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The Beast and the Bethany
- Narrated by: Barnaby Edwards
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
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Publisher's summary
Lemony Snicket meets Roald Dahl in this “wickedly funny” (James Ponti, New York Times best-selling author), deliciously macabre, and highly illustrated tale of a hungry beast, a vain immortal man, and a not-so-charming little girl who doesn’t know she’s about to be eaten.
Beauty comes at a price. And no one knows that better than Ebenezer Tweezer, who has stayed beautiful for 511 years. How, you may wonder? Ebenezer simply has to feed the beast in the attic of his mansion. In return for meals of performing monkeys, statues of Winston Churchill, and the occasional cactus, Ebenezer gets potions that keep him young and beautiful, as well as other presents.
But the beast grows ever greedier with each meal, and one day he announces that he’d like to eat a nice, juicy child next. Ebenezer has never done anything quite this terrible to hold onto his wonderful life. Still, he finds the absolutely snottiest, naughtiest, and most frankly unpleasant child he can and prepares to feed her to the beast.
The child, Bethany, may just be more than Ebenezer bargained for. She’s certainly a really rather rude houseguest, but Ebenezer still finds himself wishing she didn’t have to be gobbled up after all. Could it be Bethany is less meal-worthy and more...friend-worthy?
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- K. Hunt
- 02-07-23
Excellent!
Truly hysterical, slighly dark & MUST Listen! My 9 year old son loved it! Can't wait to listen to Book 2!
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- By Cheekyreviews on 09-02-21
By: Amanda Foody
Related to this topic
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A Thousand Roads Home
- By: Carmel Harrington
- Narrated by: Jill Crawford, Frank Grimes
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Meet Tom. Or Dr O’Grady, as he used to be called. When you pass him on the street, most people don’t even give him a second glance. You see, Tom isn’t living his best life. Burdened by grief, he’s only got his loyal dog, Bette Davis, for company and a rucksack containing his whole world. Then there’s Ruth and her son, DJ, who no longer have a place to call home. But Ruth believes that you can change the world by helping one person at a time - and Tom needs her help. There are a thousand ways to find your home - you just need to be brave enough to look for them.
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Couldn't put it down
- By Allison Swart on 09-22-19
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Stella's Story
- Thrown Away Children, Book 1
- By: Louise Allen
- Narrated by: Melanie Crawley
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Named after the lager that christened her at birth, Stella's life is characterised instability and neglect. Her teenage mother abandons her in the first few weeks of her life, and left in the 'care' of her father, she ends up lying deserted in a house with no food, no water, no clothes and no warmth. She eventually lands in the care of foster carer Louise, who is determined to change her life for the better.
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Such a heart wrenching story of beauty and pain
- By Anonymous User on 09-30-23
By: Louise Allen
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The Lonely Life of Biddy Weir
- By: Lesley Allen
- Narrated by: Bríd Brennan
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Biddy Weir is a quirky girl. Abandoned by her mother as a baby, and with a father who's not quite equipped for the challenges of modern parenting, Biddy lives in her own little world, happy to pass her time painting by the sea and watching the birds go by. That is, until she meets Alison Flemming. Because there are a few things about Biddy that aren't normal, you see. And Alison isn't afraid to point them out to the world. All of a sudden, Biddy's quiet life is thrown into turmoil. If only there was someone to convince her that, actually, everyone's a little bit weird....
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The Lonely Life Of Biddy Weir
- By George Criticos on 08-10-20
By: Lesley Allen
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The Nothing Girl
- The Frogmorton Farm Series, Book 1
- By: Jodi Taylor
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Getting a life isn't always easy. And hanging on to it is even harder.... Jodi Taylor brings all her comic writing skills to this heartwarming tale of self-discovery. Known as The Nothing Girl because of her severe stutter and chronically low self-confidence, Jenny Dove is only just prevented from ending it all by the sudden appearance of Thomas, a mystical golden horse only she can see. Under his guidance Jenny unexpectedly acquires a husband - the charming and chaotic Russell Checkland.
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So much better than I expected
- By Marilyn Armstrong on 07-25-15
By: Jodi Taylor
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Clovenhoof
- By: Heide Goody, Iain Grant
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.
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This Series Is Phenomenal
- By Marcus on 10-27-19
By: Heide Goody, and others
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Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend
- A Novel
- By: Jenny Colgan
- Narrated by: Karen Cass
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sophie Chesterton is London's "It Girl". She knows all the right people, goes to all the right parties, and wears all the right clothes...and her rich parents pay for everything. But deep down she suspects that her best "friends" - and her posh lifestyle - are nothing but shallow fakes. Then one evening Sophie's life takes a shocking, drastic turn, and her father decides it's high time for the party girl to make her own way in the world.
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A lovely listen!
- By Kate Walter on 03-21-23
By: Jenny Colgan
-
A Thousand Roads Home
- By: Carmel Harrington
- Narrated by: Jill Crawford, Frank Grimes
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Meet Tom. Or Dr O’Grady, as he used to be called. When you pass him on the street, most people don’t even give him a second glance. You see, Tom isn’t living his best life. Burdened by grief, he’s only got his loyal dog, Bette Davis, for company and a rucksack containing his whole world. Then there’s Ruth and her son, DJ, who no longer have a place to call home. But Ruth believes that you can change the world by helping one person at a time - and Tom needs her help. There are a thousand ways to find your home - you just need to be brave enough to look for them.
-
-
Couldn't put it down
- By Allison Swart on 09-22-19
-
Stella's Story
- Thrown Away Children, Book 1
- By: Louise Allen
- Narrated by: Melanie Crawley
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Named after the lager that christened her at birth, Stella's life is characterised instability and neglect. Her teenage mother abandons her in the first few weeks of her life, and left in the 'care' of her father, she ends up lying deserted in a house with no food, no water, no clothes and no warmth. She eventually lands in the care of foster carer Louise, who is determined to change her life for the better.
-
-
Such a heart wrenching story of beauty and pain
- By Anonymous User on 09-30-23
By: Louise Allen
-
The Lonely Life of Biddy Weir
- By: Lesley Allen
- Narrated by: Bríd Brennan
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Biddy Weir is a quirky girl. Abandoned by her mother as a baby, and with a father who's not quite equipped for the challenges of modern parenting, Biddy lives in her own little world, happy to pass her time painting by the sea and watching the birds go by. That is, until she meets Alison Flemming. Because there are a few things about Biddy that aren't normal, you see. And Alison isn't afraid to point them out to the world. All of a sudden, Biddy's quiet life is thrown into turmoil. If only there was someone to convince her that, actually, everyone's a little bit weird....
-
-
The Lonely Life Of Biddy Weir
- By George Criticos on 08-10-20
By: Lesley Allen
-
The Nothing Girl
- The Frogmorton Farm Series, Book 1
- By: Jodi Taylor
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Getting a life isn't always easy. And hanging on to it is even harder.... Jodi Taylor brings all her comic writing skills to this heartwarming tale of self-discovery. Known as The Nothing Girl because of her severe stutter and chronically low self-confidence, Jenny Dove is only just prevented from ending it all by the sudden appearance of Thomas, a mystical golden horse only she can see. Under his guidance Jenny unexpectedly acquires a husband - the charming and chaotic Russell Checkland.
-
-
So much better than I expected
- By Marilyn Armstrong on 07-25-15
By: Jodi Taylor
-
Clovenhoof
- By: Heide Goody, Iain Grant
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.
-
-
This Series Is Phenomenal
- By Marcus on 10-27-19
By: Heide Goody, and others
-
Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend
- A Novel
- By: Jenny Colgan
- Narrated by: Karen Cass
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sophie Chesterton is London's "It Girl". She knows all the right people, goes to all the right parties, and wears all the right clothes...and her rich parents pay for everything. But deep down she suspects that her best "friends" - and her posh lifestyle - are nothing but shallow fakes. Then one evening Sophie's life takes a shocking, drastic turn, and her father decides it's high time for the party girl to make her own way in the world.
-
-
A lovely listen!
- By Kate Walter on 03-21-23
By: Jenny Colgan
-
The Other Son
- By: Nick Alexander
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 12 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall