Sample
  • Yours Cruelly, Elvira

  • Memoirs of the Mistress of the Dark
  • By: Cassandra Peterson
  • Narrated by: Cassandra Peterson
  • Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (2,768 ratings)

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Yours Cruelly, Elvira

By: Cassandra Peterson
Narrated by: Cassandra Peterson
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Publisher's summary

The woman behind the icon known as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, the undisputed Queen of Halloween, reveals her full story, filled with intimate bombshells - and told by the bombshell herself.

On Good Friday in 1953, at only 18 months old, 25 miles from the nearest hospital in Manhattan, Kansas, Cassandra Peterson reached for a pot on the stove and doused herself in boiling water. Third-degree burns covered 35 percent of her body, and the prognosis wasn't good. But she survived. Burned and scarred, the impact stayed with her and became an obstacle she was determined to overcome. Feeling like a misfit led to her love of horror. While her sisters played with Barbie dolls, Cassandra played with model kits of Frankenstein and Dracula and idolized Vincent Price.

Due to a complicated relationship with her mother, Cassandra left home at 14, and by age 17 she was performing at the famed Dunes Hotel in Las Vegas. Run-ins with the likes of Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., and Tom Jones helped her grow up fast. Then a chance encounter with her idol Elvis Presley changed the course of her life forever and led her to Europe, where she worked in film and traveled Italy as lead singer of an Italian pop band. She eventually made her way to Los Angeles, where she joined the famed comedy improv troupe The Groundlings and worked alongside Phil Hartman and Paul "Pee-wee" Reubens, honing her comedic skills.

Nearing age 30, a struggling actress considered past her prime, she auditioned at local LA channel KHJ as hostess for the late-night vintage horror movies. Cassandra improvised, made the role her own, and got the job on the spot. Yours Cruelly, Elvira is an unforgettably wild memoir. Cassandra doesn't shy away from revealing exactly who she is and how she overcame seemingly insurmountable odds. Always original and sometimes outrageous, her story is loaded with twists, travails, revelry, and downright shocking experiences. It is the candid, often funny, and sometimes heartbreaking tale of a Midwest farm girl's long, strange trip to become the world's sexiest, sassiest Halloween icon.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2021 Cassandra Peterson (P)2021 Hachette Books

Featured Article: Audible Essentials—The Top 100 LGBTQIA+ Listens of All Time


While LGBTQIA+ creators have been around for millennia, it’s only recently that we’ve been hearing more diverse, more queer-authored, and more queer-performed stories about the entire spectrum of LGBTQIA+ experiences and identities. This list—just like the community it represents—is meant to be fluid. But most importantly, it’s meant to celebrate and reflect on the issues faced by LGBTQIA+ people everywhere.

Editor's Pick

Give me all the Elvira, please
If there were justice in Hollywood, there would be no such thing as a casting couch, underrepresented groups wouldn’t have to fight so hard to get so little, and no one would have to ask ''Who is Elvira?'' again. I’ve answered the question to my share of whippersnappers, finding that ''the goth Dolly Parton'' is useful shorthand for the B-movie queen’s macabre version of exaggerated femininity, wielded in the service of iconic camp and, yes, feminism. As a kid, I watched her feature film, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, so many times I practically knew it by heart, recognizing that her appeal was about more than her vampy, campy persona. Like Dolly, she used her considerable physical assets and comic genius to knock down the doors of a misogynist industry—in her case, horror instead of country music. Elvira, whose real name is Cassandra Peterson, is now 70, and her new memoir cements her legacy—a scrappy and hilarious collection of insider tales from a woman who knew everyone and did everything her way. When she was just a year old, Peterson pulled a pot of boiling water onto herself, burning much of her body and transforming her outlook forever. The farm kid from Kansas was destined for a different life, and in the company of her inimitable voice, you’ll hear allllll about it, in devilish detail. At a time when women were supposed to choose between being funny or sexy, Elvira was brilliant at both—and she still is. Grab your eyeliner and pay some respect. —Kat J., Audible Editor