What About Men?

A Feminist Answers the Question

By: Caitlin Moran

Narrated by: Caitlin Moran

Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins

Publisher's summary

An Instant #1 Sunday Times bestseller

With her signature candor and wit, New York Times bestselling author Caitlin Moran attempts to answer society’s weirdly unasked question: What About Men?

Like anyone who discusses the problems of girls and women in public, Caitlin Moran has often been confronted with the question: “But what about men?” And at first, tbh, she dgaf. Boys, and men, are fine, right? Feminism doesn’t need to worry about them.

However, around the time she heard an angry young man saying he was “boycotting” International Women’ Day because “It's easier to be a woman than a man these days,” she started to wonder: are unhappy boys, and men, also making unhappy women? The statistics on male misery are grim: boys are falling behind in school, are at greater risk of depression, greater risk of suicide, and, most pertinently, are increasingly at risk from online misogynist radicalization. Will the Sixth Wave of feminism need to fix the men, if it wants to fix the women?

Moran began to investigate—talking to her husband, close male friends, and her daughters' friends: bringing up very difficult and candid topics, and receiving vulnerable and honest responses. So: what about men? Why do they only go to the doctor if their partner makes them? Why do they never discuss their penises with each other—but make endless jokes about their balls? What is porn doing for young men? Is sexual strangling a good hobby for young people to have? Are men ever allowed to be sad? Are they ever allowed to lose? Have Men's Rights Activists confused “power” with “empowerment”? Are Mid-Life Crises actually quite cool? And what’s the deal with Jordan Peterson’s lobster?

In this thoughtful, warm, provocative book, Moran opens a genuinely new debate about how to reboot masculinity for the twenty-first century, so that “straight white man” doesn’t automatically mean bad news—but also uses the opportunity to make a lot of jokes about testicles, and trousers. Because if men have neither learned to mine their deepest anxieties about masculinity for comedy, nor answered the question “What About Men?,” then it’s up to a busy woman to do it.

©2023 Caitlin Moran (P)2023 HarperCollins Publishers

A must read for all men.

Perspective! Perspective! Perspective! Be Curious about all the differences between men and women and embrace them. In doing so, the similarities that you discover will bring you that much closer to those you love .

Very thought provoking and funny

I really enjoyed this read/listen. Moran is a funny person and her takes on things cracked me up, she also gets appropriately serious at some of the darker material. She constantly checks herself and reiterates when something is her belief and opinion as opposed to pushing “facts” across. I loved the ending— I think everyone would get something out of this one.

The book I'm going to recommend to my friends

Caitlin really did a phenomenal job at understanding what it's like to be a "regular guy." This book does a phenomenal job of putting words to many of the feelings men like me experience without making it too weird. Moran does a tremendous job understanding that if this book were too serious it'd alienate a majority of the demographic this book is meant to reach, but by keeping the feel of the book as a funny conversation with a "cool aunt", it becomes palatable for men to discuss the crappy things in their lives. This book wasn't going to convert people that are too far gone into doing some self introspection, but for those in the middle, this might convince them to take the time to evaluate what they were feeling. Not to mention this book had me genuinely laughing out loud with some of its jokes. Update: Ben Shapiro hates this, so if you were on the fence, you might as well read it.

Wow. A feminist tries to understand men.

She really seems to care. I did not expect this. It's as good as Richard Reves or Warren Farrell. I actually felt herd.

No , but really ? What about them?

I like to preface this with the fact that I have all of her other books . I enjoy them for the most part and have reviewed them. This one misses the mark for me . And the reason is that it is not a subject that women should be straddled with fixing. The problem with the question is that it is a disingenuous one. The question isn't " what about men?" it is actually , if you are not going to allow us to be the default and always be on top , how are you going to restructure things so that we don't feel like we are losing anything. and that is the f-ing problem with all power dynamics that need to be changed.
In this book she talks about how boys feel like it is easier to be a girl , now. Which is honest but not true. They don't feel like it is easier to be a girl than a boy , they feel that being a boy used to be easier because it was harder on girls . Giving the example that the boys used , rape accusations. Boys used to be able to do what ever they wanted to girls and even lie about the sexual relationships they had with girls , fully knowing that could and would ruin that girls reputation. Now in the new world that could backfire and land the boy in a place where he has to fight for his reputation. This actually makes for a fairer world where it is in everyone's best interest to be honest or at least discreet, but fairness feels like oppression in the world where you used to always come out on top .
The other problems seem to be that men think " I should be allowed to oppress you BUT if we are going to live in a fairer world for you , what are you going to give me for what I lost". Because the men aren't helping the women gain rights but they feel like they should be compensated. If men feel like men's mental health isn't a priority , shouldn't MEN be working on that like WOMEN did ? Women didn't steal mental health from men. If men don't have healthy relationships with each other , why are expecting women to set up men's play dates for them? it's kind of the " why isn't there a straight pride or White Entertainment tv or national Men's day " argument . First there kind of wasn't a need for those things but also if you feel there is a need YOU SHOULD CREATE THAT . Marginalized people didn't wait for their oppressors to greenlight things to make them feel better about themselves. Why do men need us to old their hands? Make your movement.
and lastly the final problem with all of this is that when oppressors make movements, usually , It is about oppression. The men's movement that we do have is not about male empowerment , it's about female subjection . There isn't a powerful voice in male spaces telling men to be vulnerable or whole , or whatever the male equivalent to " SLAY" is , it is men getting together to express how shitty it is that women can talk now , or that they can't hit us anymore or SHOCKINGLY how once a girl of any age has an opinion how they don't understand why they can't have sex with her now . See the weird discourse around Greta Thunberg , for examples. I think if men could follow men that had healthy ideas we would all be better for it.
in conclusion , honestly , good effort but what about men is not a feminist question. What about men belongs in the minds of a world where feminism isn't needed. Where equality of half the world's population isn't still in question. Because as long as men are on top , the idea that we need to be worrying about how they FEEL about the fact that we want to be safe and respected is irrelevant.