Push Back

Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself

De: Tonya Lester

Narrado por: Tonya Lester

In her debut book, popular therapist, Psychology Today blogger, and go-to relationship expert Tonya Lester offers a master class on how to be effectively assertive for anyone whose aversion to conflict has led to struggles at home, at work, or in relationships.

Tonya Lester has a bold piece of advice for every conflict-averse person in the world: It’s OK to be difficult. Not mean, not rigid, not a bully—but the kind of difficult that makes the people in your life see you and understand what you need. Too often, women are encouraged to be nurturers and peacemakers, which carries the implied message that they should also not rock the boat. But rocking the boat—or being assertive—is often exactly what women must do to have the life they want.

In Push Back, the Psychology Today blogger and Modern Love contributor explains how to be difficult in a way that is both clear and productive. All too often, Lester has seen her clients talk themselves out of being angry when anger was justified; tell half-lies or back off to avoid difficult conversations; absorb disappointment and resentment to let someone else have their way; and take on more than their fair share of work in a relationship to keep the peace. And they do so because most relationship advice ignores the very real problems of uncooperative and avoidant partners, systemic sexism, and pressures to compromise, be conciliatory, and aim for harmony. To push back on these pressures, Lester offers guidance that can help create a world that works better for everyone, starting with the women themselves.

In this accessible and uplifting guide, through exercises, case studies, and real-life examples from public figures, people pleasers learn to set boundaries in all kinds of relationships, express their needs and engage in productive conflict, and deal calmly with any backlash that might come from spouses, coworkers, bosses, in-laws, siblings, and children. Designed to challenge the sea of advice telling women they should smooth out interpersonal struggles, Push Back boldly advocates for the opposite: more (healthy) conflict, more clear limits, more rocking the boat.

©2025 Tonya Lester (P)2025 Recorded Books

Insightful and practical

I just finished listening to Push Back by Tonya Lester and it genuinely stopped me in my tracks. This is one of those rare books that is both deeply insightful and immediately practical. Tonya blends research, lived experience, and clear thinking in a way that feels smart, grounded, and very human.

I found myself pausing the audiobook repeatedly to take notes and flag moments that really hit home. Her concept of shock magnets was especially eye opening. It gave language to behaviors I have seen for years but never fully understood.

Push Back is personal without being self indulgent, direct without being preachy, and empowering without being simplistic. It challenges you to see yourself and others more clearly, and it stays with you long after you finish listening. I cannot recommend it enough.