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Totally Fine (And Other Lies I've Told Myself)
- What My Decade in Grief Taught Me About Life
- Narrated by: Tiffany Philippou
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
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Totally Fine (And Other Lies I've Told Myself)
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Publisher's Summary
Shame is a monster that grows inside us. We all have the monster - it’s what we decide to do with it that determines how we live our lives. This is my story....
One day, in the summer of 2008, I was sat on a train, traveling back to London from a weekend of partying with friends, when I received a phone call that suddenly changed everything. I was told my boyfriend, Richard, was in the hospital. He died, seven days later. I spent most of my 20s pretending this never happened.
It has taken me a decade to be able to tell this story, just as it has taken me years to understand that there is no right way to grieve and no right way to live.
In our 20s, we are thrown into the adult world without a guidebook. It’s a decade that should be about adventure and discovery, so why does it feel catastrophic when we fail? How are we expected to have mastered our lives in such a short amount of time?
Saying my shame out loud has made me feel more connected to people in my life. I hope that my story will make you feel less alone, too. It is only by sharing our stories that we can give a voice to the unspoken. Whatever pain you’re holding on to, I’m writing this for you.
Critic Reviews
"If Dolly Alderton, Glennon Doyle, and Elizabeth Day had a love child, this is the writer they’d produce." (Laura Jane Williams)
"Will go a long way to helping those struggling with the stigma and shame that, sadly, persistently surrounds mental health." (Vicky Spratt, Refinery29)
What listeners say about Totally Fine (And Other Lies I've Told Myself)
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Miss Evanson
- 03-25-22
So moving
I lost my bf to suicide, and this book was so incredibly touching. It’s nice to hear her struggles and the ups and downs of avoiding grief. I enjoyed the book and I think anyone that has experienced a loss of a partner can too. Totally recommend.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Laura P
- 08-17-22
A wonderful story of love and grief
An honest, enlightening, entertaining and original memoir about love and grief, beautifully told and narrated by Tiffany Philippou. I loved it.
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 205
From childhood, Laura James knew she was different. She struggled to cope in a world that often made no sense to her, as though her brain had its own operating system. It wasn't until she reached her 40s that she found out why: Suddenly and surprisingly, she was diagnosed with autism. With a touching and searing honesty, Laura challenges everything we think we know about what it means to be autistic. Married with four children and a successful journalist, Laura examines the ways in which autism has shaped her career, her approach to motherhood, and her closest relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Simply Perfect
- By Mandolyn on 07-28-19
By: Laura James
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Help Me! Special Edition
- One Woman's Quest to Find Out If Self-Help Really Can Change Your Life
- By: Marianne Power
- Narrated by: Marianne Power, Mary Power
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 41
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 40
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Story5 out of 5 stars 40
Marianne decided to finally find out if her elusive "perfect existence" - the one without debt, anxiety, or hangover Netflix marathons, the one where she healthily bounced around town and met the cashmere-sweater-wearing man of her dreams - really did lie in the pages of our best-known and acclaimed self-help books. She vowed to test a book a month for one year, following its advice to the letter, taking what she hoped would be the surest path to a flawless new her. But as the months passed, Marianne’s reality was turned upside down.
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5 out of 5 stars
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One of the best and most brilliant books I have ever listened to
- By Meghann on 07-21-19
By: Marianne Power
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All That You Leave Behind
- A Memoir
- By: Erin Lee Carr
- Narrated by: Erin Lee Carr
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 199
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 170
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 168
A celebrated journalist, bestselling author (The Night of the Gun), and recovering addict, David Carr was in the prime of his career when he suffered a fatal collapse in the newsroom of The New York Times in 2015. Shattered by his death, his daughter Erin Lee Carr, at age 27 an up-and-coming documentary filmmaker, began combing through the entirety of their shared correspondence - 1,936 items in total - in search of comfort and support. What started as an exercise in grief quickly grew into an active investigation.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Losing a parent is difficult, but losing a legend is devastating
- By Tracy L Dyer on 06-18-19
By: Erin Lee Carr
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How to Kill Your Family
- A Novel
- By: Bella Mackie
- Narrated by: Charly Clive, Paul Panting
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 133
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 117
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Story4 out of 5 stars 117
When I think about what I actually did, I feel somewhat sad that nobody will ever know about the complex operation that I undertook. Getting away with it is highly preferable, of course, but perhaps when I’m long gone, someone will open an old safe and find this confession. The public would reel. After all, almost nobody else in the world can possibly understand how someone, by the tender age of twenty-eight, can have calmly killed six members of her family. And then happily got on with the rest of her life, never to regret a thing.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent read!
- By sasevans on 09-01-22
By: Bella Mackie
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The Good Mother
- By: Karen Osman
- Narrated by: Emmy Rose
- Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 151
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 141
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 141
How far would you go to protect your children? Catherine is a good mother and a good wife. The family home is immaculate, her husband's supper is cooked on time, but when she starts writing to Michael, a prisoner convicted of murder, she finds herself obsessing about his crime and whether he can ever truly be forgiven....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Slow-Burn but Ultimately Great
- By Candice on 02-22-19
By: Karen Osman
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Oneo
- Enlightenment of Eternal Life, the Acceptance of I, and One with Yourself.
- By: Cornelius Christopher
- Narrated by: Kelvin Witherspoon-Sudron
- Length: 18 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 61
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 54
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 54
Cornelius Christopher courageously opens up his life to the world to show how we urgently need to change the way we treat one another and ourselves. The depth with which he shares unspeakable accounts on how society creates an abused child who later becomes a suicidal adult is beyond imaginable, beyond words, beyond anything you have ever listened to. The story begins the moment Cornelius experiences what physicists call a "quantum superposition", during which he is forced to watch his funeral and the heart-wrenching scene of his wife finding him dying from his future suicide.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Cornelius's story is real, compelling and esoteric
- By Mary Perrodin on 01-18-23
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Odd Girl Out
- By: Laura James
- Narrated by: Lucinda Clare
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 234
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 206
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 205
From childhood, Laura James knew she was different. She struggled to cope in a world that often made no sense to her, as though her brain had its own operating system. It wasn't until she reached her 40s that she found out why: Suddenly and surprisingly, she was diagnosed with autism. With a touching and searing honesty, Laura challenges everything we think we know about what it means to be autistic. Married with four children and a successful journalist, Laura examines the ways in which autism has shaped her career, her approach to motherhood, and her closest relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Simply Perfect
- By Mandolyn on 07-28-19
By: Laura James
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Watermelon
- By: Marian Keyes
- Narrated by: Gerri Halligan
- Length: 13 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
At 29, Claire is full of the joys of life - that is, until her husband leaves her on the day she gives birth to her baby. With a broken heart, a beautiful newly born and an expanding mirror image, she decides to visit her eccentric family in Dublin. There she starts to feel better. So much better, in fact, that James is in for a surprise when he decides to slither back into her life....
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fun read, every time
- By Audrey Smith on 01-06-23
By: Marian Keyes
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The Cows
- By: Dawn O'Porter
- Narrated by: Dawn O'Porter, Karen Cass, Laura Kirman
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 183
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 169
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 169
The Cows is a powerful novel about three women. In all the noise of modern life, each needs to find her own voice. It's about friendship and being female. It's bold and brilliant. It's searingly perceptive. It's about never following the herd. And everyone is going to be talking about it.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Smart, funny, feminist
- By Mark on 11-05-17
By: Dawn O'Porter
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What She Left
- By: T R Richmond
- Narrated by: Charles Dance, Emilia Clarke, Imogen Stubbs, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 62
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 59
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Story4 out of 5 stars 58
When Alice Salmon died last year, the ripples were felt in the news, on the Internet, and in the hearts of those who knew her best. But the person who knows her most intimately isn't family or a friend. Professor Jeremy Cooke is an academic whose life has become about piecing together Alice's existence in all its flawed and truthful reality. For Cooke, faithfully recreating Alice's life - through her diaries, emails and anything using her voice - is all-consuming.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Muddled and muddling
- By Michael on 07-01-15
By: T R Richmond
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Glorious Rock Bottom
- By: Bryony Gordon
- Narrated by: Bryony Gordon
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 51
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 50
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Story5 out of 5 stars 50
Bryony Gordon is a respected journalist, a number one best-selling author and an award-winning mental health campaigner. She is also an alcoholic. In Glorious Rock Bottom Bryony opens up about a toxic 20-year relationship with alcohol and drugs and explains exactly why hitting rock bottom - for her, a traumatic event and the abrupt realisation that she was putting herself in danger, time and again - saved her life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Raw, real, honest
- By dr8901 on 03-18-23
By: Bryony Gordon
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Getting Rid of Matthew
- By: Jane Fallon
- Narrated by: Rosalyn Landor
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 304
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 223
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Story4 out of 5 stars 221
Helen is nearly 40, and has, for far too long, had an affair with Matthew, a high-powered, much older, attractive, married man who was once, of course, her boss. After years of being disappointed by missed dates, out-of-the-way restaurants, broken promises, and hushed phone calls, at last Helen realizes it's time to dump Matthew and get on with her life. This, of course, is the exact moment when Matthew decides to leave his wife for her.
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4 out of 5 stars
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great chick lit
- By Laurie on 10-06-07
By: Jane Fallon
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Mad Girl
- By: Bryony Gordon
- Narrated by: Bryony Gordon
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
Bryony Gordon has OCD. It's the snake in her brain that has told her ever since she was a teenager that her world is about to come crashing down: that her family might die if she doesn't repeat a phrase five times, or that she might have murdered someone and forgotten about it. It's caused alopecia, bulimia, and drug dependency. And Bryony is sick of it. Keeping silent about her illness has given it a cachet it simply does not deserve, so here she shares her story with trademark wit and dazzling honesty.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Love love love
- By Pamzoc on 11-30-22
By: Bryony Gordon
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Mrs D Is Going Without
- A Memoir
- By: Lotta Dann
- Narrated by: Cat Gould
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 251
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 211
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 215
This is an honest, upfront, relatable account of one suburban housewife's journey from miserable wine-soaked boozer to self-respecting sober lady. This audiobook is an inspirational tale of self-transformation, addiction, and domesticity.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very Enjoyable
- By Chris Kelter on 07-22-20
By: Lotta Dann
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The Girlfriend
- By: Michelle Frances
- Narrated by: Henrietta Meire
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 6,920
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 6,272
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Story4 out of 5 stars 6,258
Laura Cavendish can't wait to meet the woman who's won her son's affection. Despite a successful career in television and a long, prosperous marriage, Laura's world revolves around kind, talented Daniel. She pictures his new girlfriend, Cherry, becoming a close friend and confidante ...one day, even a daughter-in-law. But although Cherry is beautiful and amiable, Laura can't warm to her. There's something about the possessive way she touches Daniel, the little lies Laura detects. Cherry seems to resent Laura, driving a wedge between mother and son - until one day Daniel is injured.
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2 out of 5 stars
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horrible narration
- By Anne on 03-17-18
By: Michelle Frances
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We Are the Luckiest
- The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life
- By: Laura McKowen
- Narrated by: Laura McKowen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,309
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,971
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,961
What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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2 out of 5 stars
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What?! Boring.
- By Piper on 03-06-20
By: Laura McKowen
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At Home with the Templetons
- By: Monica McInerney
- Narrated by: Ulli Birve
- Length: 19 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 71
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 51
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Story4 out of 5 stars 52
When the Templeton family from England takes up residence in a stately home in country Australia, they set the locals talking – and with good reason. From the outside, the seven Templetons seem so bohemian, peculiar even. No one is more intrigued by the family than their neighbours, single mother Nina Donovan and her young son Tom. Before long, the two families' lives become entwined in unexpected ways.
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2 out of 5 stars
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A dreadful mistake
- By Julie on 11-14-10
By: Monica McInerney
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Iona Iverson's Rules for Commuting
- A Novel
- By: Clare Pooley
- Narrated by: Clare Corbett
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 485
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 438
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 436
Every day Iona, a larger-than-life magazine advice columnist, travels the ten stops from Hampton Court to Waterloo Station by train, accompanied by her dog, Lulu. Every day she sees the same people, whom she knows only by nickname: Impossibly-Pretty-Constant-Reader and Terribly-Lonely-Teenager. Of course, they never speak. Seasoned commuters never do. Then one morning, the man she calls Smart-But-Sexist-Manspreader chokes on a grape right in front of her. He’d have died were it not for the timely intervention of Sanjay, a nurse, who gives him the Heimlich maneuver.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Woke suppository
- By Cesar Lara Gavino on 12-06-22
By: Clare Pooley
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The Letter
- My Journey Through Love, Loss, and Life
- By: Marie Tillman
- Narrated by: Marie Tillman
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 47
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Performance