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The Beast and the Bethany
- Narrated by: Barnaby Edwards
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
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The Beast and the Bethany
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Publisher's summary
Lemony Snicket meets Roald Dahl in this “wickedly funny” (James Ponti, New York Times best-selling author), deliciously macabre, and highly illustrated tale of a hungry beast, a vain immortal man, and a not-so-charming little girl who doesn’t know she’s about to be eaten.
Beauty comes at a price. And no one knows that better than Ebenezer Tweezer, who has stayed beautiful for 511 years. How, you may wonder? Ebenezer simply has to feed the beast in the attic of his mansion. In return for meals of performing monkeys, statues of Winston Churchill, and the occasional cactus, Ebenezer gets potions that keep him young and beautiful, as well as other presents.
But the beast grows ever greedier with each meal, and one day he announces that he’d like to eat a nice, juicy child next. Ebenezer has never done anything quite this terrible to hold onto his wonderful life. Still, he finds the absolutely snottiest, naughtiest, and most frankly unpleasant child he can and prepares to feed her to the beast.
The child, Bethany, may just be more than Ebenezer bargained for. She’s certainly a really rather rude houseguest, but Ebenezer still finds himself wishing she didn’t have to be gobbled up after all. Could it be Bethany is less meal-worthy and more...friend-worthy?
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What listeners say about The Beast and the Bethany
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- K. Hunt
- 02-07-23
Excellent!
Truly hysterical, slighly dark & MUST Listen! My 9 year old son loved it! Can't wait to listen to Book 2!
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Don’t miss this…
- By Kindle CustomerPatty C. on 03-10-23
By: Carlie Sorosiak
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The Lion of Mars
- By: Jennifer L. Holm
- Narrated by: Maxwell Glick
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 110
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 86
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 86
Bell has spent his whole life—all eleven years of it—on Mars. But he's still just a regular kid—he loves cats and any kind of cake, and is curious about the secrets the adults in the US colony are keeping. Like, why don't they have contact with anyone on the other Mars colonies? Why are they so isolated? When a virus breaks out and the grown-ups all fall ill, Bell and the other children are the only ones who can help. It's up to Bell—a regular kid in a very different world—to uncover the truth and save his family...and possibly unite an entire planet.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fun but sometimes intense
- By Sandra on 09-24-23
By: Jennifer L. Holm
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Ben Yokoyama and the Cookie of Doom
- By: Matthew Swanson
- Narrated by: Matthew Swanson
- Length: 3 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 11
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11
When Ben reads his fortune-cookie fortune, he's alarmed and inspired. Immediately, he begins drafting a bucket list of unfinished tasks and lifelong dreams (finish his 1000-piece model of the Taj Mahal, eat an entire cake, etc.). As Ben marches himself in and out of trouble, takes useful risks, and helps both his parents to see the bigger picture, readers discover how something that seems scary can instead be empowering - leading to friendships that might never have been made, neighbors that might never have been known, and apple pies that might otherwise never have been baked.
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1 out of 5 stars
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wrong narration
- By Andy H. on 07-07-22
By: Matthew Swanson
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Get a Grip, Vivy Cohen!
- By: Sarah Kapit
- Narrated by: Cassandra Morris, JD Jackson
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 9
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9
Vivy Cohen is determined. She's had enough of playing catch in the park. She's ready to pitch for a real baseball team. But Vivy's mom is worried about Vivy being the only girl on the team, and the only autistic kid. She wants Vivy to forget about pitching, but Vivy won't give up. When her social skills teacher makes her write a letter to someone, Vivy knows exactly who to choose: her hero, Major League pitcher VJ Capello.
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5 out of 5 stars
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an amazing story
- By Heather on 12-22-20
By: Sarah Kapit
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The Accidental Apprentice
- Wilderlore, Book 1
- By: Amanda Foody
- Narrated by: Steve West
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 93
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 80
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 78
The last thing Barclay Thorne ever wanted was an adventure. Thankfully, as an apprentice to the town’s mushroom farmer, Barclay need only work hard and follow the rules to one day become the head mushroom farmer himself. No danger required. But then Barclay accidentally breaks his town’s most sacred rule: Never ever ever stray into the Woods, for within the Woods lurk vicious magical Beasts. To Barclay’s horror, he faces a fate far worse than being eaten: He unwittingly bonds with a Beast and is run out of town by an angry mob.
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5 out of 5 stars
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LOVED IT! **SPOILER**
- By Cheekyreviews on 09-02-21
By: Amanda Foody
Related to this topic
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A Thousand Roads Home
- By: Carmel Harrington
- Narrated by: Jill Crawford, Frank Grimes
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 177
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 163
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 163
Meet Tom. Or Dr O’Grady, as he used to be called. When you pass him on the street, most people don’t even give him a second glance. You see, Tom isn’t living his best life. Burdened by grief, he’s only got his loyal dog, Bette Davis, for company and a rucksack containing his whole world. Then there’s Ruth and her son, DJ, who no longer have a place to call home. But Ruth believes that you can change the world by helping one person at a time - and Tom needs her help. There are a thousand ways to find your home - you just need to be brave enough to look for them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Couldn't put it down
- By Allison Swart on 09-22-19
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Stella's Story
- Thrown Away Children, Book 1
- By: Louise Allen
- Narrated by: Melanie Crawley
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 122
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 113
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Story5 out of 5 stars 113
Named after the lager that christened her at birth, Stella's life is characterised instability and neglect. Her teenage mother abandons her in the first few weeks of her life, and left in the 'care' of her father, she ends up lying deserted in a house with no food, no water, no clothes and no warmth. She eventually lands in the care of foster carer Louise, who is determined to change her life for the better.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Such a heart wrenching story of beauty and pain
- By Anonymous User on 09-30-23
By: Louise Allen
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The Lonely Life of Biddy Weir
- By: Lesley Allen
- Narrated by: Bríd Brennan
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 23
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 20
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Story5 out of 5 stars 20
Biddy Weir is a quirky girl. Abandoned by her mother as a baby, and with a father who's not quite equipped for the challenges of modern parenting, Biddy lives in her own little world, happy to pass her time painting by the sea and watching the birds go by. That is, until she meets Alison Flemming. Because there are a few things about Biddy that aren't normal, you see. And Alison isn't afraid to point them out to the world. All of a sudden, Biddy's quiet life is thrown into turmoil. If only there was someone to convince her that, actually, everyone's a little bit weird....
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Lonely Life Of Biddy Weir
- By George Criticos on 08-10-20
By: Lesley Allen
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The Nothing Girl
- The Frogmorton Farm Series, Book 1
- By: Jodi Taylor
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,462
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,180
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,177
Getting a life isn't always easy. And hanging on to it is even harder.... Jodi Taylor brings all her comic writing skills to this heartwarming tale of self-discovery. Known as The Nothing Girl because of her severe stutter and chronically low self-confidence, Jenny Dove is only just prevented from ending it all by the sudden appearance of Thomas, a mystical golden horse only she can see. Under his guidance Jenny unexpectedly acquires a husband - the charming and chaotic Russell Checkland.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So much better than I expected
- By Marilyn Armstrong on 07-25-15
By: Jodi Taylor
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Clovenhoof
- By: Heide Goody, Iain Grant
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 496
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 416
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 413
Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This Series Is Phenomenal
- By Marcus on 10-27-19
By: Heide Goody, and others
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Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend
- A Novel
- By: Jenny Colgan
- Narrated by: Karen Cass
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 85
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 77
Sophie Chesterton is London's "It Girl". She knows all the right people, goes to all the right parties, and wears all the right clothes...and her rich parents pay for everything. But deep down she suspects that her best "friends" - and her posh lifestyle - are nothing but shallow fakes. Then one evening Sophie's life takes a shocking, drastic turn, and her father decides it's high time for the party girl to make her own way in the world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A lovely listen!
- By Kate Walter on 03-21-23
By: Jenny Colgan
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A Thousand Roads Home
- By: Carmel Harrington
- Narrated by: Jill Crawford, Frank Grimes
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 177
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 163
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 163
Meet Tom. Or Dr O’Grady, as he used to be called. When you pass him on the street, most people don’t even give him a second glance. You see, Tom isn’t living his best life. Burdened by grief, he’s only got his loyal dog, Bette Davis, for company and a rucksack containing his whole world. Then there’s Ruth and her son, DJ, who no longer have a place to call home. But Ruth believes that you can change the world by helping one person at a time - and Tom needs her help. There are a thousand ways to find your home - you just need to be brave enough to look for them.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Couldn't put it down
- By Allison Swart on 09-22-19
-
Stella's Story
- Thrown Away Children, Book 1
- By: Louise Allen
- Narrated by: Melanie Crawley
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 122
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 113
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 113
Named after the lager that christened her at birth, Stella's life is characterised instability and neglect. Her teenage mother abandons her in the first few weeks of her life, and left in the 'care' of her father, she ends up lying deserted in a house with no food, no water, no clothes and no warmth. She eventually lands in the care of foster carer Louise, who is determined to change her life for the better.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Such a heart wrenching story of beauty and pain
- By Anonymous User on 09-30-23
By: Louise Allen
-
The Lonely Life of Biddy Weir
- By: Lesley Allen
- Narrated by: Bríd Brennan
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 23
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 20
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 20
Biddy Weir is a quirky girl. Abandoned by her mother as a baby, and with a father who's not quite equipped for the challenges of modern parenting, Biddy lives in her own little world, happy to pass her time painting by the sea and watching the birds go by. That is, until she meets Alison Flemming. Because there are a few things about Biddy that aren't normal, you see. And Alison isn't afraid to point them out to the world. All of a sudden, Biddy's quiet life is thrown into turmoil. If only there was someone to convince her that, actually, everyone's a little bit weird....
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
The Lonely Life Of Biddy Weir
- By George Criticos on 08-10-20
By: Lesley Allen
-
The Nothing Girl
- The Frogmorton Farm Series, Book 1
- By: Jodi Taylor
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,462
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,180
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,177
Getting a life isn't always easy. And hanging on to it is even harder.... Jodi Taylor brings all her comic writing skills to this heartwarming tale of self-discovery. Known as The Nothing Girl because of her severe stutter and chronically low self-confidence, Jenny Dove is only just prevented from ending it all by the sudden appearance of Thomas, a mystical golden horse only she can see. Under his guidance Jenny unexpectedly acquires a husband - the charming and chaotic Russell Checkland.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
So much better than I expected
- By Marilyn Armstrong on 07-25-15
By: Jodi Taylor
-
Clovenhoof
- By: Heide Goody, Iain Grant
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 496
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 416
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 413
Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
This Series Is Phenomenal
- By Marcus on 10-27-19
By: Heide Goody, and others
-
Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend
- A Novel
- By: Jenny Colgan
- Narrated by: Karen Cass
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 85
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 77
Sophie Chesterton is London's "It Girl". She knows all the right people, goes to all the right parties, and wears all the right clothes...and her rich parents pay for everything. But deep down she suspects that her best "friends" - and her posh lifestyle - are nothing but shallow fakes. Then one evening Sophie's life takes a shocking, drastic turn, and her father decides it's high time for the party girl to make her own way in the world.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A lovely listen!
- By Kate Walter on 03-21-23
By: Jenny Colgan
-
The Other Son
- By: Nick Alexander
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 12 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 109