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Publisher's Summary

Mallory Ortberg, co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters.

Everyone knows that if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she'd constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she'd text you to pick her up after she totaled her car.

Based on the popular Web feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mash-up that brings the characters from your favorite books into the 21st century.

©2014 Mallory Ortberg (P)2015 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"This is the best kind of English-major humor. There's not a weak point in the book; it's terrific, snicker-inducing fun throughout." ( Library Journal)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 3.5 out of 5 stars
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    102
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Performance

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Story

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Gillian
  • Austin, TX, United States
  • 05-05-16

Charming, Often Hilarious 2+ Hours!

I work the graveyard shift, when my charges are asleep. While I was listening to this, "Texts from Jane Eyre", I laughed so loud I was afraid I was going to wake some of them up.
This is a totally light listen, spoofs and twists that are immensely enjoyable. It sure does help if you know the characters, but I don't think you need to know thaaaat much to find it fun. From Achilles, who's a sullen sod, to "Atlas Shrugged", where during a conversation, "COMMUNISM!" is suddenly shouted, "Jane Eyre", where Mr. Rochester smirks lightly about attics and cellars, to "The Outsiders", where Pony Boy waxes obsessively about eye color, there's a wide variety of original works that are so very enjoyable. "Hamlet" is glorious, "The Lorax" comes off as a pathetically exhausted creature whose emails mostly go to your Spam folder, William Blake has just one more drawing to give, and yes, he must admit, it's of someone being flayed, but who can have enough pictures of flayings?
I was worried that a lot would be lost in translation as texts are rather visual and punctuated with abbreviated 'text-speak', but I needn't have been worried: the narration is brilliant. Each narrator slips back and forth between characters seamlessly and the emotion they fill into each text is to die for.
Don't expect literary depth here; these are just snippets. But the snapshots they provide are hilarious and often provide a measure of depth and 'humanity' if you will to characters known and loved. And, hey! It's barely two hours. It's like eavesdropping only far more entertaining!

28 of 31 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

One big inside joke

If you haven't read the texts this book parodies, you'll be completely lost. However, if you've at least a passing familiarity with classic literature, you'll find this book amusing and occasionally insightful. At their best, these texts capture the emotional force or central idea of a literary work. Of course, some miss the mark, and I question the selection process for what works are included--Sweet Valley High? Really?--but overall this is an enjoyable ride.

The narrators also do a great job of shifting between characters and accents, an impressive feat.

16 of 19 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Turning texts into conversation

What made the experience of listening to Texts from Jane Eyre the most enjoyable?

This was a wonderful audiobook, very funny and lots of enjoyable references for classic lit, mythology, and history fans. What made it most enjoyable was the fact that the two actors were able to change their tones to bring so many characters to life. Their performance helped convey the humor in every exchange, even ones where you may not have the knowledge about the subject matter to help inform the humor in the conversations.

11 of 14 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious; Print Version Even Funnier

This whip-smart collection of texting conversations is one of my favorite Audible discoveries, mainly because it led me to seek out the print version, which is ten times funnier. As wonderful as these narrators are, there's no way for them to vocally capture the hilarious visuals of a text conversation that includes punctuation or lack thereof, messages in all caps, smiley faces and other emoticons, and just the general hilarity of an iPhone screen showing texts back and forth between characters. My favorites were Hermione Granger's texts to and from Ron Weasley, Emily Dickinson's texts to and from her sister Cassandra, The Lorax's texts to an unknown (and unfortunate) randomly chosen female recipient, Nancy Drew's texts to Ned Nickerson, Hamlet's texts to and from his mother, Jane Eyre's texting conversations with Rochester and St.John, and Peeta's texts to an obviously weary Katniss. I found even the conversations spoofing books I had never read to be laugh-out-loud funny, so you don't necessarily have to be in on the joke to appreciate the humor in these exchanges. This collection will make you want to share it with everyone you know--especially any book lovers--and will leave you curious to read any of the original classics with which you are unfamiliar.

Highly recommended for whenever you could use a good laugh!

9 of 12 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

my go to on a bad day!

Normally, after I finish a book I take it off my phone. This book however is my go to on a bad day or when I just need a laugh. It was a random purchase, which has turned into one of my favorite things. I know all the characters from their original stories, so there random, text make me laugh. I even went back and read read some of these old favorites after listing to this book.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Siddha108
  • Fairfield, Iowa, United States
  • 09-19-18

Very different from both TITLE and SAMPLE!

Both the title and the sample reading refer to only one selection in this book, which, at the very least, is misleading. The Jane Eyre section is delightful, but the book consists of similar treatments of other famous but more antique writing and nothing else seems as wonderfully well done.

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

didn't like it

just not for me. cute ideas as a high school creative writing assignment, but not for a book idea

2 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

The snark flows nicely.

Imagine some of the famous (and infamous) characters from literature, including mythology, having access to the modern technology of texting and voice mail. The exchange between Gilgamesh and Ishtar is very funny. She is trying to convince him to come join her and he repeatedly points out that her former boyfriends are either dead or MIA. Plato trying to explain the allegory of the cave is hysterical. He is trying to explain it to someone who is taking it literally and wants to go save all the poor cave dwellers before the fire gets to them. It includes more modern works also, like two characters from Fight Club, discussing Fight Club. Never seen the movie or read the book but I do know the first rule of Fight Club so it was very funny.

Texts from Jane Eyre is a great deal of fun to listen to. The narrators do an amazing job with the different characters and the emotions. The snark flows nicely. This is also one book that I think would work much much better as an audio than reading it. I did not read the book, physical or kindle. I listened to the Audible version.

I know I am not doing this book justice in my description. It really is funny. The only reason is rated 4 instead of 5 stars because I am woefully ignorant of some of the pieces featured, like Daisy Miller, The Outsiders, and The Babysitters Club. At two hours and twenty-two minutes, this is the perfect listen for a drive or just some free time that you would like to to be filled with humor.

#Clever #Funny #Witty #tagsgiving #sweepstakes

1 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Insipid

Worst audible purchase ever. I regret wasting the $0.99 and 30 minutes of my life on this steaming turd. (I kept hoping it would get better and wanted to give it a chance so I listened a lot longer than I should have.)

Performance was fine but the writing is terrible and the sad thing is that it's a mildly clever idea. If done well it could have been entertaining but it falls short. Has the author even read the original books? Just terrible.

4 of 11 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Too much and not enough

While I thought the narrators were great, I don't think this book is good to do in audio. Also, the humor mostly escaped me. It was over the top with sarcasm, but lacking in wit.

2 of 6 people found this review helpful