The ADHD Vampire Audiobook By Matthew Vaughn cover art

The ADHD Vampire

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The ADHD Vampire

By: Matthew Vaughn
Narrated by: Elizabeth Demetrios
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A cruise ship for retired sex addicts, the USS Exciter, is the site of a party a lot of people on board will never forget (but some of them will, anyway). Lurking in the cargo hold is Horace Dracul, half-brother of the legendary Dracula, and he dreams of reaching the shores of a country where the blood flows like wine and bright, shiny lights are seemingly infinite. However, another member of the Exciter’s well-aged population has some secrets of her own: Martha - retired cyborg and ex-spy.

In the grand tradition of slasher-horror literature in which a lot of people are murdered in gruesome ways, The USS Exciter will host an orgy of violence and sex toys, and an easily distracted vampire named Horace might have himself a bloody-good time.

©2015 Matthew Vaughn (P)2019 Matthew Vaughn Horror Literature & Fiction Satire Scary Comedy Fantasy
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I knew right away I was going to love this book. It's freaking hilarious. This takes place on an orgy cruise ship for the elderly. Lots of mentions of diapers and gumming, if you catch my drift. Elizabeth Demetrios is another new to me narrator, probably because a cursory glance at her Audible credits shows she mostly narrates cozy mysteries and shifter romance, but I like her. Anyway, everything is hunky dory for the horny old people right up until someone opens a crate in the cargo hold containing a dangerous stowaway. Did you know Dracula had a fuck up of a brother who dreams of his own bloody legacy? He is every bit as dangerous as his famous brother and has no trouble finding not one but three brides on the cruise ship, but he is endlessly distracted. ADHD vampire. But that doesn't stop him from wreaking havoc on the passengers of this ship. It's an all out blood sucking gore fest. And then as if this story didn't have enough WTF to go around, we meet Martha, the part cyborg octogenarian retired secret agent. Yeah, you read that right. Another ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ from me. This story is weird and disgusting and funny in a way that is totally on brand for Vaughn.

super funny

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