It began so innocent.

A dating app. Text messages back and forth. The first date.

Things were going so well, until inconsistencies began to pop up.

Love is a basic human need and desire. Everyone wants to find it and keep it. But how do you know when you're being manipulated?

In this episode of The Victim's Pedestal, Michael Janks, a highly successful real estate agent in South Africa, shares his story of how his search for love lead him straight into the arms of a narcissist.  He never thought the love of his life would betray him like that.

The Victim's Pedestal: A Voice For Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse

This podcast and community were inspired after my last relationship ended. My ex-boyfriend was a covert narcissist, and he broke my mind, my spirit and my heart in ways I never could have imagined. I had been in a relationship with a narcissist before, so I thought I knew all the signs. I thought I knew what to look for. I thought I would never be tricked again....but I was wrong.

During my relationship with the covert narcissist, I lost a lot of friends, including my two best friends. Once the relationship ended and I was homeless, depressed and heartbroken, I was astonished by the lack of support and understanding I received from my existing friends and acquaintances. 

People either blamed me for the abuse (why did you let him use you? What red flags did you miss? You didn't love yourself enough and that's why you attracted this man) or they told me not to talk about him and my experience at all. One friend even told me that if I spoke about my experience with my ex, that people would compare me to Amber Heard. Another advised me to only post photos of myself on social media where I was happy and living my best life.

But I wasn't happy and I wasn't living my best life. I was sad, miserable and life had never been worse.

So, I began talking about my experience even more. I got louder instead of quieter. I sought out others who have been through what I've been through. And I encouraged victim's to speak up about their experience. 

And so, the Victim's Pedestal was born as a way to allow victims and survivors to share their stories.

Some of the people who you will hear from are still in relationships with narcissists and are trying to escape. Others have already left.

My hope is that you will find comfort as you listen to these stories, as they will confirm to you that you're not alone and you can get through this.

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