There's No Manual

Honest and Gory Wisdom About Having a Baby

By: Beth Newell, Jacqueline Ann May

Narrated by: Beth Newell, Jacqueline Ann May

The info-packed, truth-telling guide expectant and new mothers have been screaming into their pillows for.

So you're making a person...and no one will stop telling you what to do about it. Your friends, your neighbors, your Uber driver--everyone is giving you unsolicited advice, to which Beth and Jackie say: F*ck advice! There's no "right" way to be pregnant or a new mom, only stretchy pants to be worn and choices to be made.

This guide asks and answers all the essential questions that pop up from the first trimester to the fourth, such as: Should I have an unmedicated or drugged-out birth? (Up to you!) Will I have time to pee as a new mom? (Maybe!) How do I avoid hating my partner? (That's a little more complicated.) Funny, feminist, and, above all, pro-mom, this book is an actually useful baby shower gift.

*Includes a PDF of illustrations.

Critic reviews

"Most books on pregnancy seem to be written by people whose other profession is cross-stitching inspirational phrases on pillows. This book is not that. It is, for lack of a better term, a chill hang."
--Rachel Bloom

"If you are looking to laugh and learn a ton, read this book! I learned way more about pregnancy and parenthood from this book than from The Da Vinci Code, no offense to Dan Brown!”
–-Megan Amram


"This sharp, hilarious and 1000% relatable book gets to the heart of all Pregnancy Mysteries you actually need to know about, like how to handle pregnancy sex (lean into the oral), how to respond to strangers who want to know if the baby was "an oopsie," and exactly which drugs to ask for and when (all of them, immediately, if you're me, but to each their own). My personal favorite section: how to plan the perfect birth for your baby to ruin...because babies don't give a fuuuuuck about birth plans. #Truth."
–- Jordan Reid, author of The Big Fat Activity Book for Pregnant People

This saved me!

Being a new mommy-to-be, pregnancy seemed SO LONELY! Every women in my life could not have related to me or even give me advice, which was weird being that they are new and old mothers themselves. After listening to this, I felt so aware of this world that was unknown to me. I love both readers’ voices and all the sass that came along with it! It was like having coffee with your closest, most honest and caring gf. Girl power on a next level. Seriously, though, this book saved me from feeling like something was wrong with me and took me out of my many lows and anxiety. The only thing I wish they shined a light on are perinatal and postpartum depression. That would have helped me understand my emotions more as I was later diagnosed with perinatal depression. Other then that, I cannot recommend those book enough!!! Don’t, like, DO NOT hesitate on reading this! What I love is that it’s different stages too, so you can come back to this book at any time!!

Unbearable

Wow I was expecting something smart and funny with a unique point of view. Sounds like they had chatGPT write a pregnancy book in the style of a cringe gen z intern. Could not believe how bad this was. Could not finish. Was not helpful.