This Is How I Lied

By: Heather Gudenkauf

Narrated by: Brittany Pressley

Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins

Publisher's Summary

"Gudenkauf proves herself the master of the smart, suspenseful small-town thriller that gets right under your skin." (Gilly Macmillan, New York Times best-selling author of The Nanny)

Everyone has a secret they’ll do anything to hide....

Twenty-five years ago, the body of 16-year-old Eve Knox was found in the caves near her home in small-town Grotto, Iowa - discovered by her best friend, Maggie, and her sister, Nola. There were a handful of suspects, including her boyfriend, Nick, but without sufficient evidence the case ultimately went cold.

For decades Maggie was haunted by Eve’s death and that horrible night. Now a detective in Grotto, and seven months pregnant, she is thrust back into the past when a new piece of evidence surfaces and the case is reopened. As Maggie investigates and reexamines the clues, secrets about what really happened begin to emerge. But someone in town knows more than they’re letting on, and they’ll stop at nothing to keep the truth buried deep.

Check out these other riveting novels of suspense by best-selling author Heather Gudenkauf: The Weight of Silence, These Things Hidden, One Breath Away, Little Mercies, Missing Pieces, Not a Sound, and Before She Was Found.

©2020 Heather Gudenkauf (P)2020 Harlequin Audio

Non stop animal torture...

So the girl, not the main character, not the murder victim but the sister, kills animals, tortures them while others watch and and do.nothing. In one scene we are treated to the disturbing details of her opening up a dog with a scalpel with the girl then runnimg away and no one thinks to pick up the poor animal and get it to the vet? No that doesn't happen. To top. It off and what really makes it upsetting the girl grows up to be a VETERINARIAN. I'm sorry the narration is fine but I found the animal cruelty so distressing especially dissection... It ruined it for me. Not sure how others liked it so much. I don't like books with animal torture and I warn others.
Beware, there's animal killing, dissection. Experimentation.... Sigh. Disturbing and sad.

This was her worst book BY FAR.

The last few Heather Gudenkauf books have been nothing short of brilliant, so I had high expectations when I picked this up.

Unfortunately, this book read like the first draft of an amateur’s mystery novel. The main character’s motivations did not make sense, and she was the absolute WORST detective in the history of literature. Not once did she think critically about the situations she found herself in. Not once did she act out anything resembling police procedure. She was an easily-manipulated, unobservant idiot I actively rooted against due to her stupidity and self-absorption. I found myself shouting at this book as I suffered through it, because of how infuriating and out-of-touch it felt!

The plot was similar to five or six other mystery books I’ve read in the last year, and I will say this— if you do not enjoy gaslighting-based mysteries, where the main character is tricked into believing something she did not do— THEN DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK. I also have to point out that, had police procedure been taken into account at any point, the end would have no validity due to conflict of interest and failure to disclose personal prejudices against the accused. If you make it through this monstrosity, you’ll know what I mean.

Obviously, I do NOT recommend this book. I loved Not A Sound and Before She Was Found! By the end of THIS book, however, I was left wondering if Heather Gudenkauf has lost her touch.

Another hit!

Fantastic ! I’ve read (listened)all Heather Gudenkauf books and loved them all. I have to say this particular book shocked me a few times did not see some of those turns coming! Highly recommend this one!!!!!

good but not amazing

It took a while for this book to pick up but I couldn't stop listening once it did. I have to say I predicted the twist pretty early on but enjoyed it nonetheless. I still think this wasn't as good or engaging as Before She Was Found but if you're willing to give it a few hours in, this story picks up nicely

Great story

This keeps you guessing almost the whole book! I recommend and you won’t be able to stop listening! Narrator does a great job!

great read! hard to put down!

great read! hard to put down! kept me on the edge of my seat. Exploring all her other books to find more!

2.5 Just because it held my interest

I'm a fan of Heather's other works, but this one just didn't do it for me. Far too much suspension of disbelief is required of the reader to really get engaged. ****SPOILERS****

When the former best friend and finder of the body has the opportunity to take over the case, in real life, they would be forced to recuse themselves due to conflict of interest.

There is no court in this country that would allow a conviction to stand based on the ease with which this detective could have (and had every motive to) tamper with evidence. Further, the fact that there's a twist that comes out of nowhere with no lead up and changes basically everything we've been told up to that point in the book is not only frustrating but a big no-no for me. Oh yeah, I did it!! You have been looking for the killer when you actually think you're the one who did it?? Oof. It was obvious from the first time the dad said "don't worry I found it" that he was talking about some evidence that would have implicated his daughter, yet that point was drug out way too long and added no additional suspense. And lastly, Nola. She was just too much of a caricature to me. She never rang true. The book is torn between wanting to make her seem like a sociopath and making her sympathetic, but is never successful with either, and her big psycho scene was just dumb and unbelievable. And Maggie was a bumbling idiot for being lured there *when she knows she will go into labor at any moment* AND when she knows Nola hates her and is willing to break the law, and she suspects is already a killer. Too many times that Maggie found herself without her weapon. Too many times she talks about knowing Cam is a sexual predator and a pedo and does nothing about it even as she watches him feel up another child. If nothing else, she could have investigated his relationship with the girls he was around in present day...since we already established that this department doesn't care about conflicts of interest or integrity. And I feel like the cold case in a small town with an aging retired detective father with dementia is becoming a cliché trope by this point. Never related to any of the 3 characters, but sympathized with Eve...all in all, I'm just sad that this one fell flat for me. I do like this author's writing style, though. They style itself is engaging enough to keep me reading even when the story itself isn't working for me, and that's part of the battle with a book, is being engaged enough to want to keep going.

overall ok

I really enjoyed the book, it's not very police involved. The characters were all crazy! Being that they were all crazy you obviously couldn't tell who the bad guy was but everyone in your life cant really be that insane haha
Also felt a little young adult to me, fine with me but some wont like that feel to it.

Awesome story

Great book. This one keeps you on the edge of your seat. Well written. I love the way it was set up and how it all played out.

Mystery left me wanting more

I usually LOVE Heather Gudenkauf mysteries but I found myself frustrated with the plot. As a detective mystery I felt there was more plot needed with going back and going over the old case of Eve Knox's murder. I really wanted to like Maggie more as both a person and a police detective; as a person she did not give people enough credit, as the reader follows her through the past and the present, she psyches herself out all the time in giving credit to how people (loved ones) will react if she tells the truth. As a police detective, she underestimates Nola Knox as every turn, both as a child and now as an adult. Why didn't Maggie ever go interview the psychologist Gonzales who met with Nola after the murder and her run in with Eve's old boyfriend? Why is Maggie taking chances when she is ready to have a baby? Of course, I could not put this book down, the suspense was thrilling but I was uncomfortable a lot with Maggie, her professionalism as a cop, her choices, her secrets.