, Andrew Quebbemann learned early on the value of self-reliance and doing things for yourself. But it was during a pivotal moment at age sixteen—choosing not to get confirmed into the church—that he first exercised the courage to honor his own convictions over societal or familial expectations. That decision, viewed as rebellious by his parents, was also his first bold step toward living authentically and questioning what really worked for him, rather than simply following the script laid out for him.

This early demonstration of independent thinking set the stage for a pattern that has defined Andrew's adult life. Whether leaving corporate America after looking around and finding no one he wanted to emulate or choosing to go plant-based overnight simply because it felt right for his body, Andrew developed what he calls psychological agility—the capacity to make swift decisions and take action when something no longer serves him.

However, this same strength became a source of deep conflict within his family, where relationships had always been transactional and understanding seemed impossible to achieve. After years of trying to navigate increasingly difficult family dynamics that affected both him and his wife, Andrew made the painful decision to request a three-month break from his parents to reevaluate their relationship as adults. Their response was a brutal phone call filled with insults, which marked the beginning of a three-year estrangement that continues today, despite Andrew's willingness to engage in family therapy.

The loss of his parents while they're still alive has required Andrew to mourn a relationship he thought he had. He candidly shares how stepping away from toxic dynamics allowed him to embrace self-care, protect his marriage, and redefine how he wants to show up in the world.

Through therapy and a daily meditation practice inspired by Indian mystic Sadhguru, Andrew has learned to find peace within himself rather than seeking validation from those who may never be capable of providing it. His story illustrates the heartbreaking reality that sometimes loving someone means accepting that a healthy relationship with them may not be possible, and making decisions that honor your well-being is necessary for survival.

Hype Song:

Andrew’s hype song is One Step Closer by Linkin Park

Resources:

1. Andrew’s Website: https://goldbookfinancial.com/our-team/andrew-quebbemann/
2. LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-quebbemann/
3. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andrewquebbemann/

Invitation from Lori:

This episode is sponsored by Zen Rabbit. Smart leaders know trust is the backbone of a thriving workplace, and in today’s hybrid whirlwind, it doesn’t grow from quarterly updates or the occasional Slack ping. It grows from steady, human communication.

Plenty of companies think they’re doing great because they host all-staff meetings,