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Today I F****d Up
- A hilarious collection of worst day disasters
- Narrated by: Simon Kennedy, Coralie Bywater
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
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Today I F****d Up
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Publisher's summary
A toe curling, laugh out loud collection of worst day disasters.
I’d always rolled my eyes when people describe things as 'happening in slow motion'. Surely everything happens in regular time and it's only when you replay it in your head that it seems to slow down? But as the car lurched forward and I found myself sailing through the back of the garage, I finally understood what they meant.
When a trip to meet his new girlfriend’s grandparents ends in disaster (think a crashed ute, an angry wasp and a cranky farmer with a shotgun), Thomas Mitchell knows one thing for sure: bad days make for great stories.
While we might not like to admit it, we can't help but find a sneaky pleasure in other people's misfortune. It's the reason fail compilations rack up millions of views on YouTube or television shows like Funniest Home Videos exist at all.
Deep down we're addicted to the downfall of our fellow humans, and if there was ever a point in history when we needed a laugh, it's now.
Today I F***D Up is a collection of tall tales but true that are equal parts hilarious and horrifying; a timely reminder that no matter how terrible things get, they could always be worse. So much worse.
Praise for Today I F***D Up
"Today I F****d Up turns disaster, catastrophes, abject humiliation and pure mortification into gold. Essential reading for anyone who's been there as many times as I have. Read the book, and you'll laugh for sure, and you just might also cry." (Markus Zusak)
"You know those days where everything goes wrong? We’ve all had them and now Thomas Mitchell has written a book about them. It’s very funny. You can do what we love to do the most... laugh at other people’s expense." (Larry Emdur)
"If you’re in need of a good laugh do yourself a favour and give it a read." (Francesca Hung)
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 164
Meet Tom. Or Dr O’Grady, as he used to be called. When you pass him on the street, most people don’t even give him a second glance. You see, Tom isn’t living his best life. Burdened by grief, he’s only got his loyal dog, Bette Davis, for company and a rucksack containing his whole world. Then there’s Ruth and her son, DJ, who no longer have a place to call home. But Ruth believes that you can change the world by helping one person at a time - and Tom needs her help. There are a thousand ways to find your home - you just need to be brave enough to look for them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Couldn't put it down
- By Allison Swart on 09-22-19
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Weekend Warriors
- Sisterhood, Book 1
- By: Fern Michaels
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,012
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 841
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 839
On the surface, these seven women are as different as can be - but each has had her share of bad luck, from cheating husbands to sexist colleagues to a legal system that often doesn't do its job. Now, drawn together by tragedy, they're forging a bond that will help them right the wrongs committed against them and discover an inner strength they didn't know they had. The Sisterhood is learning that when bad things happen, you can roll over and play dead...or you can get up fighting...
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3 out of 5 stars
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Weekend Warriors
- By Ms Mare on 04-04-09
By: Fern Michaels
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Spare
- By: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Narrated by: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 68,877
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 63,675
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Story5 out of 5 stars 63,467
It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Gutterball!
- By Jimmyjoejangles on 01-10-23
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Lone Stars
- By: Justin Deabler
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 24
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 24
Lone Stars follows the arc of four generations of a Texan family in a changing America. Julian Warner, a father at last, wrestles with a question his husband posed: what will you tell our son about the people you came from, now that they're gone? Finding the answers takes Julian back in time to Eisenhower's immigration border raids, an epistolary love affair during the Vietnam War, crumbling marriages, queer migrations to Cambridge and New York, up to the disorienting polarization of Obama's second term.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Read for bookclub but fell in Love
- By Ericka Lawson on 09-11-22
By: Justin Deabler
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When a Stranger Comes to Town
- By: Michael Koryta
- Narrated by: Cindy Kay, Janina Edwards, Fajer Al-Kaisi, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 52
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4 out of 5 stars 49
It's been said that all great literature boils down to one of two stories—a man takes a journey, or a stranger comes to town. While mystery writers have been successfully using both approaches for generations, there's something undeniably alluring in the nature of a stranger: the uninvited guest, the unacquainted neighbor, the fish out of water. In the newest collection of stories by the Mystery Writers of America, each author weaves a fresh tale surrounding the eerie feeling that comes when a stranger enters our midst, featuring stories by prolific mystery writers.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The narrators are outstanding here.
- By Jennifer Baratta She/Her on 05-16-21
By: Michael Koryta
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Strangers Assume My Girlfriend Is My Nurse
- By: Shane Burcaw
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 337
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 292
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Story5 out of 5 stars 293
With his signature acerbic wit and hilarious voice, 20-something author, blogger, and entrepreneur Shane Burcaw is back with an essay collection about living a full life in a body that many people perceive as a tragedy. From anecdotes about first introductions where people patted him on the head instead of shaking his hand, to stories of passersby mistaking his able-bodied girlfriend for a nurse, Shane tackles awkward situations and assumptions with humor and grace.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Uplifting
- By PhinzPride on 04-12-20
By: Shane Burcaw
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Is That Thing Diesel?
- By: Paul Carter
- Narrated by: Paul Carter
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 39
At forty years old, a successful writer, husband and father, no longer toiling on offshore drilling rigs, was Paul Carter happily nestled in the cotton wool of suburban life enjoying the fruits of his labour? Was he f**k! With his manic life left far behind and the perfect opportunity to take it easy stretched before him what else would a middle-aged, bike obsessed, man want? Yes, that's right, he'd want to be the first guy to ride around Australia on an underpowered experimental motorcycle that runs on used cooking oil, wouldn't he? Preferably without getting hit by a semi-trailer full of bridge parts.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Another hit for Paul Carter
- By As happy as a monkey with two bananas in his hands on 06-11-14
By: Paul Carter
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The Last Refuge
- By: Chris Knopf
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,009
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 866
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 862
Sam Acquillo is at the end of the line: he's a middle-aged corporate dropout living in a ramshackle cottage in Southampton's North Sea. But then the old lady next door ends up floating dead in her bathtub, and it seems that Sam is the only one who wonders why.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A hero who doesn't work and play well with others.
- By Cholmondeley on 04-04-13
By: Chris Knopf
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Midnight in Delta County
- By: J. L. Hyde
- Narrated by: Alena S Chesney
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Story5 out of 5 stars 27
Heather Matthews, pregnant and in handcuffs, had an uncertain future ahead of her. Quinn Harstead, newly married and enjoying literary success, found out that someone very close to her held the answers to a mystery from decades before.
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5 out of 5 stars
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J. L. Hyde is fantastic!!
- By leslee on 03-21-23
By: J. L. Hyde
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Love and Theft
- A Novel
- By: Stan Parish
- Narrated by: Angelo Di Loreto
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 63
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 56
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 55
When Alex and Diane meet, there are instant, undeniable sparks. Both are single parents living in wealthy suburbia: independent, highly competent, and seemingly settled in their comfortable lives. She runs a successful catering business. He's a detail-oriented, rough-hewn thief who robs banks, casinos, and jewelry stores. They're immediately drawn to each other, but neither realizes initially that their lives have overlapped once before, under dangerous circumstances. Soon their shared history and burgeoning relationship will threaten everything they love.
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5 out of 5 stars
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At the top of my list of favorites
- By Victor V. Cachia on 09-29-20
By: Stan Parish
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Who's That Girl?
- By: Mhairi McFarlane
- Narrated by: Cassie Bradley
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 227
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 211
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 210
An achingly funny story from the author of the best-selling You Had Me at Hello. When Edie is caught in a compromising position at her colleagues' wedding, all the blame falls on her - turns out that personal popularity in the office is not that different from your school days. Shamed online and ostracised by everyone she knows, Edie's forced to take an extended sabbatical - ghostwriting an autobiography for hot new acting talent, Elliot Owen. Easy, right? Wrong.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Very frustrating heroine, disappointing ending
- By Jennie L. Stumm on 09-23-20
By: Mhairi McFarlane