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You Can Keep That to Yourself
- A Comprehensive List of What Not to Say to Black People, for Well-Intentioned People of Pallor
- Narrated by: Donald Faison
- Length: 26 mins
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Publisher's summary
At long last, a much-needed guidebook for well-intentioned people of pallor on what not to say to their African American "friends".
Greetings, well-intentioned person of pallor.
Your good intentions used to be enough. But in these diverse and divisive times, some people would hold you accountable for your actions. You were not raised for such unfairness. You need help.
And help you now have.
Let Daquan - that Black coworker you are referring to when you claim to have Black friends - help you navigate perilous small talk with African Americans with this handy field guide. This portable bit of emotional labor puts at your fingertips an alphabetized list of things not to say to Black people. Finally!
How to use: Keep this handbook close. Whenever you are confronted with an African American and you feel compelled to blurt out an observation about her hair or to liken your Tesla lease to slavery, ask for a moment to consult this reference. She'll wait. If the keen insight you want to share is listed herein, you can keep that to yourself. It truly is that easy!
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- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 266
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 259
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 259
Two years after successfully melting down the top secret sperm bank under the Space Needle, the CLITO collective (Community of Lesbians Inclusive To Others) is thriving on their newly acquired private island, Lesbos 2. All is well in their queer utopia. Or is it? Investigative reporter Sarah Keebler (Sarah Steele) is piecing together the crew's previous heist for her bombshell true-crime podcast–and getting dangerously close to the truth.
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5 out of 5 stars
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AS FUN AS SEASON1
- By Robert on 03-07-24
By: Adam Goldman
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,580
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,614
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,589
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,221
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,692
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Story4 out of 5 stars 15,626
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,097
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 973
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Story4 out of 5 stars 969
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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3 out of 5 stars
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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Green Wing: Resuscitated
- By: Victoria Pile, James Henry, Oriane Messina, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Chris, Olivia Colman, Pippa Haywood, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 17 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 5
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4
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Story5 out of 5 stars 4
They’re back! The all-star cast multi-award-winning cult hit comedy returns, with more surreal goings-on in the lives and loves of the doctors and staff at East Hampton Hospital (warning: contains very little medical content).
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful to hear these voices again
- By LucilleB on 05-03-24
By: Victoria Pile, and others
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Yellow Face
- A Semi-autobiographical Comedy
- By: David Henry Hwang
- Narrated by: Daniel Dae Kim (CK), Ashley Park, Wendell Pierce, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 7
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 3
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 3
Winner of an Obie and a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, and directed by Tony nominee Leigh Silverman, Yellow Face is as timely as ever, wrestling with issues of cultural appropriation, complicity, and artistic freedom. It’s brought to life in this audio-only revival by a stunning all-star cast (many playing themselves) led by Daniel Dae Kim.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Funny, great audible performance, and good dialogue.
- By Ed the Canadian on 05-04-24
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55,724
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,204
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49,948
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Cut and Thirst
- A Short Story
- By: Margaret Atwood
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3 out of 5 stars 13
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 13
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Story3 out of 5 stars 13
Myrna, Leonie, and Chrissy meet every Thursday to sample fine cheeses, to reminisce about their former lives as professors, and lately, to muse about murder. Decades ago, a vicious cabal of male poets contrived—quite publicly and successfully—to undermine the writing career, confidence, and health of their dear friend Fern. Now, after Fern has taken a turn for the worse, her three old friends decide that it’s finally time to strike back—in secret, of course, since Fern is far too gentle to approve of a vendetta.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Cheesy
- By Mary Ellen on 05-04-24
By: Margaret Atwood
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French & Saunders Titting About (Series 5)
- By: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Narrated by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 25
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 24
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Story5 out of 5 stars 24
Once again, the legendary comedy duo unearth six vitally important subjects... and then tit about about them. From surviving on a desert island to being eaten by a cardboard crocodile, Dawn and Jennifer will entertain, inform and thoroughly tit about for your pleasure. (Batteries not included.)
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5 out of 5 stars
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Chuckles with “Titting About”
- By Robin Johnston on 05-04-24
By: Dawn French, and others
What listeners say about You Can Keep That to Yourself
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Antoinette A.
- 04-28-21
Couldn’t keep this gem to myself!
This was such an enjoyable audiobook. Everything from the delivery of Donald Faison’s voice as he read through each word was so satisfying and much needed. I love the short explanations and antidotes of the author, Adam Smyer and his ability to mesh feelings with reality and tackling societal pitfalls and blunders of not keeping things to oneself. Great way to break up a work lunch or listen as you take an afternoon walk.
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