The Woman They Wanted

Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian Wife

By: Shannon Harris

Narrated by: Shannon Harris

Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins

Publisher's summary

As a twenty-three-year-old singer and the soon-to-be wife of youth pastor Joshua Harris, nothing in Shannon Harris's secular upbringing prepared her to enter the world of conservative Christianity. Soon Joshua's bestselling book I Kissed Dating Goodbye helped inspire a national purity movement, and Shannon's identity became "pastor's wife."

The Woman They Wanted recounts Shannon's remarkable experience inside Big Church—where she was asked to live within a narrow definition of womanhood for almost two decades—and her subsequent journey out of that world and into a more authentic version of herself. Entering conservative American Christianity was like being drawn out to sea, she writes, inexorable and all consuming. Slowly, her worldview was narrowed, her motivations questioned, her behavior examined, until she had been whittled down to an idealized version of femininity envisioned as an extension of her husband and the church. However, when Sovereign Grace Ministries fell apart due to leadership conflicts and Shannon found herself outside church circles for the first time in years, she heard her intuition calling to her again. As she began to shake off the fog of depression and confusion, that voice grew louder. In honoring it, she awakened to the realities in which she had been trapped and found her truest self.

©2023 Shannon Harris (P)2023 eChristian

A Must Read

Very clear and thoughtful examination of the trauma from church. Helpful in understanding how one might end up in a life never imagined.

Bitter sweet story.

I really enjoyed Shannon's honest sharing of her journey. I can see how it would be many women's story in some evangelical churches. I am thankful that my own experience has been one of freedom for women to share their gifts and talents and still be true to who they are. My own faith journey has been Full of ups and downs, Sweetness and pain. Failures and redemption. Always pursued by my savior Jesus and reminded how much he loves me, not my performance. Religion is not what Jesus has in mind for his daughters to
Bear as a Burden. The only thing that saddened me about the story was that in the end, Shannon was not sure She even believed there was a God. I'm glad she is free from The tyrant of religiosity. I am happy that her faith journey can now truly begin ... that Jesus always pursues us. I would be lost if he hadn't pursued me. I love you, Shannon.

Important wake up

Personal story of how an ultra conservative church pidgeon holes and disenfranchises women. rather than protecting peoples faith they push believers to a crisis of faith. Important memoir that answers most of the questions people have about this couple. Minus stars for literary style and reading.

The fruit of truth

Thank you for sharing your story and living courageously. This message needs to be spoken.

I Couldn’t Put It Down

This is the experience, to some degree or another of many, many women in church. It was extremely relatable.

A nice take on American Evangelism.

This is an ideal read for someone who is starting to question their faith or Evangelical faith community. It’s a safe and balanced book.

Gratefully sad

I am gratefully sad that Shannon Bonne (Harris) wrote this account…grateful for her courage and honesty, and also sad for her experiences and forced entry into a farce of Christianity. While I cannot come close to grasping her experience, I can also say she was truly misled into a “faith” that was spoon forced (not fed) to her, which means I am sadly unsurprised at her painful story. I can disagree with some of her biblical and theological assertions, but I can also understand why she believes (or doesn’t believe) as she does.

A close and personal portrayal of religious indoctrination told by a very smart and brave woman.

This book was astounding. It provides an in depth look at an often clandestine world. Shannon’s story is moving and inspiring to anyone coping with escape from a high control religions. Highly recommended. All the best to Shannon and her family!

An honest story that pulled the curtain back and encourages others to step into the light.

Truth told within the lines and punctuation. I stumbled upon this book, accident? I don’t know. But I’m glad I did. I heard much of my own story in the story Shannon Harris shares. The details and circumstances were different, but enough similarities that her courageous sharing, brings encouragement and healing to places not many may understand. Thank you Shannon for your bravery in an arena few are willing to go.

Excellently done and extremely interesting

What a great read! I was extremely impressed with the story and the author. Also amazing that she has this kind of story and is able to tell it