The World Has Gone to Turd and the Only Way to Save It Is with a Big Ol' Battle Royale

A Brutal, Action-Packed Comedy

By: Matthew A. Clarke

Narrated by: Lucas Boyd

Terrorists rule the world.

In the race to destroy the final orphanage on the planet, is there anything that can save the souls of the inhabitants of earth?

Jesus saves.

In a bizarre twist of fate, the majority of the population is eradicated. Those that remain are given a second chance, ascending to a curious land in which they are told they must fight for their lives to survive.

Only two can prevail.

Which is going to be somewhat of an issue given the inclusion of the Wild Cards; special combatants dropped into the battlefield to wreak havoc. From Kim Jong-un to Hitler, these guys are out for blood.

The World Has Gone To Turd And The Only Way To Save It Is With A Big Ol' Battle Royale is a brutal, action packed adventure that tackles some of the most pressing issues of modern times, such as what would happen if Jesus returned and wasn't able to find a virgin? And is it possible for a sentient man-turd to fall in love? One thing is for sure, you've never seen a battle royale quite like this.

©2021 Matthew A. Clarke (P)2025 Matthew A. Clarke

There are no words

...but here's a bunch of them anyway.

It's been a minute since I read some bizarro as hilarious as this book. I don't need to outline the plot. It's the title. Imagine this: the world has gone to shit, so Jesus decides to level the population and have the survivors duke it out. The last two standing get to repopulate the world. Cool, right? I mean, maybe not for the participants, but for us readers? Cooool.

Listen, I don't want to give away too many details because the details are where the fun of reading resides. I will say that if you are squeamish about gratuitous violence and gore, sentient poo, sex, or any combination of the three, this book isn't for you. If you find extreme caricatures of religious figures offensive, take a pass. But if you're ready for a story you'll never forget, grab this book and put on the audiobook because it is so much fun.

I received and Audible code from the narrator, Lucas Boyd. Matt Clarke is already one of my favorite authors but now I have a new must listen narrator. He brought each unique character to a life of their own. My daughter, who doesn't usually like audiobooks, joined me while I was halfway through and ended up listening to the entire second half with me. We laughed our asses off at the absurdity of this story and thoroughly enjoyed Boyd's performance. It is a rare thing that she sticks around to finish a book with me, so thanks to Matt Clarke and Lucas Boyd for that.