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Stone Cold Bastards
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
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Stone Cold Bastards
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Publisher's summary
Only a ragtag team of gargoyles stands between humanity and extinction.
Hell has released its ravening horde of demons, leaving most of humanity a puke-spewing, head-spinning mess of possession.
Humanity’s last hope? A team of misfit gargoyles - including a cigar-chomping, hard-ass grotesque - come alive and ready for battle during the End of Days. They guard the last cathedral-turned-sanctuary atop a bald knoll in the North Carolina mountains.
Gargoyle protection grudgingly extends to any human who can make it inside the sanctuary, but the power of the stonecutter blood magic, which protects the sanctuary, may not be enough when a rogue grotesque and his badly wounded ward arrive.
All the hounds of hell are on their heels. The last sanctuary is about to fall.
Critic reviews
“Misfit stone warriors against the demon apocalypse - a bloody good story!” (Gail Z. Martin, author of Shadow and Flame)
“Stone Cold Bastards is the most fun you'll ever have with the apocalypse. I'm not sure which I love more - the hillbilly-styled grotesques, the polite demons, or guts, gore, and mayhem.” (Diana Pharaoh Francis, author of the Crosspointe Chronicles Series)
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18,325
Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Suprizingly entertaining
- By Konstantin on 02-17-12
By: Larry Correia
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Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- By: Robert Bevan
- Narrated by: Jonathan Sleep
- Length: 32 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,821
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,627
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,619
Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- By Jonathan on 06-26-19
By: Robert Bevan
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Plague of the Dead
- The Morningstar Strain, Book 1
- By: Z. A. Recht
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,040
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 2,418
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,420
The end begins with a viral outbreak unlike anything mankind has ever encountered before. The infected are subject to delirium, fever, a dramatic increase in violent behavior, and a one-hundred percent mortality rate. Death. But it doesn't end there. The victims return from death to walk the earth. When a massive military operation fails to contain the plague of the living dead it escalates into a global pandemic.
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2 out of 5 stars
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YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT DOWN THAT CUP OF COFFEE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 09-08-16
By: Z. A. Recht
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Black Magic Outlaw, Books 1-3
- By: Domino Finn
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
- Length: 22 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 299
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 271
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 270
Being a necromancer is kinda cool until you wake up half dead in a dumpster. Cisco Suarez is into something bad. Wanted by police, drenched in the stink of dark magic, and nether creatures coming out of the woodwork. Is resurrection overrated or what? This box set contains the first three Black Magic Outlaw novels ( Dead Man, Shadow Play, and Heart Strings) all at one special omnibus price.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I just can't
- By Robert Higgins on 02-25-18
By: Domino Finn
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Ex-Heroes
- By: Peter Clines
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder, Khristine Hvam
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 9,273
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 8,495
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Story4 out of 5 stars 8,517
Stealth. Gorgon. Regenerator. Cerberus. Zzzap. The Mighty Dragon. They were heroes. Vigilantes. Crusaders for justice, using their superhuman abilites to make Los Angeles a better place. Then the plague of living death spread around the globe. Despite the best efforts of the superheroes, the police, and the military, the hungry corpses rose up and overwhelmed the country. The population was decimated, heroes fell, and the city of angels was left a desolate zombie wasteland like so many others.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Superheroes vs. Zombies? Sure, why not...
- By Aser Tolentino on 10-04-12
By: Peter Clines
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Storm Front
- The Dresden Files, Book 1
- By: Jim Butcher
- Narrated by: James Marsters
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55,355
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 48,373
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48,291
A call from a distraught wife, and another from Lt. Murphy of the Chicago PD Special Investigation Unit makes Harry believe things are looking up, but they are about to get worse, much worse. Someone is harnessing immense supernatural forces to commit a series of grisly murders. Someone has violated the first law of magic: Thou Shalt Not Kill. Tracking that someone takes Harry into the dangerous underbelly of Chicago, from mobsters to vampires....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Excellent Story, Distracting Sound Engineering
- By Tom on 05-20-10
By: Jim Butcher
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Deadlocked 1
- By: A.R. Wise
- Narrated by: Brian Sutherland
- Length: 2 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 136
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 121
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Story4 out of 5 stars 123
David was caught in the middle of the city when the zombie outbreak started. His wife and daughters were at home, stranded on the roof as zombies waited below. He would have to fight through hordes of undead, merciless other survivors, and a series of death defying stunts to get home. However, even if he makes it there, how can he be sure they're safe? Deadlocked puts you into David's head as he struggles to get home. Then a final confrontation occurs that could guarantee his family's survival, but at what cost?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Looks like a great series to follow
- By Tilo on 07-06-14
By: A.R. Wise
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The Last Mailman
- By: Kevin Burke
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 84
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
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Story4 out of 5 stars 74
Four-year degree in business.Trained in hand-to-hand combat. Works well with zombies.This is the resume of the last mailman on Earth. It is the near future, and the modern world we knew has been overrun and destroyed by reanimated corpses who hunt humans for food. Mankind has retreated to small pockets of civilization and practically surrendered to these walking dead. But one man routinely leaves behind the safety and comfort of his home in this new world in order to find the people and things we’ve long abandoned.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Zombies but not as many as expected
- By As happy as a monkey with two bananas in his hands on 08-16-13
By: Kevin Burke
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Half-Resurrection Blues
- Bone Street Rumba, Book 1
- By: Daniel José Older
- Narrated by: Daniel José Older
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 448
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 418
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Story4 out of 5 stars 422
Carlos Delacruz is one of the New York Council of the Dead's most unusual agents - an inbetweener, partially resurrected from a death he barely recalls suffering, after a life that’s missing from his memory. He thinks he is one of a kind - until he encounters other entities walking the fine line between life and death. One inbetweener is a sorcerer. He's summoned a horde of implike ngks capable of eliminating spirits, and they’re spreading through the city like a plague.
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4 out of 5 stars
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I liked it. A lot. But...
- By Leo on 01-13-16
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Undead Chaos
- By: Joshua Roots
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 118
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 107
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Story4 out of 5 stars 108
The job was simple: decapitate the zombie, get paid, get out. Warlock Marcus Shifter followed the plan perfectly. The corpse, however, did not. Now there's a body on the loose, accusations of illegal necromancy are flying, and the answers are waiting in the perilous alleys between the mortal and paranormal worlds. They're no place for someone who mostly gave up magic after a childhood accident. And given his tendency to shoot off his mouth and his Glock, Marcus is having a hell of a time digging up more than just bodies. When an apocalypse-minded megalomaniac threatens Marcus's family, things get personal.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Pretty good "beach" book
- By david on 12-04-13
By: Joshua Roots
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Dire: Fate
- The Dire Saga, Book 0.5
- By: Andrew Seiple
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 329
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 282
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 281
All Doctor Dire wants to do is save the world. But those pesky heroes keep getting in the way, and it's all she can do to give them a good fight without killing them. Supervillainy is such an underappreciated job these days....
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5 out of 5 stars
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A good taste
- By AV on 02-23-21
By: Andrew Seiple
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Contractor
- The Contractors, Book 1
- By: Andrew Ball
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,842
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,725
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,719
The Earth is under siege - and no one knows about it because the invaders erase those whom they consume. A handful of men and women stand on the border between the mundane and the magical. They have a special spark of soul - not quite enough to be naturally gifted in spellcraft but greater than the average person, a tiny flame that can ignite incredible potential. They possess the ability to fight back against the Vorid: the ability to become a Contractor.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Where. Is. The. Sequel!!!!
- By Brina on 07-21-16
By: Andrew Ball
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Imperium
- Caulborn, Book 1
- By: Nicholas Olivo
- Narrated by: Ian McEuen
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 434
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 399
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Story4 out of 5 stars 397
Vincent Corinthos has two things going for him: he's a top operative of a secret agency tasked with handling paranormal threats, and he's half-god. Normally that's a combo that leaves him well-equipped to handle any problems that come his way. Until now. Something is snatching Boston's most powerful paranormal entities right off the streets. Vampires, lycanthropes, fae, gremlins - no one is safe. No ransom notes, no bodies, no witnesses.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I enjoyed this audio book immensely!
- By Midwestbonsai on 06-27-16
By: Nicholas Olivo
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Charming
- Pax Arcana, Book 1
- By: Elliott James
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,146
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,973
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,975
John Charming isn't your average prince... He comes from a line of Charmings - an illustrious family of dragon slayers, witch-finders and killers dating back to before the fall of Rome. Trained by a modern day version of the Knights Templar, monster hunters who have updated their methods from chain mail and crossbows to Kevlar and shotguns, John Charming was one of the best-until a curse made him one of the abominations the Knights were sworn to hunt.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Charming is Like Dresden in wolves clothing
- By Suzanne on 05-24-14
By: Elliott James
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The Unleashing
- Call of Crows, Book 1
- By: Shelly Laurenston
- Narrated by: Johanna Parker
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,372
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,200
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,186
Kera Watson never expected to face death behind a Los Angeles coffee shop. Not after surviving two tours lugging an M16 around the Middle East. If it wasn't for her hot Viking customer showing up too late to help, nobody would even have seen her die. In uncountable years of service to the Allfather Odin, Ludvig "Vig" Rundstrom has never seen anyone kick ass with quite as much style as Kera.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Too Violent for this Reader
- By Aryn on 04-11-15
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Invasion
- Book One of the Secret World Chronicle
- By: Mercedes Lackey, Steve Libbey, Cody Martin, and others
- Narrated by: Nick Sullivan
- Length: 16 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 565
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 513
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Story4 out of 5 stars 517
The world had become used to the metahumans - people sometimes perfectly ordinary, but sometimes quite extraordinary in appearance - who mostly worked with their governments as high-powered peace officers, fighting crime, and sometimes fighting rogue metahumans who had become super-criminals. Then that comfortable world ended in just one terrifying day.
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2 out of 5 stars
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It's ...okay.
- By C Yohe on 10-16-12
By: Mercedes Lackey, and others
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The First Days
- As the World Dies, Book 1
- By: Rhiannon Frater
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,135
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,032
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,029
The morning that the world ends, Katie is getting ready for court and housewife Jenni is taking care of her family. Less than two hours later, they are fleeing for their lives from a zombie horde. Thrown together by circumstance, Jenni and Katie become a powerful zombie-killing partnership, mowing down zombies as they rescue Jenni's stepson, Jason, from an infected campground.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not for my demographic
- By Garth on 02-08-12
By: Rhiannon Frater
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Croak
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,806
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,658
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,658
Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Juvenile
- By Mark Faine on 09-23-13
By: Gina Damico
What listeners say about Stone Cold Bastards
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Mark M.
- 11-26-22
Great concept but a little lacking
A great concept that was a little lacking in character development. Semi-spoiler alert: the ending has more than a hint of Deus Ex Machina. An enjoyable listen none the less.
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